| View Blog
|
|
|
Dear Body,
Heavy thoughts that you let yourself have?
Thoughts that leave you desolate in spirit.
Thoughts of worry
thoughts of things that will never be
other thoughts still in denial of soul
I ask a question- my thoughts, your thoughts, our thoughts, or just random wavelengths of idea- floating in the air?
Is it really our thought if we do not agree with it?
Or is there a black hole of "thoughts" somewhere that releases them to test our spirits?
Ideas that have no proper place, yet, my mind makes a home for them.
Every image I have ever taken into my eyes, is forever captured in picture image in my head.
I have experienced so much, through thought alone.
Helping what I think?
I can mold it, but have no control over what is deposited there, apart from what I directly put in my memory.
Into my thought life, I retreat to .....or escape from...from what?
Sometimes, the unwelcomed ideas, are the ones that force me make hard life decisions.
They force me to question what I have been letting run through my head.
I am shocked- with some of the things that I think about.
Keeping diaries of my thought life, has changed me.
That is the only way I can describe it.....I am changed.
Spiritual Evolution
I have seen in myself, what I have been looking for all of my life.
Someone to understand me.
Even my misunderstanding, sheds light on wisdom that guides me to peace, in all things.
The most seemingly tragic times in my life, have been the times that I took life changing actions.
Rites of Passage
Rebellious Heart....fighting for the right to live its own way.
Random thoughts....built up from days of hiding from myself.
Trying to ignore myself, is simply-impossible.
Trying to manipulate my feelings, putting on my stage makeup, for one last performance.
I know the words, to keep it all hidden.
Purging of the soul....ridding myself of feelings...that I do not want to have.
Does it really make them go away?
Once released- in word....my feelings become...tangible...maybe then,. to be satisfied in their nagging glory.
Just leave me alone now....
I should have a choice, on how to feel....truth is....I only manage feelings...rebellious entity they are.....
Feelings can be Tamed....I have tamed many.
Tame Me?
Never
A tame heart is a weak heart...we were meant to be free.
You cried...
Cry..A spiritual raindance (sarcastic smile)..?
Weak tears..
I hate tears in myself, I can empathize with others...but for me to cry?
It makes me angry when I cry.
Letting emotions get the best of me many times, has been the best life lesson.
I regret weak...
Cry over stupid feelings?
Why should I?
If I romanticize them, they only make me smile jadedly, no pain involved.
No Strings of Pain...
Hardening of Heart is not always a bad thing.
To harden it so it is still breakable-only fragile for the deserving.
Come out of hiding...nothing is hidden anyway.
Your secrecy of mind...is a mirage.
Into that secret place...
You went to spend your penance...it is spent.
You are forgiven for being human, and having feelings.
Feel better now?
I do.
Sincerely,
Soul
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul on 2008-04-09 16:47:43 | Rating: | Views: 171
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
This is a really gread post DS. I will often be up all night thinking about this or that. Sometimes it scares me the things I think about. Yet it is comforting to know that our thoughts are our own. They are only reveiled to others when we decide to make it that way. I find great comfort in this.
|
|
Posted by ReD_MooN
on 2008-04-09 21:35:46
|
|
|
|
|
Unbreakable...fragile only to the deserving. I love that. I love you. I love how you put things into perspective for me.
|
|
Posted by smilinirisheyes
on 2008-04-10 15:26:54
|
|
|
|
|
That was really great. I feel the same way as you about crying. Everything you write is so neat. It always touches something inside of me.
|
|
Posted by Faith
on 2008-04-10 20:15:06
|
|
|
|
|
Being human isn't so bad as long as we don't get too indulgent with it. Crying is supposed to be good for us, I guess I'll have to try it sometime. Great post, LftH.
|
|
Posted by Pauligan
on 2008-04-13 07:38:21
|
|
|
|
Paul-..
Some crying is good for you.
Crying that changes nothing, is worthless.
Crying has only two purposes, one is to release pain, the other, to release joy.
If you already cried painful tears, and it changed nothing, crying more hurtful tears, is a waste of time, and a form of self punishment.
Self pitying tears poisons our souls.
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-04-13 22:36:02
|
|
|
|
Greenersky-..
Does your soul need some understanding?
I can identify.
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-04-13 22:37:15
|
|
|
|
Faith-..
It is my pleasure to reach you deep within.
That is where real life is.
Peace.
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-04-13 22:38:14
|
|
|
|
smilinirisheyes-...
Fragile we are...Unbreakable our spirits can be.
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-04-13 22:41:50
|
|
|
|
ReDMooN..
Our thoughts are not all that private if you think about it.
We all being human...know the kind of thoughts we ourselves have.
I am convinced, we all think along the same patterns.
So, at your age my dear, I may not know your exact thoughts..but I surely have an idea where they are aimed.
Peace.
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-04-13 22:47:04
|
|
|
|
I love you Miss J, i don't know what to say to this..me speachless?? never ha!
i'll be back x
|
|
Posted by missmarie
on 2008-04-18 17:01:24
|
|
|
|
missmarie-....Still have no comment?
I like speechless.
One of my favorite comments.
Really..when I see speechless.
I glow.
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-04-23 21:39:47
|
|
|
|
ok, the reason i was speachless is because i see myself in almost everything you have written here, other than the fact that i cry randomly on a daily basis, its because i am empathic, it drives me nuts, but you get used to it he he
anyway, i often wonder, when i supress thought after thought, what i would be like if i acted on every thought i had, hmm, well the thoughts i seem to push away the most are passionate ones, i seem to decide how i should feel about something and then if my heart or mind tries to argue i push it further and further back,
the other thoughts i push away are guilty ones, as i know alot of them aren't mine (empathy again grrr) and if i allowed them to they would keep me awake every night of my life (and i have enough already to keep me awake-not naughty things-well not always he he)
anyway, these things that burn inside me, i could never act on them, it would make me selfish and probably(perhaps) unfaithful, at least in mind anyway
now i am talking about it, my mind is buzzing, the thoughts have seen an opportunity to have a little freedeom.
Is there a way to rid our hearts and minds of these thoughts? do we try to figure out which ones we act apon? (leaving us little time to actually live)
Or
Do we/I accept the fact that my wild days are over, you, Miss J, know a little of my past, and i have had a damn good time of it, but, a big part of me feels that it isnt time to end those feelings, it is very hard to fulfill those thoughts when you are in a grown up relationship, with priorities and commitments, so what do we do?
Give up on our passions? ignore our instincts and wants, tell the ego to p**s off and let us settle into adulthood/middle age?
I love the simple things in life, i truly do, they make me happy, but the other stuff, i really don't know how to deal with it or live with it all!
Loving the simple life i lead, yet yearning for the things i used to have, does that mean i am two people living inside me? i know about the wolves, but if you don't feed them both from time to time, the hungry one will become more savage and wild before it finally starves to death, like cold turkey i guess, but is it fair to kill of a part of yourself that has at some point made us very happy?
Answer that miss J, he he
i love you xx
|
|
Posted by missmarie
on 2008-04-24 07:39:44
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry if i stopped you glowing he he x
|
|
Posted by missmarie
on 2008-04-24 07:40:20
|
|
|
|
|
|
