I'm in my third bottle of coke tonight to keep me awake. I don't want to fall asleep because nightmares will be taunting me. I'm not a scardey cat but they bring back the memories of things I rather forget. Its not like that every night but I have a feeling that its better to stay awake for as long as possible.
I'm just your average girl, who went through a lot in life. Even through I'm still young ( 14 to be exact) I had to grow up early, make important choices in my life earlier and let my friends betray me even earlier. I only have four friends that I can trust now. Two of them are my best friends. I talk and act like I'm friends with everyone else but I don't want to trust them, I am scared that they will betray me, turn against me or start to bully me. I wouldn't be able to bear it. If it weren't for the fact that I force myself not to fall into a depression and the fact that I know that cutting myself hurts more than I can bear ( I'm so weak T^T) I would have done it long time ago.
I may seem dark and misunderstood but I want to put my thoughts somewhere where my friends wont be able to find them. All of my thoughts - happy ones, sad ones, angry ones - so read my blog to see how my pathetic excuse-of-a-teenage-life turns out.

~ Rai AKA CokeLifeGrey.