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The saga of my Wild Child- the twin inside my soul fighting for power.
A sequel to my last entry.
She escapes sometimes you know?
I said I only let her have her way once before, but, I have come to realize, that she needs no permission to surface.
I should rephrase my previous statement in my last entry, I only went along with her schemes once before.
Meaning, I was in full agreement with her.
Metaphors to describe my internal struggles.
I will call this part of myself....The Wild Child.
She surely walks right out of my heart when she wants to.
She sometimes has a mind of her own.
She pouts for her own way.
I do not always have a choice in the matter.
Yet, I do control my body.
She can only dominate my thought life.
She is like a spoiled rotten child.
I literally give her spankings in spirit!
Scripture calls this war....Flesh vs. Spirit.
My Native American Culture, calls it....the War of the Wolves.
A fight to the end.
The only way to truly conquer her, is to meet my maker.
Many prayers said
Many days of fasting
Many good intentions
Yet, she struts herself like a prancing princess.
She gives me many ideas, that I do not agree with, yet my soul still entertains her wild ideas.
We both share this soul of mine.
Equal footing in thought.
Yet, I am stronger in the flesh.
I am the tomboy of the two of us.
I can kick her butt...if you will.
Though her wild ways rage in my heart and mind...I can still tie her down...but she has a reverse gag order...I cannot shut her up.
Sometimes I wish she would keep walking right out of my heart.
Yet, I spend many hours, pondering her thought life.
She is the fancy part of me...dolled up...smiling pretty.
Sassy as all hell.
She does have her expression in my life, to a very severe point.
Yet, I get to make the final decision.
Or so I think.
No wonder so many people feel like they are going insane.
I fully believe the parables of the wolves and the flesh vs. spirit fight.
Some people get confused and really believe that someone else is living inside of them.
Sort of like the skit....of the angel and devil....sitting on each shoulder...whispering what we should do.
Truly, my Wild Child, is a lil' devil.
I....am the Angel. (sweetly smiling)
The good fight.
Hmm.
I have starved her as well, yet, she likes being skinny.
Blame it on Hollywood.
All kidding aside....we all have a good fight to WIN.
Fight well my friends.
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Posted by DifficultSoul on 2008-02-28 03:00:28 | Rating: | Views: 157
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I think the fight can be good for us sometimes.
Sometimes i feel like we should give in to the innerself but then I realise i can't for the sake of hurting others.
The fighting can either keep you sane or drive you insane, depending on how you let it work.
Great post again DS.xx
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Posted by bubblydi
on 2008-02-28 03:27:48
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Great Post DifficultSoul! I think we all must have a "wild child" inside us somewhere...and those who wear it on the outside have their "sweet child" inside. Human beings are very complex creatures, yet fundamentally we all need the same thing, to feel desired, loved and wanted. God Bless!
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Posted by keepdreaming
on 2008-02-28 10:16:28
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bubblydiane-...
The fight- is part of human nature.
It makes us realize the whole of human existence.
God and Life..are truly paradoxical.
I give in to my inner self, in many ways.
In ways that are safe.
Like dancing in a wild way, or dressing up and just enjoying it.
I have given in to that part of me, where it hurts others, and in that, have hurt myself as well.
I am still working on combining the two to live in harmony.
As of yet, both want the lead vocal.
I love you my angel.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-28 11:45:40
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Keepdreaming-..
I like how you expressed it.
I think we all must have a "wild child" inside us somewhere...and those who wear it on the outside have their "sweet child" inside.
So true.
We have all at times showed both sides of our souls.
When one reigns, the other is suppressed.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-28 11:50:27
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How right you are about us all having a wild child inside us. But the strange thing is that even as we get older that wild child doesn't age.
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Posted by bede
on 2008-02-28 16:30:42
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Slowly but surely i think i am winning my fight, but then it makes me think of these women who have supposedly 'let themselves go' ie: dont worry about their appearance any more,don't go out partying or doing the odd rebelious thing anymore, does that mean that they have lost or won the fight with the wild woman inside them, or are some of us supposed to be the wild, untameable one on the outside, and then the wise and sensible one is their inner fighter, desperate for release?
do we first have to define which one we are before we decide which one will win..(i am starting to confuse myself here)
do you know what i mean Miss J? i'm not sure if i explained it right x
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Posted by missmarie
on 2008-02-28 17:31:13
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missmarie-..
You do not realize what you have inspired in me with your dream.
It may look like now, that I am totally against our wild sides.
Yet, we must embrace our whole self in order to find peace.
My next series of entries are going to be on this very subject.
Making us all look deeper into our God given human psyche.
Our wild sides have a purpose.
Thanks for the great comment.
It has given me much to contemplate.
I love you Miss Z...
Just know, you admire my wild side, you should surely admire your own.
Even our angel side can become complacent and make our lives boring, causing us to let ourselves go.
I am excited to write my next entry.
It has a twist.
Love you
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-28 19:23:54
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bede-..
Good point..speaking from experience, my wild child is an eleven year old going on 17.
Part of me refuses to grow up.
Maybe that is why I pout and want my own way.
Surely, God still loves us, even our wild side- he does embrace, as we embrace our own children in their immaturity.
It feels good to be wild at times.
Yet, my angel side, keeps my wild child in line,....most of the time.
Good to see you again bede.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-28 19:35:26
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Hi Chester.
You should see my wild sea monkeys.
My monkeys can beat up your sea monkeys.
hehe!!!
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-29 16:50:44
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