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 My Diary
A bleeding heart.

An emotional release?

Why do I come here, to write out my most personal feelings?

Maybe it is the need to express myself.

I love to express emotional pain and love the most.

It is my melancholy passion.

We all have that need- to be known.

Some people will go to outrageous lengths..to be noticed.

That surely justifies my need to write down my thoughts.

The strange need to let people roam around in the depths of my mind.

I still get a kick out of the fact, that others like to read my thoughts.

I have kept a diary for most of my life.

I write in this journal like I would in my paper diary.

I just start typing out what I feel.

Sometimes it turns into a love note to God...

Sometimes, some odd -prose to life and love....oh do not forget ... my endless odes to.....pain.

I love to let my heart bleed before total strangers.

Oh...the need to be validated in life.

Have you heard anyone say..."I want to be someone when I grow up?"

We are someone silly!

I have met many people in my life, and truly, we are all unique.

I come here mostly, to get into people's heads.

By letting you into mine, you let me into yours.

To be in the mind of someone else.

So many have the need to get out of their own heads....

It is pure pleasure, and freeing, to get into someone else's reality for a minute.

It makes us have a better perspective on life.

Peeking into someone else's existence.

Well, peek away,...my existence consists of not trying to be so smart all of the time....

And to enjoy life.

I come here to my diary, to just let my thoughts flow...

I am a thinker, and if I do not release these lovely expressions of life- I may just cry.

I have been working on some paintings....

I like to paint some strange things.

I also like to paint nude people.

Nude people in strange spiritually symbolic- scenes.

I am thinking about sharing some of them.

They are just paintings of my thoughts.

It still tickles me that you would care to read my thoughts...

Bleeding Flowers...

Hmm

See what I mean?

I just had an idea for a painting.

I must sleep now...

I have my days and nights mixed up.

I like to paint at night...moody atmosphere.

I am covered in paint...and I have sleepy eyes.

You give me a place to bleed my heart.

We are all bleeding hearts...

Just needing to be loved.






    Posted by DifficultSoul on 2008-01-26 07:04:49 | Rating: | Views: 552
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It is a good feeling to lay our hearts out there and see who picks up on it. It feels good to express how we feel and actually get some feedback. It's like a declaration that we are somehow real. xx
Posted by  Pauligan  on 2008-01-26 07:11:04 
  
It is a blessed thing to just open up and lay your thoughts out there to share. It is a mark of a loving spirit i think. One who is willing to share from the very depths of their being and trust that the love they show will not go unnoticed. Blessings!
Posted by  Newname  on 2008-01-26 07:51:20 
  
Is it real?
Posted by  Icesoul  on 2008-01-26 09:25:16 
  
Have a nice sleep.
Posted by  Icesoul  on 2008-01-26 09:31:36 
  
you come here because so many people need you to. that's good enough rationale
Posted by  AllThingsBuck  on 2008-01-26 12:12:20 
  
I don't understand all this bleeding. When something bleeds it means you are wounded. You write of all this beautiful pain. I personaly don't think pain is beautiful. When we as people are in pain we usually try everything to get out of it. I understand the concept of being wounded and sharing hope with others that there is a way out of it.But to stay wounded and bask in it is not where I want to be. After storms there is always the rainbow. Yes we need to talk about it and work through it. But we have to allow ourselves to begin to heal.
Posted by  Twila  on 2008-01-26 12:24:29 
  
Even the bleeding heart flows and there will always be those who choose to go with that flow. You lead where they all need to be DS.

Namaste
Posted by  scotslad60  on 2008-01-26 13:05:00 
  
To her, it seems, bleeding is no different than painting. Pain(the cut or wound) is merely a consuming inspiration. It could be some sort of masochist habit(cutters and the like) or this might all just be whimsical poetry. Amazing how many of us flock to it like she was a pied-piper...a siren. Hallucinagenic drugs. Well, I for one hope to have a supply of ear wax and blindfolds at the ready:P Arrh!
Posted by  brainstormer  on 2008-01-26 14:58:10 
  
I also see a bit of a Carmen Electra in it all. The subtle show-n-tell in the spotlight. The look-but-don't-touch. A moth that will eat your wool clothes but looks so dazzling by the lamppost.
Posted by  brainstormer  on 2008-01-26 15:01:28 
  
Another masterpiece my friend!!
Posted by  smilinirisheyes  on 2008-01-26 16:30:12 
  
smilinirisheyes-..
Did I paint my thoughts well?
Good, I chose my favorite colors.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 21:59:31 
  
brainstormer-..
I do not cut myself, I like myself way too much for that.
Although, I am very interested in things like that.
I love to study emotions, especially deep painful ones.
Melancholy nostalgia, does bleed inspiration for me.
I truly embrace and see beauty in all things in life.
Mostly in emotional suffering of human beings.
I paint it up a pretty picture, so others can deal with it better.
Even the dramatic emotional times, are great scenes, in the movies.
Siren?
Nice of you to say...I have been sounding off for quite some time now.
I am glad someone finally has ears to listen.
Peace.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 22:04:24 
  
EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO ...I Hate You.
Posted by  Emo_Hater  on 2008-01-26 22:04:46 
  
Morrissey = Lame and/or Butt Sucking
Posted by  Emo_Hater  on 2008-01-26 22:14:38 
  
ElmoHater-..
I love Elmo!
What do you have against fuzzy red monsters?
hehe
I love you still.
And Morrissey is Beautiful.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 23:03:04 
  
scotslad60-..
My dramatic heart needs a stage.
My diary is it.
I get to play out all of my heart's secrets.
Namaste.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 23:05:15 
  
Twila-..
You just do not understand.
I do not expect you to.
I am in good spirits at all times.
There is beauty in all things in life.
I like the sunshine, the flowers, the birds, the bees, and the trees.
I love all of life.
Haven't you noticed that when you turn on the radio...most of the popular music is about a broken heart?
Movies are geared toward that scenario, as well.
I just find the- sunshine and shadows- equally as interesting.
Peace.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 23:09:55 
  
AllThingsBuck-..
Is that your way of saying that you need me?
How sweet.
That is good enough reason to come back.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 23:11:47 
  
Icesoul-..
I am awake now.
Pinch yourself.
Did you feel it?
If you did, then yes, this is real.
Sleep time is for dreaming, maybe I will see you there, dancing on the rainclouds.
Peace....
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 23:14:18 
  
Newname-..
We all have that odd need, don't we?
To share all of our intimate thoughts, with another.
It is our way of feeling complete.
To think and to love...is to live.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 23:18:08 
  
Pauligan-...
I declare...I am real.
Enough said.
A new mantra- for all of our journals.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-26 23:20:13 
  
I like the metaphor of being cut and bleeding....The cuts are the wounds that we inflict on ourselves and others souls , even when we do not mean too , especialy when we open up and let people in , and then we get scared.....And the blood is our emotions that we show people....We often hurt those that try and get close to us , because of our own insicurities....I have been guilty of this recently , and i have many regrets....But i am learning SLOWLY!....Great post....Take Care.
Posted by  WhindWhispers  on 2008-01-27 03:31:53 
  
You express so many feelings with your beautiful words in your posts.
So many people can relate to them, you are loved and needed by so many here,
Do not stop writing in your diary , ever,
Even those who say they do not like your words still come back for more so that says something, he he.
I love you and your words DS.xx
Posted by  bubblydi  on 2008-01-27 05:25:17 
  
That is nice but NO nude people please? I seem to enjoy it a bit. You seem nice.
Posted by  BEAUTY1118  on 2008-01-27 11:33:25 
  
people, life is in the blood. so when she bleeds, she is sharing her life with you. cutters are melancholy. this women is ANYTHING but melancholy. whoever flagged this would flag the Bible so as not to offend a skunk.
Posted by  AllThingsBuck  on 2008-01-27 11:46:52 
  
"We are all bleeding hearts...
Just needing to be loved."

Those two lines alone would have explained the sentiment of your piece. Not to sound mean or anything, but the rest of it becomes fairly redundant, esp. with the repetition of certain images. And melancholia should never be redundant, otherwise it becomes trivial.
Posted by  lord_haku  on 2008-01-27 12:04:40 
  
I would have thought it was obvious to anyone with a tiny bit of commensense....If you have read any other posts by this person.....And i have you will see what an honest caring person it is that writes this blog.....METAPHOR , METAPHOR , METAPHOR.....If you are offended then may i suggest that you GOOGLE it!!!.
Posted by  WhindWhispers  on 2008-01-27 13:43:38 
  
I would have thought it was obvious to anyone with a tiny bit of commensense....If you have read any other posts by this person.....And i have you will see what an honest caring person it is that writes this blog.....METAPHOR , METAPHOR , METAPHOR.....If you are offended then may i suggest that you GOOGLE it!!!.
Posted by  WhindWhispers  on 2008-01-27 13:43:56 
  
I fear for some who have fallen to the song. I see yet another character, another costume she wears. She is the grimmest of geisha with the poison-tipped, razor-sharp parisol. Her face is mezmerizing. Her eyes can grip you from a distance. Her words mind-bending. Beneath her robes may very well be the tattoo of a venomous cobra.

Thankfully I am immune, because she mistakes my words. I stand on a different side of the wall. It is impenetrable by misunderstanding. Sanctuary from the vampires and zombies.
Posted by  brainstormer  on 2008-01-27 14:41:18 
  
brainstormer-..
I think you watch too many movies dear.
I am an ordinary girl, trapped inside of a woman's body.
Hehe.
If I had all of that power of the dark side...I would be Darth Vader.
Boo.
I promise not to get you- and break through your impenetrable defenses.
Did not mean to shake you up that much.
Peace.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-27 22:36:56 
  
WhindWhispers-..
Thank you, at least most can think poetically.
I think- thinking only past breakfast, is a shallow way to live.
Making life into poetry, in fact, distracts us from the redundancy of life.
It gives life meaning.
Not everyone wants to get that.
Too many realists.
I am more of a dreamer- realism gets stale.
Peace.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-27 22:51:51 
  
lord haku-..
No offense taken, yet I like the redundancy of my life lessons.
They are for me- I write for the pure pleasure of writing.
It is a spiritual and emotional way to release all of my emotions, in a healthy way.
I like to reiterate, paraphrase, re-write whole pieces, of past ones written.
I am a redundant person in thought, I cannot change that, just because you find it trivial, does not change the fact- that I like what I write.
I like trivia, nostalgia, and melancholy memories, as well as sweet peaceful memories.
Our thoughts could never be trivial to ourselves, just to onlookers.
My writing is not trivial to me, it is my diary of my thought life.
Either love it, or not.
I will still keep my writing style.
Peace.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-27 22:59:40 
  
AllThingsBuck-..
I missed out on the flagging.
How exciting.
I kind of liked to get flagged, it makes me smirk.
It means I got to someone.
Scripture says beware when all start becoming your friends, and no one is disagreeing with you.
That means you are probably just saying what everyone wants to hear.
I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.
Thanks for sticking up for me.
I kind of like the challenge, of someone putting up a fuss.
I find it kind of amusing.
Peace.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-27 23:05:28 
  
BEAUTY-..
I will warn you and you can cover your eyes.
It is very artsy...I think it will not shock too much.
Thanks for the kind words, you seem like a nice person, as well.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-27 23:07:39 
  
bubblyDiane-..
You are so kind to me.
I know how much you really mean that.
I promise- I will not quit writing.
It is in my blood.
I love you.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-27 23:09:11 
  
WhindWhispers-....Nicely said:

I like the metaphor of being cut and bleeding....The cuts are the wounds that we inflict on ourselves and others souls , even when we do not mean too , especialy when we open up and let people in , and then we get scared.....And the blood is our emotions that we show people....We often hurt those that try and get close to us , because of our own insicurities....I have been guilty of this recently , and i have many regrets....But i am learning SLOWLY!....Great post....Take Care.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-27 23:12:29 
  
Brainstormer has iissssuuzze!!
Posted by  MoRambler  on 2008-01-28 04:51:54 
  
MoRambler-..
You think?
I think we all have issues.
I will play the bad girl geisha.
Maybe I really will get a tattoo of a cobra, it will be a memorial to all of our issues.

hehe...
Peace
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-28 18:51:19 
  
I love being alowed to roam through your mind and your thoughts, thankyou for being you, keep writing
love you xx
and don't listen to beauty, you post all the nudes you want ;)
Posted by  missmarie  on 2008-01-29 09:51:18 
  
missmarie-..
I like roaming around in your world too.
I will post, ...mmm...something.
love you marie
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-29 12:01:47 
  
Thank you for sharing yourself with each one of us.
We all have that need to be known, but most of us are afraid to let another know us.
By allowing yourself to be known
You give us the courage to let another know us.
You are correct
Each one of us has a bleeding heart
A heart in need of love
My heart feels loved because of you.
Bless You Difficult Soul
(DS forgot a word in the first comment can you delete it for me thanks)
Posted by  ColoradoDreamin  on 2008-01-29 23:11:50 
  
Thank you for letting me into your head DS.
It is a wonderful place that I love to explore.
I see so much of me in you that reading your page has helped me better understand myself.
Enjoy your painting!
All love
Posted by  ReD_MooN  on 2008-01-30 23:49:30 
  
ADIDAS-..
Come and be in my shoes any time.
I wear Adidas running shoes.
I have for years.
You may just fit them.
By the way, I like when you comment.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-31 19:41:44 
  
ColoradoDreamin-...
I am glad that you can feel my love.
I trust that sincerity of heart, always will shine through, with everything that I say and do.
I feel your sincerity in how you care for me.
Thank you for sharing a part of you with me.
I do not look at these blogs as a game, or entertainment.
I see this as me- meeting people.
I am glad I met you, bless you.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-02-01 10:17:13 
  
ADIDAS-..
We are all searching for absolution in life.
Psychology, teaches of Maslow's steps to the human emotional evolution.
The last step that human beings take, in our emotional evolution, is Self-Actualization.
To need to feel- like your life has meaning.
Coming to the most dignified state.
To become aware of- what life really means to you.
To be in a place where we feel comfortable with who we are.
We seek Peace.
There is a road that leads to peace.
It is the road, the trip- to our destination, that we have to quit dreading.
I used to have this evil foreboding, where I thought something bad was going to happen everyday.
I felt restless, tossed to and fro in my emotions, dreading life.
The road to peace- is our thought life.
We have the power to control how we think about life.
Try looking at it as an adventure, no kidding, you can even refer to having your soles of peace on.
Your Adidas shoes.
All
Day
I
Dream
About
Sincerity

Live like you mean it.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-02-01 10:35:54 
  
RedMooN-...
All of us have a little bit of everyone we have ever met in us.
We absorb a touch of everyone's personality after knowing them.
I truly believe that.
You also see you in me- because we are identical in creation, but for our memories and our personal souls.
Human is human -young heart.
Keep shining.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-02-01 10:38:50 
  
The reason I love to read your posts is because you are so vunerable. I see how that makes me want more.
I see how it makes me love you even tho' we have never met in the physical form.
I have learned how to love you from the inside out. I wish that is the way it always worked in this crazy world.
Thank you for sharing yourself with others so openly. You have raving fans!
Posted by  trevorjohn  on 2008-02-03 11:44:14 
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DifficultSoul
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