As 2008 comes to a close, (wow, how time goes so quickly) I find myself, as I seem to do every year at this time, reflecting on the past months and where I have been and where I am now. I have to say, if you told me in January that I would be where I am, have had the experiences I've had, done what I've done, and taken the risks I have... I would have laughed. I would have found it absurd. This has been a crazy whirlwind of a year, filled with extreeme highs and extreeme lows. I have made some great friends, and lost some.. I have made many, MANY mistakes.. hurt people I never wanted to hurt.. been hurt by people who never wanted to hurt me... found a strength inside me that I never knew existed.. my life went from 'normal' to 'soap opera' in the blink of an eye... and the storm that blew through was nothing like I ever expected (my friends all know this one!)
....I think this year, though, I have begun to do something I have never done before: find ME and discover who I am. I've spent past years being who other people wanted me to be, worrying what people thought of me, trying to conform to what would find me love or frienship. This year, through the choices I've made, I've learned that it's more important to be myself, it's more important that I am happy with who I am than if other people are happy with me.
I am not normally one for 'resolutions' but this next year, I do hope to continue to work on myself.. to continue to find who I am, and what makes me happy. Maybe in a year from now, I can sit here on Thoughts and blog about how I am true to myself and happy with my life.
Changing gears here.. I have a memory from my childhood that comes up every year at New Years. When I was about 8 or so, I was at my grandparents house with my family to celebrate New Years Eve. The adults always played cards while us kids sipped on our Sparkling grape juice in champaign glasses and watched TV. At about 15 minutes before midnight, everyone would gather in the livingroom to watch the New Years Eve shows and watch the ball drop in NYC. This particular year, after the ball dropped, my grandfather (who is still alive and going strong at 85!.. wow do I hope I got those genes!) pulled me to the window, pointed up at the sky and said "Look, do you see it.. there goes 1990!" and he waved out the window. I looked and looked, expecting to see a huge 1990 flying across the sky. A few minutes later he got excited again and said "There's 1991! Do you see it! Hello 1991." Again he waved, and again I scanned the sky trying to find this huge 1991 flying across it. For some reason this memory has stuck with me, and it always makes me smile when I think about it.
To my friends here on Thoughts... I love you guys! You have been a huge part of my year... I hope everyone has a great New Years... drink lots, stay up late.. and be safe. I look forward to sharing 2009 with you!
Cheers!
|
|
| Views: 161
Email This to a Friend 
