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YOU!

You, the person, the One and Only! The one that makes me listen to soppy boy band songs. You, who make me understand why someone would actually write those words. You, who came into my life so suddenly and made me believe that love could actually exist.

You who made me realize that all the years I thought I actually felt love and that I actually am loving someone, I never did. You came into my life and I experienced a feeling that I didn't even realize existed. I tried to fight against this for a while, but you made it futile.

Words like "The first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep", wasn't even big enough to describe what I felt. You were always there, especially in my dreams. In my dreams we would say and do the things that I knew would never happen in real life.

Even keeping myself busy with silly things could not keep You away. You were always there, not in my thoughts, not in my heart, not even in my soul, I became You. I was You, everything was You.

I've tried is all; friends, other men, work, alcohol, but You stayed there, always. I couldn't get myself to a place where I could just live anymore. A life without You, just wouldn't be worth living anymore.

You scared me, but also excited me. You made me feel so many feelings all at once. Feelings I didn't even knew existed. Stupid, silly, childish, happy, sad. All these rolled into one, but intensified a 100 times.

At certain times it even felt as if I hated you, I hated you for making me feel like this. You made me do things I always were to afraid to do. And the things I said, was even worse. It was as if I wasn't me anymore, I was free, I was able to breath for the first time in my life.

Even my brain started working again, all these feelings made me think things I didn't even knew I was capable off. You gave me inspiration, you opened a creative side of me, you made me alive. A better person, someone who wanted to be here and who wanted to live.

You understood me, you never made me feel inferior, you made me feel important, like someone worth of existing. Not existing because I do, but because I am. You knew what I thought before I even thought it myself.

"I loved you before I met you"! Something I heard somewhere and never really understood, now makes sense. You are exactly that. I just never understood the feeling, because I've never felt it before. You're the one I've been looking for my whole life, without even realizing that I was looking.

I was content with my life as is, but then you happened and I realized for the first time how it could or rather should have been. I know now what was missing, You! You made it clear without even knowing about it. You gave me strength that I didn't know I had. You let me be me, just me, nothing more, nothing less.

Now only if You knew that You did this. I never told You.

And then You left!