Hi.

It's me!

The Real Me.  The Me that no-one knows.  No-one sees.  The Me that disappears behind fake appearances, fake smiles, fake words.

Real Me only surfaces on days like these.  Days wrapped in loneliness, sadness and despair.  Days so dark and gloomy as an afternoon storm.  The sudden dark and cold after a sunny day.  The sunny side, the Fake side, the side that makes people respond.  The side that gives and never takes, the side that screams with laughter the moment Real Me tries to surface.  The dominant side only allowing the Real Me to surface when it's dark and no-one's around to hear, see or feel the change.

The Real Me is exhausted.  Exhausted from always waiting.  Always being alone.  And always suppressed.  Well, nearly always.  Except in times like these.  The Real Me surfaces and with it brings a new bunch of feelings, fears and tears.  Causing sadness and pain to take control.  Pain so deep that even breathing becomes a hard thing to do.  So deep, deeper than the mind, deeper than the heart, so soul deep it's unexplainable.

"No, only joking....it's not really THAT bad".  Fake Me is surfacing again, trying to push Real Me back to the dark parts of my soul.  It's not working though.  Someday it just might stop working all together and the Real Me will become the dominant side.

Real Me doesn't care to be popular, safe or even sane.  Real Me just is.  Just exists.  No buts or maybes, just am.  Real Me doesn't allow other people or things to interfere.  Doesn't act, say or do stuff only to please others.  Doesn't care for being alone.

Fake Me, on the other side, realizes that being popular, safe and sane; works.  Fake Me is always planning something.  A party, a joke, a compliment.  Fake Me has friends.  Fake Me is always surrounded with fun and entertainment.  Fake Me gives advice and inspire.  Never complains or moans.  Never tell it like it is.  Never gives up.  Never becomes depressed.  No, Fake Me always smiles, makes others smile, makes them feel good, makes them happy.

Fake Me has friends, lots of them.

So, Best Friend.

Which Me do you know?