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It's bullshit!

It's 11:15 at night and I'm crying my eyes out.

Not that anyone would care. I'm just another tiny person in this massive world and right now I'm sure a lot of people are crying along with me.

I'm not usually this careless with my words. It's just that right now I'm in a really bad mood and I'm upset. And I'd normally not write about it on the internet. I guess I want comfort from strangers.

I'm frustrated with the way my older brother treats me. I'm frustrated with the way he cunningly insults me in front of the rest of my family. I'm frustrated with the way he flaunts his girlfriend in my face when he knows I'm lonely. I'm frustrated with the way he acts like he's better than me at everything. And I'm frustrated with the way my mother coddles him like he's an angel from heaven and refuses to see the devil inside him.

I don't normally cry this much but it's just bullshit. Sam has no reason to hate me, I'm no one's favorite, and I never was. I never offered any competition. He's a bully who enjoys tormenting me. And I just let him. I don't do anything. I let him tease me and treat me like a dog and I don't even try to defend myself. What am I supposed to say anyway? "Shut up!" or "Leave me alone" or "Don't talk to me"? Those are childish responses that would only feed his desire to torment me further.

Thank you to all those taking the time to read this. I appreciate your kindness.

Posted by Dark_Eyes on 2009-07-05 02:25:14 | Rating:

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I understand where you are coming from, I have an older brother like that well at least I wish he was like that. Your brother seems alot mellower than mine but I hope you hang in there and try proving him wrong. Don't tell him he is wrong actually do something that proves him wrong.

<3 Best of luck

~Melody~

Posted by AsagaoAiYuki on 2009-07-05 02:41:27

i wish i knew wat to say... i keep staring at this blank box, thinking up stuff, but it all seems lame and fake and such...

i hope it gets better for u soon, i cant empathize with the sib thing, never had any sibs myself, but i kno the feeling of being lonely...

u ever wanna chat, look me up, i'll listen to wat u have to say

Posted by Kitnchow on 2009-07-05 02:57:46

I understand the wanted comfort from stangers. I'm sorry you're brother treats you the way he does. I am an older brother, and i haven't any idea how to be nice to my sister, but on occasion i take her out and we eat lunch and have a great time, but most of the time we just argue and fight. Its not childish, its just how siblings are, at least in my opinion. Good luck, and i'm sure things will turn out fine. I'f you'd like to talk more, send me a message whenever you'd like.

~Salsa

Posted by Salsa on 2009-07-05 03:17:48

he is either insecure and sees you as a threat, or is a bully/doesn't respect you.

next time he mouths off, punch him in the stomach. he will get mad and beat you up, but you will have earned some respect for standing up for yourself. fine. next time, do the same, punch him one in the gut. then he'll respect you and you'll be on more equal footing.

NOTE: i said punch him in the stomach. don't go all postal and try to do real harm. just enough to get his attention and get yourself some respect.

Posted by thirtythreeyears on 2009-08-15 02:41:33