Ok baring in mind ive had 2 babies one right after the other so my body isnt in top form these days. I have stretch marks really bad and i am hoping they will fade with time but they really get me down i feel ugly and when i think of the future after ive lost all my baby weight i kinda see it as pointless because these stretch marks are still gunna be here so im still gunna be ugly no matter what dress size i am.

My boyfriend makes me feel worse. I feel he uses me as a last resort and doesnt find me attractive anymore. He always says i turn him on and all that crap but i dont turn him on at all its just the fact that i got large tits that i turn him on.

He loves to watch porn, always has done since i met him but recently he watches heaps and gets himself off to it. He waits until im asleep at night and sneaks off to the other room to watch the adult channels and has a wank. He goes into the bathroom and does it too. Worst bit is he waits until i go out and jumps straight on my computer and checks out the perfect, attractive sexy girls on the net. It makes me feel ugly and unwanted.

I can never compare to them girls and i feel im a last resort or hes bored of his hand.

I was searchin pics of porn stars last night because i love there hairsyles so i was peekin around for hair pics and i see one chick and thought i would ask him if he knew this girls surname as he is so into his porn and he started watchin the vid which he did not have to! He then comments i might have to have a wank and i ignored his comment and then turns to me and said do u want some sex! I mean what the f*ck how rude uses me as a last resort i said no cuz i was so angry and he had his wank and expected me to be fine about it all im fed up of bein 2nd best to these sleezy porn sluts. I will never look anything like these chicks and it makes me feel really shit cuz he bypasses me for them.

I feel horrible and cant say anything to him cuz i dont wanna look jelous or possesive i mean its his cock to do with what he wants i supose. maybe im just bein really pathetic i dunno but i just feel unwanted everytime i no,see or hear him getin himself off to perfect women.


Thanks for listening to me, this one has been boilin inside me for a long time now and last nights made me wanna explode.