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| Using pure love to recover worthiness
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"Remember about the new girl in your school that you told me you like" the mom of Jose Carlos said to Jose Carlos.
"Yes", it was more than a "like", Jose Carlos knew it, in fact, he dreamed about her and referred to her as his princess before even knowing she was real.
"Then, to stop thinking about sexual things; think about her purity, sweetness, smile, think about how she makes you feel, let that pure feeling erase the others that disturb you”
Carlos Cuauhtemoc is a really good Spanish writer; I personally like his book “My Princess’ eyes” or “Los Ojos de mi Princesa”
I found myself in the same position as the main character, Jose Carlos. After watching a video in Youtube about “the serpent of light,” my curiosity about it increased and kept doing some research. Kundalini energy and Chakra were the next topics. What I found later, the seven energy centers or charkas (especially the reproductive one), lead me to erotic stuff and finally tempting me to pornography. It wasn’t the first time watching but It was indeed a long time ago.
It broke my spiritual balance. I couldn’t understand why I couldn't think at all afterwards. I am still not sure. Just yesterday, I felt to make some research on my “princess” (the girl I like or so many times mention in the other posts as “You”). I found out some interesting stuff about her graduation, two papers posted containing information about her speech. She is the valedictorian of her class. In the other hand, I am not even in the top twenties. I began to smile-laugh-chuckle while discovering the good choice that she made of being busy and the connection with her sweet speech. I am proud of her.
I know, I got a big crush. Many friends have told me, “you should go and talk to her about how you feel. If it doesn’t work out, at least, it’d be better for you to know than keep dreaming in wonder” or “if you love her, fight for her as a mad dog fights for its food”. The truth is, I would if my situation wouldn’t be so good to make up excuses.
And after all that thinking, I felt better. You are the girl that makes purity or that’s how I see it. I am a bit afraid of what I would find after meeting the real you but, I am still wanting to. Finally and for my relief, later that day I realized that we are not here to find balance at all but to become as Christ or perfect, it is not trying to make earth be heaven; earth has been created for us to become more like Christ, to develop godly manners, fail but learn, and make the effort for achieving them not to just sit, enjoy and relax until death arrives. I would get hurt many times but trials happen to make us grow, for our own good. I am thankful.
I have a new phobia though. It is about serpents. Good news is that I don’t feel like watching more pornography and feel stronger against it. I guess I still need to repent. A friend told me, “if it is about your worthiness, you should talk with your bishop”.
I am still wondering about Chakra stuff (I am asking so much right now).
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Posted by Dino01 on 2008-07-03 08:53:22 | Rating: | Views: 91
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Rock on Brother. You're moving in the right direction. Keep Christ as the focus man, Earth is what it is, but He's already given you the victory.
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Posted by Daegen
on 2008-07-03 15:36:05
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Thanks, it is fact that to be like Christ is my principal goal. This goal guarantees to obey the commandments like being loving and humble and also guarantees to eternal life. The perfect goal for a Christian.
Have a nice day!
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Posted by Dino01
on 2008-07-03 22:32:57
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