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First off I would like to thank everyone who left birthday wishes in my inbox and on my blog. Your kindness and love left me feeling special, appreciated and loved.
For me, birthdays bring about an anxious feeling and an uneasy stomach. I think it's a throw back from my childhood when every year relatives were invited over for a party in my honor. My grandmother and uncle (Grandmother's brother) didn't get along so there was tension in the air. Mom (who didn't enjoy entertaining) wanted everything to go perfectly and everyone to get along. I felt, since the party was happening because of my birthday, I was responsible for bringing this stress and worry into my home. The day of the party I always felt sick and spent much time in the bathroom wishing Mom had the time to comfort and take care of me. I have no idea why we didn't forget about a family party and celebrate quietly.
Now that I'm grown I prefer to keep my birthday low key and simple. I'm a girl who relishes in the simple pleasures of an uncomplicated life. At one time I was a complicated person, who lived a complicated life, but those days have long been left behind. For the past several years I have spent my birthday wandering down country roads and through small towns. While it might seem boring to some it's my idea of a perfect day. With older style homes and large mature shade trees I love the character of small towns. Spring is the ideal time of year for sightseeing and yesterday's drive did not disappoint. In Michigan Spring can turn Summer like quickly, leaving little time to enjoy flowering trees and spring flowers. This year, with warm weather stepping aside to allow for a long cool spell, everything has stayed in bloom much longer.
Nature was dressed in all her finery for my celebration. I felt my spirit and stomach relax as city buildings were replaced by farmhouses and barns. In the fields a few green weeds peeked above the brown corn stalks as the farmland stirred from it's Winter slumber. A few fields had been plowed, sporting rows of perfect neat lines drawn in the rich soil. Flowering trees rose above lush green grass covered ground. The blades of which were shared with the flower of the day ... yellow Dandelions. [Seems Mother Nature didn't get my memo requesting pink carnations.] Abundant fragrant lilac bushes, in full bloom, greeted my eyes, many of the dark purple variety, my favorite. While passing a lake I saw a white swan chasing a Canadian Goose. Sheep, cows and horses shared the May sunshine with birds, rodents and insects.
As I drove along a feeling of empowerment came over me. I felt free and decided I need to spend less time worrying about how others view and think of me. It's time to come out of hiding, and accept and make peace with the fact that I'm not perfect and never will be. The lessons that each day has to teach need to be embraced, not feared. As thoughts drifted through my mind I suddenly felt the need to connect with someone who knew me as a child. Since I was headed in the direction of my parents I gave them a call and they were thrilled to be part of my birthday. [Mom and Dad live in a retirement community on the outskirts of a medium sized city ... about an hour and a half drive from where I live.] I had a lovely visit with them. Also picked up the high school graduation pictures, of my niece, that Mom had been holding for me. Since I have to work on Sunday my visit included Happy Mother's Day wishes as well. I arrived back in the city around 7:30 p.m. rested, relaxed and happy at how the day had gone.
For those inquiring minds who want to know, only silence was heard from RF (see "The Sounds of Silence post for the full story). I sent the note with few expectations so his lack of a response doesn't come as a surprise. Of course, if I'm honest, I had hoped for more than nothing. Being the person that I am I could not, in good conscience, ignore his special day or withhold wishing him good things. What we put out into the world comes back to us. When I wish good things for another ... good things return to me. Many times we feel our good deeds have to be reciprocated back to us by the person we bestowed them on, but that's rarely how the universe works. My kind words to RF were returned to me in full ... not by him, but by others. Many years it seems everyone forgets my birthday. This year I received more cards and wishes than usual. Each card, containing beautiful meaningful poems and sentiments, had been chosen with care. My sister-in-law wrote me a heartfelt letter that made me cry. From the receptionist at work I received a sunshine colored pen with the words "Be Happy" on the clip. Other gifts included money and a gift certificate for a Swedish massage. I'm excited and looking forward to a day of pampering. As you can see good wishes and kindness were returned to me tenfold.
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Fantastic entry my good friend. I'm so glad you had a great day, your descriptive passages made me feel like I was there with you, and had me thinking how I would spend the day of my birthday this year ..... would love to seek out nature like you have and enjoy that which it has to offer, than often we just drive past.
Thank you for sharing, and best wishes for many more birthdays filled with life's pleasures.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-05-10 06:49:29
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I'm so glad you enjoyed your day and it sounds like it was happy and contented. Also glad so many people remembered as we all like to feel special on that day. My mother died near my birthday 3 years ago and my closest friend died 3 years ago on May 12th which meant I went to her funeral just before my own birthday on the 16th. It was so wierd and I was so unhappy. Time to move on now but you have made me think that I must plan mine and enjoy it just the way I want it. Your countryside sounds beautiful - thank you for the descriptions and for sharing. E
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-05-11 12:33:09
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I am happy that many people in your life remembered your birthday...Sounds like a beautiful day for such a beautiful soul....Love and hugs to you...
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Posted by Hollis
on 2008-05-11 16:51:50
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Happy birthday, sweet CO and thank you for a most enjoyable post! I felt like I was right there with you, you write beautifully. XXX
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-05-11 18:38:24
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Heartwarming entry, CD. Really glad to see you had a good day :) Someone like you really deserves it! Wishing you a lifetime of lots more happiness!!
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-05-13 03:21:26
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| Views: 102
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