Sweetheart, Listen!
I cant stick around and wait around for you every two weeks, week by week...you say one thing on the phone and another on the computer. are you talking to someone about the decisions you are about to make about us??
Honey, we have talked many many many many times before, you do not have money. That is not a problem for anyone and money comes and goes...it always has.
I think it is important you realize something, I have been waiting around for you to get things together now and the way it looks you may never get it together! 1 week, 2 weeks, 2 months, 6 months, 1 year... you use to tell me come here come here...I think everytime we spoke...did you think I was going to come and be your girlfriend? I thought we had already discussed this, we are getting married. No money, no big party except for a small 10K party...done and done.
First of all, I do not want to live with you before we are married! I do not believe that is going to help us at all. If we have decided we are the one for each other, then we have decided we will be together, it has never been an issue for you before then why is it something that is an issue for you now?
I am getting alot of the same message from you right now...you are not serious about a relationship. Serious relationships take alot more effort than you have been putting in for the past 10 months, it has gotten ridiculous when you were in Rotterdam. You say you want to get married, "sometime"...you use to talk about it like it was something alot more serious. If money is the issue, it doesnt matter, we can throw a party after we are married. If you are scared and thats the issue, you will have to work that out with yourself quickly...I will not give you 6 months to tell me ok yes lets go forward or say well i am just not ready for a relationship or some crap like oh yea well phase 2 is even more hectic so i will be working like 24 hours a day so i cant even call you...
It seems like you are stringing me along now and I do not appreciate it, I deserve better treatment. If you love me like you say you do, in every conversation and every email, then the only thing you should think about is how to get me there... you work 12 hours a day...so what? it just seems like you are alot more worried about losing your alone time than anything else. I mean I call you and you tell me, I cant talk, I have to go to the gym knowing that the lines are shit and i cant get through whenever i call or vice versa!
I dont expect that kind of treatment from someone who is serious about living life with me.
I don't for a second think that you are doing everything for me..and us. At this point, I am not sure who you really are doing this for. I have always told you money is not an issue for me. I know for you, money is really a big deal in life so again, this is not really for me...I have never been bothered by work, just with my management and lack of getting recognized financially because I do want to eventually be independant but again that does not mean i want to be a gazzillionaire and never work again! I am 100% ok with working it is something i like to do!
I just think it is strange that you have all along been asking me to come to San Diego and get married and get life started, I still have your emails and msn conversatoins about how excited you are as well to start life and how you cant wait to see me anymore and now here you are in the exact same situation, with no money, and nothing else added, saying something very very different. It's not like in San Diego we were going to be well of and now, I cant live my lavish lifestyle in Rotterdam....What are you thinking? Really. Or were you kidding about wanting to do all that in January? I don't think that's funny.
I have been very leniant with you, at this point, I am going to ask you to think long and hard about this...I am asking you to think about what you want and telling you that if you love me like you claim to, it is 10 months now, you have said well I know enough, I want to marry you...so it's show time. No party...we get married and start life. Otherwise, if in the next 2 months then some major decisions will be made about us.
The best part of life is building it together, as a family. I mean even if we are married and you have to be in Rotterdam away from me for a lil while, Im ok with that...or even if I come to Rotterdam and decide I cant stay there, I can always go back to Canada or San Diego at that point. Right now, I am nowhere in this equation the way it seems, the only time you can say all this is for you and me baby is if there really is a concrete you and me...right now it's all for you and whoever else is directly involved with you. Not me! I am not spending time on this project and am in no way a part of your life right now...Emails and 10minute conversations about my protests, once every week, dont really get us any closer in our future together.
HONEY, We can not wait for the money train to move on with life, well I know I can't. If you want to get married to me, you should not even worry about what is prudent, this is not a business plan you are setting forth, unless you are thinking it is. I will sign a pre-nup, if that is what you and your advisors want, I dont really care like you do.
You know the best part of this is, you go back and forth, like you are bipolar...lol. just kidding! You should have never put me in a position like this to be able to talk about our future like this. You are the man, I expect you to be the one to create a concrete plan for us rather than tell me to stop pressuring you. It's been 10 months honey, you said 1 year is all you can take. I agreed. I am now reminding you, 2 months is a year.
Alright honey,
xoxo
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