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A few thoughts on turning (gulp!) 50...

(1/19/2006)

Today, I am a half-century old.

A few thoughts:

Never thought I'd live this long.

I've made a point of letting my wife and sons know how much they mean to me almost every day since I got married and had my sons.

I make my father's noise all the time now when I get up from a chair.

My nose is larger now than ever before...what's up with that?

Ditto for ear and nose hair.

Some guys were born to have beards and mustaches; someday when I grow up, maybe I will, too.

I still feel like I'm 16, at least in my head. Is that a problem?

Wisdom comes with much pain.

Avoid heart attacks; I repeat, they hurt like hell.

Common sense is often anything but.

If you're not doing work you truly love, get away as fast as you can and find something you do love, and do it with all your heart and all your mind.

Money comes and goes. Sometimes, there's more, and sometimes, there's less.

I should have planned better.

I find that I love Mary more now than ever before, and I like her, too. After almost 32 years of marriage, I know she loves me, and I suspect she likes me, too. We'll see.

You never stop being a parent. You never stop worrying about your kids.

As Kurt Vonnegut might say, now I'm an old fart with my vodka tonics and my Marlboros, both of which are absolutely no good for me. Salud!

I will be a tremendously ugly old man at this rate, like my grandfather before me; lanky, shaped like a pop bottle, grunting like a gorilla, wheezing when I sleep and hacking and coughing when I'm not. This is probably not a good thing.

We survived Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush 1, and Clinton. We'll survive Bush 2.

Only time will tell.

I know less today than yesterday, but I am more curious now than ever before about everything.

As Woody Allen put it, sex is still the most fun you can have without laughing.

Laughter in the bedroom is a good thing.

Speaking of laughter, the laughter of my wife and sons is still the most delightful sound I've ever heard.

My sons are smarter, better educated, better looking, and better adjusted than I will ever be. This pleases me.

I don't heal as fast as I used to, and food tastes better and stays on my ugly parts far longer than when I was young and skinny.

Prayer works.

Good friends are your link to the past, even when you never see them anymore.

I like Florida a lot.

Chocolate cake is the food of the gods.

Music does not include rap or hip-hop in my world. It especially excludes anything by Bobby Vinton or Marilyn Manson.

Politicians are necessary evils; Democrats and Republicans are all rascals, and none of them fully represents me. Barry Goldwater, now, is a different story entirely.

The ones with the most indefensible positions on any subject shout down others the loudest. I have stopped shouting. Believe what you want, with my blesings. Hey, we'll all find out sooner or later, won't we?

Your freedom to believe whatever you want doesn't give you the right to force me to believe what you want, or to say that wrong is right or that right is wrong. Too bad if you don't like it.

I really am a curmudgeonly sort.

I have yet to find a single episode in my life that wasn't fully addressed somewhere in the Bible, complete with good advice.

I love a good steak.

Given enough time, I'll screw it up.

My Dad was right.

Some people don't like me. I don't like some people. C'est la vie.

The best thing you can do in life is to help others achieve their dreams. I used to believe that helping others become successful would result in my being successful, too. I no longer believe that; instead, I believe that you do the best you can possibly do, accept the results, and move on. It's the moving on part that equals success.

Science is fundamentallly flawed and doesn't have anywhere close to 'the answer,' and it can't; it fails its' own standards because it cannot definitively prove or reproduce with certainty anything (in terms of our origins as a species or the origins of our universe)... meaning it is ultimately also based upon some form of faith. Still, in the absence of faith in a higher power of some kind, it's the next best thing.

That said, given the choice of faith in men or faith in God, I place my faith in God and hope for the best with men (and women, of course).

There is good and there is evil, and they are real, and no amount of obfuscation can obscure that truth. There is right and there is wrong, and you are welcome to believe that there isn't... but it will bite you in the ass at some point in your life.

Love the sinner, hate the sin is easier said than done, but I'm trying.

Nothing goes over the snake's back that doesn't come back under its' belly.

People often act selfishly, but not necessarily in their own best interests.

Revenge is a dish best not eaten.

Cats are best in a good wine sauce.

I've never seen a holy mackerel, but I have caught holy hell on occasion.

Older women get better looking as I get older. What's up with that?

Hanging around with people that are smarter than you does two things; it makes you smarter, and it relieves the pressure of having to be the smartest person at the table.

Failure can teach you more than any success, if you're paying attention. But success is still preferable.

Football is the greatest sport ever invented.

Soccer is not a sport. It's a communist plot.

OJ did it.

It would appear that I will never date Angelina Jolie, Jacqueline Smith, Paula Abdul, or any of the Playboy centerfolds. I'm finally okay with that.

Who am I kidding? No, I'm not! (sigh!) But, nonetheless, I do accept it.

Never mess with a man or woman with a badge and a gun.

Never give up. Never, never, never, never, never. - Winston Churchill.

Domestic violence totally sucks.

As my mother often said, "no matter what I do to you... you will grow up."

Do not eat too heartily at the King's table.

Life gets better every time you consider the alternative.

A gentle answer turns away wrath.

Never let anyone tell you the world is run by men; what a crock.

As my Dad put it, once you get past a certain age, never put your ass over your head. I'm there now.

It's easier to change yourself than it is to change the world.

There may still be a great book and a decent pop song in me waiting to get out.

Live performance is the biggest thrill ride ever.

Poker is humbling but fun.

Be a good friend to your clients and act as if their business were your own.

Listen twice as much as you speak.

Now on to the next 50......