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| It's a lie? We can't be friends?
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Have you ever been in a situation where you and someone else had some sort of history, and then you wanted you guys to be friends? And realized, that it's not possible no matter how much you fake and believe it ?
There's this guy who we've had a past (we were never together though, but we liked each other.) A year ago I told him that i wanted us to be friends because i want to benefit from our relationship with each other. He agreed, claiming that i truly am a meaningful friend to him. So we were apparently friends. Though during this time when he claimed we were friends, i never felt friendship. We never talked much in real life, we simply didnt act upon being friends- yet no matter how less of it we act towards, he still claimed we were friends. And he would always do these things that give off mixed messages such as glancing me repetively when we're a distance apart, finding opportunities to make us have super close body contact (he never does this to anyone else), and sending off messages to me indicating that i'm a higher priority to him than another girl. I was always confused, but i put those things as part of his means of being friends. I liked him too though, but i was really holding on to the friends feeling between us. But instead of feeling like we're friends, it simply felt we were just secretly liking each other. And 'being friends' was just a substitute world for liking without being open to it. Yet he simply claims we're friends, nothing else.
Then something happened that made me realize the lie.
One day he suddenly changed for no reason at all. He stopped doing all those indicators of liking me romantically, but at the same time it seemed like our friendship was gone. And i have no reason why this happened, what went wrong with us. He doesn't want to tell me. I honestly cant recall anything ive done to even make one valid reason why he would suddenly change like this.
I found out he changed but the way he'd go cold on me on purpose, and when i talked to him about how we should talk more in real life. Normally he wouldve been very agreeable and cooperative to talks like this. But that day, he simply responded in a very rejecting matter. Then we ended in a fight.. and i still have no idea why he flipped at what i said. Later on i found out that he told his friend that it's because he thinks i'm trying to hit on him by talking to him about talking more in real life, so he wants to keeps our distance. When i found out, I told him taht it wasnt like that repetitively until it sank inside of him and made him believe it. Yet he was still avoiding me- obviously indicating that it wasn't the real reason.
I predicted the reason why he simply turned like this is because he doenst like me anymore.
The past when he claimed we were friends, was simply a lie. We can't be friends.. Is it just not possible for them to deal? At these kind of situations, is it only possible taht we either be someone they like or someone they dont like? They cant deal with seeing us as purely friends? THey could only see us as an association for liking? As someone who likes them, someone who they like back? Nothing more
Is that true? : /
Cuz why then though? Why do i have to be those people in his eyes? Why can't we just be normal? Have simpler problems not complicated ones that i dont even have a share in controlling? Normal friends dont have problems, they can talk to each other easier, joke around and be happy without worrying about so many problems.. They're not like us. We have problems even talking in real life..
Have you guys met these kinda people? People who are motivated by themselves, by his own world, by his own thoughts. They don't tell you anything, they dont even tell you why they do the things they do. It's like you're not part of their world.
You could just sit here forever not saying or doing anything, and they'd change from one person to another.. to another. They suddenly come up to you and tell you they like you- and it wouldnt even be because you've done anything. And then they suddenly move away and avoid you- and it woudlnt even be about you either.
So problematic...
So honestly, when people have a history together.. it's impossible for them to become purely friends?
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Posted by Do1Ce on 2008-10-04 06:18:19 | Rating: | Views: 65
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I'm not sure it is possible. I dated someone but I ended it because I had really strong feelings for him that I just knew he couldn't return. After a few months of no contact, we tried to be "friends" but I was still crazy about him and I am sure it was obvious. I secretly hoped the friendship would develop into something more. He eventually said something really rude to me and we no longer speak. It is my opinion that, unless both people are on the exact same page, a friendship between them is impossible.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-10-04 20:20:44
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