Our latest experience the big move from Killeen, Texas to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. 

I can't remember if I mentioned this, but we had a scare that my husband would be deployed with 1-21 FA.  Fortunately for us, he had signed up for MP school before the deployment was issued and were able to dodge that deployment.   This is why we PCSed from TX to MO.  He has already started his training and we are all moved here.  My father was able to come and help us out, which he was a great help too. 

It wasn't a long trip really.  We decided to drive at night, because we figured the kids would sleep through, which they did.  Once they woke up some trouble began.  Well being that she was already sleeping through the night, I didn't think she would have a poopie explosion.  So it held us back about an hour and I had to throw away her pretty outfit.  Once we finally got there we were going through mountains and tall hills...or it could have just been really tall hills...Either way.... the temperture was dropping by the minute and you could feel the wind hitting the car.  It gave me a really sick feeling in my stomach.  As much as I hated TX I had built a comfort zone, a routine,  I knew the place and here I was in rolling hills outside of my comfort zone.  It reminded me of when I first moved to TX, but it wasn't nearly as frightning for some reason.  I feel a bit rediculous for feeling that way now...seeing how this base is a hell of a lot smaller than Hood and we actually live on base.  Everything I need is 2 minutes away.   The Apt we live in now has more space and is easy to maintain.  We don't have to pay for rent, electric, or water.  Yeah, the BAH is taken, but we're doing a lot better financially.  The only thing I'm having difficulty with is day cares or babysitters for when I have apps or other things that need to get done.  Its so-o hard to take the kids with me, because if one isn't embarressing me then both of them are.  I can never win when they're with me.  
Anyway we made our first PCS move in our marriage and its only been a year and a half. 


Now I have another concern...I have some really terrible dreams about my husband deploying overseas.  Now I know thats normal, however my dreams seem so real that I wake up either shaken up or crying.  I never tell my husband them and probably never will, but I have asked him how Military funeral details are done.  Everything he said was in my dream.  I have had some of my prior dreams become a reality.  They weren't bad dreams or good dreams but they became a reality.  I am afraid that these bad dreams of my husband will come true as well.   He's dodged 3 deployments and possibly a 4th.  No, none of them were on purpose maybe by the grace of God, military mistakes  or just pure fucking luck...either way he hasn't gone yet and that scares me even more.  What if God is protecting him from them because its not his time yet to..."go"?  I don't know what to think about any of it...the dreams and the deployment dodging...

The first two deployments were written mistakes by someone in the ARMY.  The third one was from the MP school and the 4th one is unsure.

Another concern of mine is last year around this time Tim left for SFAS (Special Forces Assessment Selection) well he made it to the end, broke his foot and didn't make the cut.  He's been unmotivated since, but he recently told me he wanted to go back.  Some days he changes his mind...  well I have told him to try again, but in my heart I really don't want him to.  I have very mixed feelings about it.  This has been a goal of his since I can remember.  SF is the reason why he joined.  I knew this and it would be wrong of me to tell him no, but is it wrong of me for our marriage to not tell him how I feel?  I've done research on SF soldiers and their families.  A lot of marriages don't make it.  He would always be deployed and deployments in general put a strain on marriages.  He would be trained better, but he might be in more dangerous situations.  I'd be extremely proud of him, you get more money but none of that would give me him.  The kids probably would never know him.  So what do I do?  Do I tell him to try again or do I tell him that i think it would be a bad idea for the family?