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Sooo here I am... thinking back to my date... my long drawn out date. The issues we had, the struggles... the fun oh and yeah that kiss. I have thought about it... and I went back today and read what many of you have said in the past... I have this thing... and I am working it out. Have you ever had a problem and the answer is just right there ... you just cant wrap you brain around it?
The first kiss... the spark.... the fireworks and the world comming to a complete stop just for that one moment..... if that does not happen what does it mean? Could it mean you both are waisting your time? Could it mean you both are trying to hard to force something... could it mean that some man in China just spoke his first English word? Hell I don't know...
I wanted to understand the spark... and what it might be... and yeah I know it is not really a physical spark... well unless one of you is touching an electric fence. So what is the spark... Is it comfort? It is love? Is it positive energy? Is it a realease of tention... No one knows... it could be different for different people...
So here I am not better off then when I started... ok my date and my kiss.... well it seemed occward... it seemed just off... well there was not spark that is for sure... well now is it time to walk away... I mean there are alot of other reasons why I could just say screw it. And then most people would be like yeah ya know I really don't blame you. But what if... just maybe the spark was not there because there was an unseen tension that did not let it... maybe the spark is just that A release? I releas of emotions of stress of anxiety? Kinda like a big important decision... once you make it you feel lighter?? so what if she was stressed and I know I was a little off kilter and I walk away from something that still might contain that spark?? Am I saying that I need to give it months lol heeellll noooo.... but maybe I need to give it more that a few what seemed to be way far out there dates....
So here I am writing this to everyone who has ever spoken on the kiss and the spark?? what if we are what is holding the spark back? what if it is our desire to want to feel that sooo much that the pressure wont let it go? Maybe we need to relax and find out balance... maybe we should let go of needing to find it and let it just come naturally? Like two magnets.... if you take two of the same poles and try to hard it just pushes them apart... can you see what is doing it? Nope... you just know something is not right... but if you re group and just change things around a little they will snap right together... Who knows maybe I am talking out of my but... maybe just maybe I make some sense... but I guess for me I will let you know next weekend... look for my next blog and help me decide if my date is a good Idea... I have a nice afternoon planned. thanks for reading...
Smile.
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Posted by DouglasMB on 2008-09-21 16:30:48 | Rating: | Views: 95
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I'd say maybe it was due to her feeling bad for the "lies" she had to confess to. Maybe she was holding back?
I think the "spark" is raw attraction. I could be wrong????
Anyway I've heard of a few people having a date that was going well and with really nice people they could see as friend material, just no attraction or spark....
You can get to a place where when you learn enough about the person and what makes them you can find or see more things to admire about them.
I've said more then once I don't know if the "sparks" can come later or not. Maybe you'll be able to answer that.
I'd say give it the one more date at least. If this girl has toooooo much baggage then I don't think she'll let the spark fly. Maybe also you need to know her opinions on when she's alright with a kiss or intimate happening. Maybe if she felt it was too soon she was holding back? I think in order for the "spark" to happen both have to want to let go!
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-09-21 16:49:51
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Okay, just an observation: Isn't it usually women who overthink kissing? This seems odd to me that a mighty studly man such as yourself would worry about this. It's KISSING! It's not a cerebral activity! You kiss - it's either nice or it's UCKY (if he/she slobbers). It doesn't MEAN anything! If you're getting actual sparks, you're doing something wrong! Maybe there's a short in your wiring or something :P Kissing is animal! Stop analyzing!
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-09-21 17:32:00
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hahaha wow what a turn of events.... a woman telling a man to stop analyzing lol sorry I could not resist.... Thank ya for your comment boot and you better leave them princess fellas at home lol
Another: I plan on givin it a little more effort lol I hate to give up on someone and if nothing else she will be a great friend to have
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-09-21 17:36:36
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Douglas..The spark you speak of is important. Like you, I'm not sure what generates this spark but I'll give you my idea of how it forms. First of all if you are physically attracted to someone..then you crave being close to that person.. all the time and will go out of your way to do so. When they speak to you..your heart does this little double take thingy. If they walk towards you..your speechless at least for a moment. If they happen to touch your arm or any part of your body..it is electric and you smile. That first kiss after having experienced the anticipation of it..should be electric. Now to me..your dates were long..but good places to experience as a couple. There should have been some flirting and sexual tension and absent that..you may as well be out with your sister.
If you don't feel anything of this nature for her..you won't likely develop that. Mutual respect because you are both nice people is not grounds to build a relationship on. Now if you want to develop a friends only relationship..then the kissing is out. I guess the bottom line is where does Douglas want this to go. Remember this should be easy for both of you. If it is not, you are on the wrong date with the wrong woman no matter what venue you are at. Hope this helps. Try it one more time..and we'll cross our fingers for you. :)
peace :) shemelts
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Posted by shemelts
on 2008-09-21 17:52:45
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I agree with boots....you're way overthinking this entire thing. Just go with it and relax. Things will happen when they are meant to happen. This whole 'planning' every second of a date is too technical. Just let it flow and let the feelings come naturally. It'll be fine....just let it floooooooooooooooow!
SK
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-09-22 13:50:50
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