I wasn’t looking to meet anyone. I was just hanging out with my friend. But you came up to me to “borrow a cell phone” ha what a line. I thought it was a one time thing. Talk, laugh, chill at a few places, exchange phone numbers, but never actually see or talk to each other again. It was different this time. We kind of clicked you know? You were the best listener I’d ever met , I could tell you anything. You gave great advice, never judged. You helped me pass the time with your unbelievable stories when I was bored. You made me feel better when I was down. You gave me confidence when I was confused. I even started talking on the phone to your friends who I had never met. I was already interested in another guy and you had a girlfriend, but everyone can use an extra friend.

Everyone thought I was crazy for talking to you and eventually I thought they were right. You kept saying you wanted to visit me and I guess that scared me a little. Yes, I thought of you as a friend, but I am not naive. An older boy wanting to come down to a city far away to hang out with a girl he’d only met once and stay in a hotel with some of his friends and have me come over.....can you blame me for being suspicious? You told me I could bring my now boyfriend...but still....

I kept giving excuses for why you couldn’t come. I could tell you were disappointed but you never sounded mad. Several times I tired to cut you out. I ignored all your phone calls but then you would leave me voice mails telling me you missed me and asking me why I wouldn’t pick up. I was never able to ignore you for long.

Then there was the night you called me. You were drunk as hell. You told me you’d just gotten into a fight with one of your friends because he cheated on his girlfriend. You told me you hurt him pretty bad. You told me the cops were after you. I was so confused, I didn’t want to believe you, I’m still not sure I did believe you actually. But you may have been telling the truth and that scared me.....a lot. Then you said you had to see me. You said you didn’t care how. You asked me to tell you where my school was and said you would be there the very next day. I freaked out and told you to call me when you were sober then hung up.

I never picked up again.

After a couple weeks you stopped calling, I guess you realized I wasn’t going to pick up. I knew it was for the best. Its been a bout 6 months now. I’ve started missing you, its been almost a year since I first met you, the only time I actually saw you. I can’t just pick up the phone and call you. What would I say? How would I act? I did everything to ignore you and push you out of my life. How could I just call you or text you and ask to talk to me again? Plus I’m not sure if I really want you back in my life. You freaked me out pretty bad. But I still want to know that you’re ok, you were a huge part of my life for quite awhile. We talked for hours almost everyday for 6 or 7 months.

I checked your myspace today. You haven’t been on your page in four months, right around the last time you called me. I checked your friend’s pages but they don’t have you on their top friends. Where did you go? I can’t find you. Are you alright? I’m sorry I pushed you away. I hope you understand why I did it. I hope I find you soon, I need to know you’re ok. I want some clue as to what happened that night. You disappeared babe. I my never see or talk to you ever again. I want you to know that, that makes me sad. I really do miss you.

There’s nothing more that I can do. Maybe one day I’ll message one of your friends and they can tell me where you are and they can tell me that you are alright because honestly...I’m a little worried. I know I shouldn’t be but I am.

Where ever you are, take care of yourself. Perhaps we’ll meet again sometime. I hope you are well. Good-bye my friend.