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| V Is For Victo-- Valentine!
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Face it, bloggers, it's almost not even a choice as to whether or not to post on a holiday, especially on Valentines day with a blog like mine, where I complain all of the time about the female that I trusted more than some of my own family members. Plus, I don't want people to think I died or something and/or stopped posting, and what better excuse to waste the readers time then with the fact it is Valentines day?
But hey, I bet I don't have anything anymore optimistic to say then most people on here that use there blogs to complain. That is, that I am hating this "holiday" right now. I was honestly still expecting to be together with Cassandra today. I thought as soon as Brandon was out of the way that we'd be fine. I sure was wrong, though I imagine if I had never violated C's privacy that day I'd still be living a lie.
Don't get me wrong, I still feel bad about that. Half of the time I still feel I'm a bad person, and my friend that I have taken to speaking to on a regular basis hasn't been helping. Which is kind of something I'd expect from anyone I'd call a friend. Geez, maybe my expectations are too high? Maybe I'm too prejudiced of a person and I judge people too harshly and I'm too picky. Clearly. That must be my problem. End sarcasm.
Perhaps I should put some structure in here now. Starting with, hm, Wednesday? Which was an early dismissal at my school .The day seemed to drag on and on that day, like it would never end. There were a lot of kids missing because our school has six wrestling state qualifiers and people go to Des Moines to watch. Thursday, today, was pretty much the same way too. I don't recall anyting happening Wednesday actually. Not to get out of order, but on Tuesday, Cass wasn't there and it was such a good day. Didn't have school Monday because it was blowing hard. The wind, that is. Mondays blow too, though.
I think I am finally just about over my sickness. I've been suffering through it the past few days without much luck, keeping myself drugged up on tylenol for most of the night and day. That can't be any more healthy than the actual sickness. Today I didn't though and I was fine for the most part. Just the sniffles really. It's been so long since we've had a full normal day that they seem so long now. We've been having more two hour delays and whatnot than actual school days.
Shoot me, but I feel like I should have gotten Aja something for Valentines day. I dunno. That would probably be interpreted as too personal and I don't want to give her the wrong impression. It wouldn't be fair to her even if I wanted to date her, I'd expect from her what I receieved from Cassandra. And I'm not talking just about the bad things. Not the sexual things either. Just everything in general. That wouldn't be fair at all. The relationship wouldn't last a day. Ajas mood swings also make it a bit difficult to tolerate her at times.
This post might end up being devastatingly short... It's an unorganized mess to top it off.
I guess I'm just not sure what to talk about that might be new. My friend, Gabe, got his girl a big stuffed dog thing and a big rose. She was so happy, and I couldn't help but laugh inwardly that I would have gotten something similar for my girl. If I had one. I would love to see my significant other laugh and just enjoy being around me like those two, and see her face light up when I surprised her with these material objects. I could never date a female that expected material things from me, or else I would never enjoy buying her things.
I think I'm out of stuff to type. Darn. Well, you know the drill - Good luck and thanks for reading, etc.
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Posted by Chance777 on 2008-02-14 23:37:17 | Rating: | Views: 111
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At least you have the kindness and thoughtfulness to have wanted to get your girl something if you had one. My bf didn't get me anything. lol. HE didn't even wish me happy V-Day.
I don't know what you did to violate C's privacy, and I know this sounds cliche, but you feeling guilty sort of shows that you're sorry and u can start the process in forgiving yourself. I know that's so cliche and churchy, but I'd hate to watch you fall apart indefinately on your posts. :(
*virutal hugs you*
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Posted by Jeshikan
on 2008-02-15 02:34:55
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"material objects"??? they are GIFTS. you sound so clinical. the friend you have been talking to? take it easy on him/her.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-02-15 05:39:41
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