Okay so I've been chatting with some guy on the internet that lives not too far from me for awhile now, don't ask the months cause quite frankly i can't remember and meetings have been thrown around and never actually been when last week, slightly intoxicated i have to say i text him (yes we have exchanged numbers) about going to the cinema together but ended up canceling due to weather conditions and reschedualing for tomorrow- saturday even though it was he making the talk of meeting before while i umed and ahhed mainly cause he was on about meeting up in starbucks for a coffee when i don't drink coffee and i boycott starbucks! but also cause i thought it would be a let down, maybe for me but probably for him honestly cause i've piled on some pounds lately and don't feel quite as hot as the barley luke warm i did before but anyway that aside tomorrow is the day for 'fuck this shit here goes' as his moving to another country soon and it is the festive season so what the hell right?!

but see with all the bullshit of modern day i cant find myself to be all what the hell free spirited that i wish to god i were instead i go with the flow pretty easily in a laid back way but freak out occasionally inside about stupid shit and tend to be most very untrusting and a dash parinoid and cynical cause what if this dude is THE internet guy that all those people warn you about?! what if his some psycho, optionally stalker killer or criminal offender in some way and with a change of scenery coming his way (if what he says is even true) then that could be all the insentive the crazy maniac needs to go for the kill, or worse....

and with my private nature so bloody strong i'm not about to tell anyone i'm about to meet said potential future news headline crazed man cause they could just say all the above and it's not even a date anyway it's just a meeting of two internet buddy like people (who are not quite as sad as that sounds....on my part anyway...hopefully...)

but what if tomorrow does change everything? what kind of a person really walks into the beasts liaer willingly with no back up or weapons to crush his bones with apart from the heel of a cowboy boot?....

maybe thats why i've been filing my nails rounded, and slightly pointed today instead of their usual au naturel square.....i'm sure if need be i could kill him with my bare hands, without breaking a nail........but lets hope i won't need to and i'm just some big giant freak that hopes for the best but fears the worst in everything and everyone....

well here's to another day and i will let you know tomorrow if i've lived to tell the tale of saturday afternoon at the movies with some internet guy......and here's to god willing!!!................

:)

over and out

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