Sometimes everything and everyone you know seem to blur... you know who and what they are but not exactly what they mean to you. Could it be possible to make believe they are what you want them to be? I don't know... I like believing that it shouldn't have to be make believe... and yes I know I contradict myself but it's an interesting concept don't you think? When we were children, it was easy to make believe. We saw people as we wanted to see them (or at least as they allowed us to see them. But that's the thing, when we were children we were so easily convinced that everything we were taught was right. The older we get the more we cling to those ideas, but we still cant help but explore our own interpretations of what's right. Even as teens, we were told things like, "you shouldn't have sex before marriage," and, "If you drive too fast you'll crash." Although we tried so hard at that point in our lives to defy things like those we realize later on there was truth to them.

     We sleep with people sometimes so that we can feel that sense of closeness, the feeling that someone cares. I know a lot of people will say, "no, I love the person, or they love me," but in all actuality a lot of the thrill of sex is the adrenaline, the feeling that someone will get that close to you. If you can look back on all your past partners and say you had a deep emotional connection with all of them then I congratulate you. But I think as most people look back, they realize that it was to feel that close to someone, or the thrill of that intense sexual rush. Either way I'm not saying it's wrong, just not what we were taught about sex. 

    As for the driving fast, it applies to more than cars. Of course they meant cars at the time, and we all said, "yes, yes I know, I'll be careful." But there are so many other meanings to that advice. Sometimes we tried to grow up too fast, we fell in love because we thought that was what we were supposed to do, we drank and smoked cigarettes because it made us feel more adult. We went to college and got our first taste of independence, and we didn't exactly act as our parents would have hoped.

      So, when does it stop? Maybe people and things seem blurred to us, because we are in such a hurry to get someplace that we'll want to leave when we get there. When do we stop needing to drive so fast, and feel like things such as sex will make us happy? When do we stop trying to hurry and grow up, and just sit back and wait for it to happen? If you know then please enlighten me

 .. until next time... 

Here's to life, love, and making it out alive

xoxo

Annabella