48227 Blog Feed: Delaney55 2008-06-17 07:06:13 Delaney55 Your e-mail address 102529 2008-05-29 03:25:02 Choose your ten out of these:

Corn Flakes or Rice Krispies; Chocolate or Fruit; Bath or Shower;
Go to work or take day off; DVD or Movie Theater; Radio or TV;
Vegetable or Meat; Tea or Coffee; Alcohol or Water; Rainy day or Snowy day
]]> 101195 2008-05-26 02:11:48 Wrong Expression

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”
]]> 100992 2008-05-25 15:02:14 I found this and thought I'd pass it along 

NOTE: I don't know how anyone could write this with a straight face!
This was an actual memo sent at an unnamed computer company to its
employees. It went to all the company's field engineers, and it was in
regard to a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was
quite serious; the engineers rolled on the floor! (Especially note the
last sentence!)

INSTRUCTIONS FOR REPLACING MOUSE BALLS

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically,
it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this
procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by
properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the
underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than
foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the
mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic
balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling
can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining
optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should
contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these
necessary items.



 ]]> 100457 2008-05-23 23:49:14 Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Bill Cosby


Whatever the cause of your individual daily stress, too much stress on a routine basis will lead to and/or add to health problems. Human beings were not intended to handle stress hormones that are released when we are under tension and stress over long periods of time. Prolonged stress can cause:
• Increased fatigue, chronic headaches and back pain
• Digestive upset, possible ulcer, IBS – Irritable Bowel Syndrome
• Increased irritability or anger
• Increases your blood pressure increasing your risk for stroke
• Stress can make an asthma attack worse

People deal with their stress in differently and not always in the healthiest of ways. It’s often easy to grab a cigarette, or alcohol. I know personally that food is always an easy mark for stress relief that is difficult to learn to not use for this purpose. Worse people sometimes turn to drugs when stress is too much. This just makes the body weaker, which makes the stress run the body down more which makes you grab whatever you are using to deal with the stress and you are in a vicious circle.

Laughter is a natural (and free!) way to relieve stress. When you laugh, your brain releases endorphins, and neurotransmitters and lowers the levels of stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine. We all know that feeling after we have either watched something like a movie or a video clip or heard a joke that just absolutely made you laugh so hard you thought you were going to “bust a gut” or the “belly laugh.” That is one of the most cleansing feelings isn’t it? You physically feel better even if your stomach does hurt and you have laughed so hard that you may have cried.

Humor is good for us. We need to learn to laugh more and to laugh at ourselves as well and not take ourselves too seriously all the time. Real life situations are difficult and stressful, there is no doubt about that, but sometimes you have to step back and look at it with different eyes. See the humor in the situation if you can and then it will help to de-stress the situation, at least to a degree. Think about your favorite T.V. sitcom. Isn’t it based on day-to-day situations? Isn’t that why we laugh? We see something of ourselves in these and we need to try and do this more in our own real life sitcoms. That’s how we get those great “you aren’t going to believe what happened to me” stories we love to tell.

So go ahead, read a funny book, watch your favorite sitcom or really funny movie. I dare you, have a good laugh. You’ll feel better.  




]]> 99302 2008-05-21 06:23:03 Don’t Give Your Kids Fucked-up Names
It’s amazing what you run into when insomnia hits and you are just surfing the web ‘cause you’ve got nothing better to do since I’m sure as hell not getting any sleep tonight. Anyway, I wind up getting routed to a Wiki page and I cannot believe how many people over the years, but especially in the last decade, have named their newborns the most fucked-up, God-awful, how-could-you-do-this-to-your-own-flesh
-and-blood, idiotic, (and the list could go on) names I have ever seen in my life. Now I understand not wanting to necessarily have a bland old routine name, and I mean no disrespect for anyone whose name I mention, such as Tom, Mary, Joe, Wendy…these are all good names, just nothing exciting. It seems that Ashley, Tiffany, Jordan, Chase, etc. aren’t all they were once cracked up to be either.

Here are some of my picks from the Wiki page in no particular order of what I feel are the worst names and I hope some relative of theirs takes them on their 16th birthday and lets them legally change their name to whatever they want after being stuck with this crap, thank you Mom and Dad. Child’s name is in red.
  • Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf-Lee. Son of actor/skateboarder Jason Lee and actress Beth Riesgraf.
  • Yahoo, Mexican boy born in 2007. Named because his parents met in a Yahoo! Chat
  • Lucious Pusey - Linebacker for Eastern Illinois University, legally changed his name to Lucious Seymour.
  • Rusty Kuntz, baseball player.
  • Tu Morrow, daughter of Rob Morrow and his wife Debbon Ayer.
  • Kal-el Coppola, son of Nicholas Cage named for: name of Superman on the planet Krypton (knew he was strange)
  • Shia (shee-ya) LaBeouf Named by grandfather (a comedian) this actor's name means "thank God for beef"
  • Audio Science – mother Shannyn Sossamon (WTF!? Was she high on drugs? That poor kid)
  • Tiger Lily Heavenly Hirani - Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence

And the one I personally hate the most because I feel like they were naming a poodle and not a child:
  • Fifi Trixibelle - Paula Yates and Bob Geldof


Maybe they need a law about naming children? Or you have to pass a drug/alcohol test first?
]]> 97383 2008-05-15 21:07:36 Spelling Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Sauce unknown ]]> 96931 2008-05-14 20:44:55  


"Weather forecast for tonight: dark.” — George Carlin

Not sleeping can actually be fun and fulfilling if it happens often enough. Not that I’m advocating insomnia as a life choice, oh no, no, no. You see, I would sleep if I could. Gladly, actually. But I am one of the unlucky individuals that my medications have just the opposite effect on my metabolism then they are supposed to. Quite a few of my *cough* psych *cough* meds that should make me drowsy actually are quite efficent at making me stay up most, if not all of the night. These have not been transitory side effects unfortunately but I deal with every evening wondering if tonight I will be tired enough to sleep all night.

Now over the last year or so I have read about 200 books, started but not finished at least 12 craft projects such as crochetting an afghan, cross stitching, etc. I have learned a lot about computers, tattoos, travel and oh yeah, I started blogging. See you can be productive with no sleep, well maybe, if this makes any sense to anyone that is.

I take a sleeping pill about 3 times a week if I don’t get much sleep on my own but I try not to use it more than that. The doc gave me mild sedatives too and yes, once in awhile it takes one of each to actually get me to sleep since I have such a goofy metabolism. But I am not now or will I ever, never advocate doing that!  Heath Ledger anyone? I know what I can take and how often I can do it and I do not cross that line. I know that the temptation is there when you cannot sleep or cannot get drowsy which is the dangerous part. You keep taking something to make you sleepy not to make you sleep. It is two different things and before you know it, you have overdosed.

Insomniacs all have to deal with what to do with the night and why they can’t sleep in their own way. You can hate the coming darkness or you can meet it head on and maybe make friends with it and work out a shared custody agreement. That is what I have come to do with my old friend Insomnia and now we usually go about 50/50 most nights. I can sleep with that.





]]> 96818 2008-05-14 13:30:57 I Hate Happy People



Some days they just irritate the crap out of me. Now normally I can be one of these people as psychotropic medications do wonders for making you a calm, level headed and sane “happy” person when they work. But when they aren’t working and you aren’t a “happy” person and your moods tend to go up and down like the preverbal yo-yo…well, then…..I. Hate. Happy. People.

They are annoying. They smile at you. Why? I’m not happy so why are they smiling at me? Don’t do that. You really don’t want to do that, really, trust me. They are laughing. What the heck are they laughing at? Me? Boy they better not be or man am I gonna’ show them….oh wait, no…not me. Okay, boy where they almost in trouble.
Oh look, over there…aren’t they cute? A couple in love all smoochie and cuddly and I think I’m gonna’ hurl. God these “happy” people are everywhere! Grumpy People Unite!

I think I’m going home and going back to bed. Maybe my meds will work better tomorrow and I’ll be one of the lucky ones and have a “Happy Day”

]]> 96507 2008-05-13 18:38:33 I Got The Medication Blues

 I hate the roll-a-coaster ride that you sometimes have when you have to try a new combination of medications due to either one of the ones your on isn’t as effective as it used to be or as in my case, long term side effects were not good and either a new medication had to be found or the offender has to be weaned off. This time is was the coaster with all the loop-d-loops and, by the way, did I mention that I detest roll-a-coasters?

I have just had 2 weeks with the following: 
  • Heightened Anxiety
  • Jitters
  • Insomnia – with anxiety why the hell not?
  • Poor Concentration – see above
  •  Poor Coordination – once again, see above
  •  Lack of Libido – no sh*t!
  • Cognitive Problems – no, no, not good
  • Pediatric Dosage – do not want adult dose!!!
Needless to say, the doctor and I had a conversation about this medication and I am happy to report, I am no longer taking this *%$$##%%%* thing. We have decided to wean me off of the offending medication and see if I do okay and hopefully don’t need a replacement.

For those of you reading this that have done this little dance you know how frustrating this can be. Depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, etc. is not like having something simple where they can prescribe one medication and Bingo you’re cured. Doesn’t even come close. The best you can usually hope for is that through a lot of trial and error they will find a combination of medications that keep you fairly stable allowing you to live a fairly “normal” life. If you are one of the lucky ones that is, some aren’t that lucky.

Even finding a workable combination doesn’t ensure how long it will work or whether or not, as in my case, long term side effects may cause a re-evaluation of what you have to take. And then begins your little dance in hell or you may be lucky and have no problems at all with the new combinations, we just never know until we have to do it.

Thank you to the people in our lives that love us enough to see us through times like this because it just proves that they are the best and damn, they really love us. ]]> 95200 2008-05-10 03:01:11
Good Morning!
(or if the cat(s) hadn't woken me up,
I probably wouldn't have got out of bed)

 


     When you are bipolar, some mornings are harder than others to find a reason to get out of bed, especially when you are older and the children are long since grown and on their own. Each day is a struggle to find a reason to motivate yourself to find a purpose, a solid reason for you to exist and continue to plod through the daily ritual of medications that may or may not keep you from cycling through a deep depression all the while costing $1300 a month and that is with insurance. You have two choices, wallow or try hard to see the humor where ever you can and laugh as much as possible at life and at yourself or you won't make it trough the day.

     Mental illness is not a joke, it is devastating, life threatening, and carries a horrible stigma that those of us with even the most mild forms of it are afraid to speak up because we don't want to be lumped in with the true "crazies" ie: the street people you see talking to themselves or people that only  they can see. The schizophrenics, paranoid personalities, borderline personalities, the list can go on and on. The more severe types of manias make it difficult for anyone with any emotional or mental health issues to want to admit it to your own family let alone to the public (work, friends) due to the fear of how this will be perceived. Will you be applauded for your honesty or will they condemn you as a crazy person? Will you be given the benefit of the doubt and just let it go that it is a health issue the same as if you had asthma or diabetes? Or will you be expected to give a detailed explanation of exactly how bad off you are? Are you serial killer material or are you just strip down naked and howl at the moon crazy?

      I'm one of the luckier ones, I'm what is know as: Cyclothymic Personality  = People with cyclothymic personality alternate between high-spirited buoyancy and gloomy pessimism. Each mood lasts weeks or longer. Mood changes occur regularly and without any identifiable external cause. Many gifted and creative people have this personality type.

     My cycles tend to run approximately every twelve weeks with the depressive cycle lasting three to six weeks on average. I am also lucky that I have always been able to work during my cycles even though a few have been difficult. I am very high functioning.

      My mother was, what was referred to in the day as "manic-depressive with schizophrenic tendencies" and she was in bad shape with multiple nervous breakdowns, hospitalizations, various attacks on people (including me) had to have electric shock therapy numerous times and was heavily drugged. It is scary to know that unfortunately mental illness is hereditary. I am just thankful that I did not wind up at the degree that my mother was.

     My biggest fear is that my children will have inherited our family curse. Every year I watch and pray that they are fine and that I remain the only one with this stigma, this thing that no one can see but that I fight with every day, that I have to remind myself that it isn't my fault....it is a medial condition even if no one wants to admit to having it.
 ]]> 95168 2008-05-10 00:08:04    


    This blog is dedicated to my trying at this point in my life to survive the ins' and outs' of living in this increasingly insane world when you yourself are "half a bubble off of plum". I try every day to not look at myself or the world too seriously and try and find humor in myself and the lives of those around me because to go to far in the opposite direction is to fall into depression and despair - I know, I've walked that line before.

    My hope is this will help those who are like myself, waking each day and hoping that the meds will keep the depression or monsters at bay. Or that it will help those that love the individuals like me understand us better and realize that we really are people just like you, just with a little extra "special" something that sometimes gives more than we want or plan on giving. And I hope that through writing this I have a more clear understanding of myself.
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