As the years go by, months, weeks, and days I learn something new about myself. I let people decide for me and I know now that that's not right. I realized that if I let anyone stand in my way I'll never succeed. With my relationships only one of them should have the one that could have made it, should of made it. But I didn't give it all my time. SO I lost out because I let other people pull me away from someone I wanted. Now I have this new guy and all I keep thinking is that I can't stand this fakeness. If I stay there in his arms I'ss suffocate and die. I can't cry anymore, and it's fair to say that I tried but it's just made to be. But my family breaks me away from people and things that I want. I could still be with him. THe one I really loved. But now I'm stuck in this endless circle. And all I see is me, but I can't reach myself in enough time to stop the cirlce from starting again. It keeps goign on and on and I cant find anything to stop it. It's like I'm screaming and no ones listening to me. What the point in staying here if I don't feel alive. I can't keep getting by in life. I have to run and make my own way. It's the only way for me. Yes I'm young and I'll make mistakes but I wanna learn from them instead of never making them.