I gave you my all.  Everything.  Shared my thoughts, my ideas, my dreams.  Gave you hope, made you smile.  So what do I have now?

Nothing.  Nothing, because I don't have you?  No-way.  I gave myself away to be everything you wanted, everything you needed.  And I ended up getting nothing in return.

When you frowned, I made you smile.  When you cried, I wiped the tears.  When you fell, I picked you up.  I did all this because I cared, because I loved you.  Loved you as a friend, loved you like a brother, loved you, real love.  No, it was more than that.  Deeper than romance, deeper than the heart, it was soul deep.

You're thoughts became my thoughts.  Your dreams; mine.  I was working harder on them than you were.  Your happiness would someday become my happiness.  Or so I believed, but.....

it did not work.  I couldn't do it.  I could't make you happy, because you chose to be sad.  I couldn't make your dreams come true, because you didn't believe.  I couldn't wipe your tears, because you liked having them.  I couldn't pick you up when you fell, because you were to heavy.

Heavy with sadness, heavy with revenge, heavy from hatred.

Hatred towards someone I didn't even know.  Sometimes I'm not even sure you knew her at all.  You got hurt, hurt badly, soul deep.  And I ended up trying to make up for this.  I never could and never would.  You wouldn't let me.  Wouldn't let me show you how it should have been, how it could have been.

No, instead you used me to make you feel better.  Improve your ego for a while.  Used me, just to throw me away when your on your feet again.  Only to find me later again when your feet got tired and your heart heavy.

Everytime I was there.  Available.  To help, to listen, to console and to love.  It would never last, though.  Once you felt stronger again, you would just cast me away again.

For years and years I allowed you to do this.  Never got angry, never sad, never said a word.  Just glad for the times when you needed me.  For some time with you.  Never realising what I was doing to myself.  The hurt I caused myself.  The everlasting pain.

Finally, now, it changed.  I fell, fell hard, got hurt, and where are you.  No-where.  Out there somewhere with someone else, to busy living your life to rescue me. 

I'll pick myself up, like so many times before.  I'll do it all on my own.  Get my strength back, get up again. But, this time it will be different. 

I will not be crawling down the steps back to you, no, I will be running. Running in the opposite direction. Up!
I will rise above you, above this.  And next time you fall, I'll be here, but not helping, no, laughing.  Laughing from above and you will be to weak to reach me, because I will be to high up already.

So this is the last bit from me to you, I give UP!