| Soul Mate Lovers |
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We have had the wrong idea about Soul Mates for a very long time.
It has been perceived that a Soul Mate is one who we were destined to be with, that there is only one in the whole universe for us to behold.
I used to think that was the definition for that catchy phrase as well, but through trial and error, I found it not to be true, in the sense of the original Soul Mate term.
A true Soul Mate is someone that we open our hearts up to.
It is someone we allow ourselves to fall in love with.
Someone that we let ourselves be vulnerable with.
When we are truly in love with someone, they have the power to rip our hearts into pieces.
So many heartbreaks.
"Oh, don't mention Love, I cannot take the pain and strain of it again",
that is some of our attitudes in life and love.
It kind of hurts to be in love, truly-being in love is a pleasureable pain.
Have you ever heard anyone say, "I am not ready to settle down?"
What they really mean, is they are not ready to let themselves be vulnerable with anyone.
They prefer sex without love, because, surely we all crave sexual intimacy in life.
Some never allow themselves to have a soul connection with anyone.
The forever singles in the world, would rather be alone, and use sex as a bodily function, than to be vulnerable to a broken heart.
Being in love really does have a switch, that you can turn on and off.
When I left my husband for a year, I locked the door of my heart, on love.
I truly chose not to be in love with him for a period, because he could hurt me, he could mess with my heart.
I tried dating others, yet, I kept my heart closed with a gigantic padlock of protection against being in love.
Flirting and being in love are oceans apart in meaning.
We all love to know that someone is attracted to us, and some of us live on that high alone, instead of letting ourselves leap into the ocean of sexual love.
Sometimes, we are on the other end of it, some of us never find another that will fully open their hearts to us.
So many miss out on being in love, because of, shut off, closed hearts.
Soul Mate literally means that you mate with someone's soul.
It holds intimate thought with another, it consists more of just a sexual encounter.
There are many people having sex today, but only a rare few - are making love.
Making Love, is sex, with a connection of mind and soul.
Love Making- Soul Mates, make love not only in body, but they penetrate each other's thoughts, and hearts.
SOUL MATES:
They allow themselves to need one another.
They allow themselves to miss one another.
They allow themselves to think of a future together.
They allow themselves to confide in each other.
They allow themselves to turn sex into a love expression, not just a libido pleaser.
They allow themselves to fall in love with each other, that is where lusty sexual desire, turns into Making Love.
If you have not found a Soul Mate Lover, it may just have something to do with your attitude.
My once rebellious attitude, turned my soul mate into an enemy.
I found my way through the dark of my broken heart, and flipped the light switch of romantic love to the ON position.
Magically my enemy lover who was in the dark, suddenly appeared before my very eyes, and was bathed in the light of love.
Your soul mate, is who you let yourself fall in love with.
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Posted by DifficultSoul on 2008-01-19 18:34:06 | Rating: | Views: 856
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Posted by
bubblydi
on 2008-01-19 18:41:41 |
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Extremely well written DS.
I used to think that i had found my soulmate, now i am not too sure.
Maybe soulmates hit bumpy ground every now and then.xx |
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Posted by
brainstormer
on 2008-01-19 18:58:44 |
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| I swear she wrote this before. Ive heard more than enough of the same thing...and everything alike just makes it harder to breath and go on. I dont know what to think, but I'd rather think of one person as a true soul mate than think every person I fall for is one. And, I know alot of people who call something love before it lasts are the same who will say they found their soul mate and end up in a break up between a few months and a few years later...and then become so bitter because they lost a soul mate instead of just breaking up with a crush/infatuation. Lessen the blow by telling yourself it's not a soul mate til you make the vow...and even then, looking at the rate of break ups these days, I cannot put much faith in marriage. I think I will be with a woman for a long time before I commit to the word and deed. |
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Posted by
SympatheticStargazer
on 2008-01-19 19:10:49 |
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I think you expressed yourself very well! I know everyone has their own interpertation of what certain things mean. I like how you expressed and I can relate to a lot of it. Sweet!
Love the song too! |
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Posted by
ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-01-19 22:38:15 |
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| Great post DS ... There are many theories out there in regard to soul mates, as the comments are showing. I personally believe one can have many soul mates in the course of a life time. Even having two or more soul mates in one's life at the same time. I also believe that the term "soul mate" doesn't have to apply to a sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I was very close and considered myself a soul mate to my girlfriend, "L", who died of breast cancer. Quite some time ago I read an article (I don't remember where) about a young woman who lost her husband and soul mate on 9/11. She was of the belief that life could hold only one soul mate. She made up her mind that she would spend the rest of her life alone. To her great surprise another soul mate entered her life and she found love and happiness again. She was so surprised that one of her core beliefs had been wrong she wrote an article about it. Excuse me the light is very dim in here ... I think I see the shadow of someone ... I'm off to turn the switch of romantic love to the "ON" position. Peace & Love |
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Posted by
loveBITES
on 2008-01-20 02:04:47 |
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Some never allow themselves to have a soul connection with anyone.
I'm beginning to wonder if this is me now because of previous scarring of the heart.
What you write is beautiful... it's a love that I truely want but am so damn scared I'd have put myself on the line again and again... So nobody really gets all of me - and I don't get all of them... No wonder it can't work!
Where's that switch?
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Posted by
gonga
on 2008-01-20 05:14:59 |
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wow. that was exactly what i needed to read rightnow.
hard times. good blog. everything might click now.
that was such a good post.
i agree with everything you said in it.
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Posted by
Sexyback
on 2008-01-20 07:40:38 |
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Thank you for leaving such sweet words，It's wonderful to have you around.
May we all live with Love in our hearts.
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Posted by
Rainbow
on 2008-01-20 12:21:12 |
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Words of wisdom as always. Some people believe that a soul mate is someone of the opposite sex who is alot like you in many ways. Others believe that it can be either sex. Me I am not too sure how it goes. Maybe I will try to do a little research on the subject to get a better understanding. Great post does give me something to think about.
JR |
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Posted by
whiteknight
on 2008-01-20 12:56:08 |
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| And who you fall in love with despite the fact that every logical bone in your body says NO...and then that love teaches your heart to yell over your head |
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Posted by
scotslad60
on 2008-01-20 17:03:01 |
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Great post DS. I believe in soul mates. I always have, and now I have the proof! That switch is turned on.
Namaste |
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Posted by
DRAKON
on 2008-01-20 23:03:53 |
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| WOW!!!...That was so beautifull....And so honest....I dont think that i would ever be able to express myself with such clarity as you have done!....Take Care D.S. XXX. |
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Posted by
brainstormer
on 2008-01-20 23:09:59 |
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The problem I still have with anyone saying there is more than one soul mate and thus the misuse of the words "true love" and "this is the one I was meant to be with" is that it makes me feel like I am watching Deal or No Deal. A person picks a case saying they are confident it has the million dollars in it. As soon as the million is knocked off, they go from one prize to the next til they are downtrodden to whatever low prize they come away with. And, that seems to be how this world accepts relationships. It's either a quick win/one nighter/rare love at first sight with a quick nuptuals...or it's a hail mary pass try for the long haul after some period of courting, and the odds seem stacked against the latter. And, it makes me sick to see someone come out of a commited relationship and go into another one with any genuine belief in the later one being truer than the first/former. "This is the one...no? No, this is the one....NO? No, really, this third one; this is the one."
I don't know if I mentioned it before elsewhere, but my sister is getting married in April, and I have no joy or confidence in the whole thing. I cant see spending all that money and fuss on something that is not guaranteed. I guess my faith has been spoiled/tarnished by reality. I wish I could fix that. Anyone wanna help? Like maybe a few million happy marriages til death do you part for a change? Not til the day you get tired of it do you part. Not til the sex and booze on the couch don't cut it anymore do you part.
Oh, and hello, Sympathetic sagittarius sheep:)
And, what is with the sexy pics on profile?:P Some of you people have brains in yer pants? No offense, but... |
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Posted by
wishingwell
on 2008-01-21 00:04:08 |
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I fell in love with someone that I didn't even like in the beginning. It was totally unexpected. By the time I realized I was in love, there was nothing I could do to get out of it.
Shortly after my realization he broke my heart in the worst way. I was never given the opportunity to experience the joy of being in love, the painful part was all I felt.
If I had it to do all over again, I would rather I had never experienced being in love. I would rather I never meeting him at all.
God bless those who have true soul mates. Cherish it. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-21 01:46:22 |
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BubblyDiane-..
It is up to you how far you will let yourself go for someone.
Love is a choice.
You choose to love someone. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-21 02:14:11 |
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brainstormer-..
I am really sorry that I have struck some nerve in you.
You do not seem to like me much.
I have written about Soul Mates before, but I mostly write for my own spiritual seeking, and my theories form through writing all I have learned, into mesh pieces. Paraphrasing myself, if you may.
What you call redundant, I call-...Transforming my Mind......
I coin spiritual phrases that mean something to me, and I quote myself frequently.
They are my mantras.
Through my writings, I am forming my Philosophy on Life.
I am not really here to entertain, or have some great reading material for everyone each day.
I write in this journal, to express my very soul.
My "so called" sexy picture is just me smiling for a picture.
If you think it is sexy, then that is your thinking, your perspective.
You find that picture sexy, I was just being me.
Being in Love is a choice.
Yes, be wise, and tread on love carefully.
Many people do just want the sex.
Hearts get broken like that.
It sounds like you have one.
As for me thinking with brains in my pants, yes, you are right.
I think God has everything to do with our sexual desires.
He made us to be sexual beings.
You can deny it, but I know this, we all think with brains in our pants.
How do you think the human race survives?
Through procreation.
SEX.
Sex is not dirty, only people's attitudes about it, make it dirty.
Peace.
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-21 02:18:13 |
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hibernating-..
Yin and Yang is right.
We all need that other one, the one, who makes you feel like being YOU.
Peace. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-21 02:20:44 |
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SympatheticstarGazer-....
Thank you for the energy filled comment.
It had good vibes mixed in with it.
I can feel your happy heart through your words.
Peace. |
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Posted by
Icesoul
on 2008-01-21 04:08:36 |
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Love in the world purify anything dark and unpleasant.
Love is a weapon by which you can alway escape from being grap by guilt and regret.
I love to leave a corner in my heart for love.It pride me with continual light.That's why i can survive. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-21 04:42:43 |
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Scarboroughfair-..
Sometimes it takes hard times, to really appreciate what we have with someone.
Certain people are like that, such as, if that person were not in your life, then we would have to paint a whole new picture in our mind of a "New Reality."
Love is not to be taken for granted.
It is sacred. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-21 04:45:51 |
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ColoradoDreamin-..
Soul Mates, Kindred Spirits.
Where Love resides, so does a spiritual connection.
Sex is a fleshly gratification, it feeds our carnal desires.
Love, feeds the soul.
Love has no boundaries.
Peace. |
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Posted by
missmarie
on 2008-01-21 07:33:18 |
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Personally i believe that we each have many soul mates, someone who we have a past connection with, an unexplainable link that we feel with a person when we meet and conect, and feel asthough we have known each other for a lifetime or more.
I feel that i am lucky enough to have fallen head over heals with one of my soul mates, and plan to spend the rest of my life with him.
womderful post as usual DS
love you xx |
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Posted by
Icesoul
on 2008-01-21 10:05:24 |
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marie:
It's so good that you have find your soulmate and you can spend the rest time of your life with him. |
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Posted by
Icesoul
on 2008-01-21 14:39:17 |
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| Ds,i love you for what you expressed in the reply to brainstormer. |
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Posted by
Icesoul
on 2008-01-21 14:40:49 |
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| I have so much to learn from you Ds. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-21 16:42:28 |
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loveBites-..
It is inside of your will.
You have to literally will your self to truly let yourself fall for someone this hard.
Falling in Love is a beautiful way to die.
It literally feels like the death of you, and the creating of a new form, no longer just you in your spirtual realm, now you have two, you and the one you love.
It is a soul emerging.
It is something that truly just clicks in you heart when you want to be in love with someone.
You can either, embrace that feeling, and nurture it.
Or you can ignore it, and desensitize yourself, to the idea of -"Needing Someone.
Nobody wants to need anyone anymore!
That is why there are so many lonely people in the world.
No one wants to be vulnerable.
They think they are protecting themselves from pain, when all a long, the loneliness was far more painful, than the broken heart might have been.
Live and Love
Peace |
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Posted by
thelittleboyinside
on 2008-01-21 19:32:22 |
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| your heart speaks so well... |
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Posted by
Rajah1116
on 2008-01-22 10:26:41 |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 11:44:59 |
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gonga-..
Thank you, I needed to write it.
We all need to be reminded what true love really is.
We have all been hanging on to infatuation for far too long.
Our souls cry out-for- Love- in the purest form.
Peace. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 12:44:48 |
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Sexyback-..
It feels very warm hearted, to be appreciated.
Love Always...to you. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 12:58:01 |
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Rainbow-..
It is always good to have something to think about.
To think is to Live.
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 13:01:34 |
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Whiteknight-...
Love does make screaming echoes of completley absurd moanings, hauntings that say, "my heart hurts, I love you so much."
The pain of it, the beauty of it.
Peace. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 13:08:13 |
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ADIDAS-...
Start giving out what you want.
If you want commitment- live a commitment.
If you want caring and longing- care for and let your heart long for one.
If you want sexual intimacy and passion-love and live in open heartedness, and faithfulness.
If you want someone there each day, as you come in from life- be there for someone.
Love really is a karma game.
You really do, eventually reap what you sow, ...good and bad.
Keep searching, it is part of life's search.
We are all seeking for love.
Someone to adore us.
You have to adore, to be adored.
Peace. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 13:11:34 |
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DRAKON-..Thank you.
What a day brightener your comment was.
I felt that one!!
Peace. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 18:21:06 |
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wishingwell-..
I had a broken heart, for a very long time.
I know what you mean, it hurts so bad, that if you could, you would- forget it.
That beautiful pain is almost too much to bare at times.
But to never have loved at all?
hmmm
I do not think I could give up the memories.
Those heart broken days, are a passion in my art.
I am a strange one, I actually love the nostalgia of life, the melancholy longings.
To remember the pain filled days, is putting the good days into sharper focus. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 18:28:39 |
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Icesoul-
Like my comebacks do you?
Good.
I am kind of sweet on them myself.
Love is a wonderous thing.
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 18:32:41 |
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missmarie-..
Sweet Marie, cherish what you have.
To really love someone, is just a simple choice, to love, is to mate in soul.
Bubbles ...candles...mystery dreams.
It is all about the soul.
To experience love, in our souls.
That is the Ultimate Human Utopia. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 18:35:13 |
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thelittleboyinside-..
Out of the heart will flow the issues of life.
Thank you -for your sincere words. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 18:37:03 |
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Rajah-..
Thank you.
It is nice to see you.
I have not been out in the forums, very much lately.
Thanks for stopping by. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-22 18:39:31 |
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Scotslad60-..
I am glad in heart, about the love you have found.
Always cherish it, it may only come along once in a life time.
Namaste. |
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Posted by
Pauligan
on 2008-01-22 19:40:44 |
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SOUL MATES:
They allow themselves to need one another.
They allow themselves to miss one another.
They allow themselves to think of a future together.
They allow themselves to confide in each other.
They allow themselves to turn sex into a love expression, not just a libido pleaser.
They allow themselves to fall in love with each other, that is where lusty sexual desire, turns into Making Love.
Under your definition of soulmate, we would not be soulmates. I beg to differ, but it is only my opinion. xx |
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Posted by
brainstormer
on 2008-01-23 00:50:09 |
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I'm sorry. It seems unless you have LOVE to share, then anything else is unwelcome and problematic. I get this overwhelming feeling everywhere I go...and pardon me for having a cynical and/or analytical mind. I scrutinize everything. I think(too) much. Such is me. Deal with it. I didn't comment to pour acid rain on the love fest. I didn't come to knock your wishing stars out of the sky. I didn't come to leave poo at your doorsteps. I just gave my opinion.
Not only do people seem to request ONLY loving/supportive comments to their posts but they don't seem to realize that even though they do these posts as some sort of private release...um, this is a public place? You might as well be talking to yourself in a public bathroom stall. And, if someone walks in, hears you and says something? Are you going to send them packing just because you set yourself up for that? Get a clue, okay? And, learn to take the good with the bad. But, I totally understand if you want a "thread" of purely love-dripping statements to create a powerful "mantra" of love energy you can go back to for reflection. If you make another post with this intent--and let it be known that such comments are all you wish to see in writing--I will shut up and leave it be.
Also, I was not directing the "sexy pic" comment at your pic, DS...however, I will admit you are an attractive woman. That is all. There were other posters who had sexy pics that I was referring to. Same goes for the comment about brains in the pants--not for you.
Now that you bring up sex and procreation, let me just say this. You can think of it as natural or as beautiful as you want to keep the love energy flowing, but truth be told...the world is running out of resources...there are many places that are OVERpopulated and/or overrun with poverty and dying children...there are many mothers left alone with children going to the extreme of killing their own children out of desperation. I'd say sex is just a lil out of control...or can we put a lovely spin on all of that? What is a more optimistic term for overpopulation? For STDs? For single mother homicide?
Think about it.
One more thing. Wishingwell, be careful you don't get so bitter that you cannot let someone else into your heart. You seem very upset by your experience--and I can imagine the feeling--but I hope in time the wound will heal. I wish I had a quicker solution. MissMarie made a comment about soul mates as being those we make connections with. I have a few people in mind whom could fit that description. People who have impacted me. At least two who I wish I could have a loving relationship with, but it never came to pass(crap happenned). Still, they linger in memory. But, I don't know how I will feel/think of them when I find lasting love with some woman. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-23 00:57:58 |
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Pauligan-...
We are kindred spirits Paul.
Friends through all things. |
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Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2008-01-23 01:03:05 |
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brainstormer-..
I did take the good with the bad.
I let you have your peace.
This is a public diary, and I thrive on that, yet I still mainly write in here, as if I AM talking to myself.
It is just my style of writing.
Yes- it drips with honey laced words, and love mantras-but that is the way I like it.
You feel free any time to come by and comment.
I do not mind a lil' debate, and conflict, if it is fair, and stable.
You give an intelligent answer, I respect it.
I will warn you now, you might not want to come back and read me again for awhile.
I have a whole Dr. Ruth with a spiritual twist coming on.
Lots of sex and how we feel about it, how we deal with it.
It might be a bit too racy for your taste.
So, just know, I have a clue.
I take no offense to your opinion, it is yours to have.
I can't win them all, I can only be me.
Peace. |
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Posted by
Pauligan
on 2008-01-23 04:58:45 |
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| Well, I wasn't going to comment on this post. My heart was telling me not to and now I know why. We should always listen to our hearts. |
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Posted by
missmarie
on 2008-01-23 12:48:31 |
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| Brainstormer, i think that maybe you have sex on the brain, when i refer to there being more than one soul mate i didn't say anything about taking them all as lovers and passing one over for the next, soul mates are friends, relatives anyone in this world tha we feel that conection with, i myself have many soul mates and i have only had sexual relations with one of them, but if you want to assume that a soul mate is only for the use of a loving full on relation ship then that is your choice, i think that maybe you would like to make sure that you understand what someone is saying before you relpy x |
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Posted by
spinningreflection
on 2008-01-23 16:59:33 |
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DS, this is an amazing post!! (Hmm... i feel like all of my comments to you start off that way! ;) Again, brought tears to my eyes not only because of how true I believe what you say is, and how beautifully you have written this, but also because of how I relate to certain things that you have said.
I can't believe that I would ever truly say this outloud (or write it for that matter...) but I believe that I have more than one soul mate. One is a love that was "lost" as if that does it justice. I know that you've read many of my ramblings in the past :) and I am referring to that love lost (this is why I hate to admit it). I believe that he was a soul mate of mine. Even though he tore me apart... the level that we were on together emotionally, mentally, physically, the way that we fit (okay, minus the jealousy and jacka$$ part of him...hmmm...maybe I'm wrong about him being one haha!) But really, I completely agree with what you say. Another person that I consider to be a soul mate is one of my best girlfriends. Not a lover... a friend... chosen family.
I do have someone that I love. But I fear that I will never reach that "soul mate" feeling with him. He's wonderful. But... knowing what it feels like to be there... and not be there now definitely puts me off to say the least. Then again, maybe that is just because like you said, all that pain that I endured loving this person, it is not so easy for me to put all of myself out there. Not so easy to "believe".... I'm sorry for rambling, you definitely got my head going!! :)
As always, thank you for sharing your words! |
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Posted by
niceley123
on 2008-01-23 21:08:39 |
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