The storm had finally passed, it seemed. The dark and ominous clouds that had hung overhead for so long had inadvertantly parted, eventually disappating in to nothingness. Left behind in the aftermath of the natural phenomenom was the earthly scent of wet grass and the sound of chirping birds. Much destruction had been wrought on the small town of Josephsville, but the townsfolk were more than ready to begin repairing the damage inflicted.

That was something similar I had had written up last night as the first paragraph before my modem pooped out on me. I'll discuss that later though. I think the paragraph above rather accurately depicts how I have been feeling lately. Like I am starting to feel better. I know I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I did a few months ago. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It's a wonderful feeling. For once in a long time I think I am getting back to the verge of happiness.

Perhaps this isn't because I'm over Cass so much as I'm moving on though, if that makes any sense. I'm not so lonely anymore. At least, not really. Aja and I are a bit closer now, and that makes me happy, because now she feels a lot more like a friend. I have been thinking about asking her out to the movies or something, but as I've said in previous posts, I don't ask her out because I want a serious relationship, something she does not seem like she can offer me. Not that that is a flaw or something - You're supposed to enjoy your teenage years, after all, and how fun is it being in a serious relationship? Maybe that's my problem. I don't call it a problem though.

All of my life alls I've ever wanted were friends. Honestly, I could not have asked for more. I was always moving when I was little though. When I was only a couple of years old or so I used to watch my father and my mother fight, often times physically. I don't remember how old I was when they finally seperated. By seperated I don't mean divorced - they were not ever married. A painful story that I don't feel like recounting at the moment. I never stayed in a school for more than a year until I moved to Iowa. I met my first best friend when I first moved to Cedar Rapids. He is three years older than me and lived in the apartment below mine. I can honestly say he shaped a good portion of the interests I hold today - namely computers. I was so destroyed when I had to move.

I still miss him. We talk online occasionally. Where all of my good friends are at. That was one thing I had always held on to when I started to realize I wasn't going to be having any friends for very long. Why bother? No matter where I moved though, I'd always have my friends online. That still holds true today but I am not so bound to whatever is thrown at me though. Now that I can make my own reasonable decisions and we haven't moved in a long time anyways. I plan on hanging out with him sometime. Maybe this summer when he is out of college for break and isn't working.

Anyways, moving on past that little sudden burst of the past... Hm... I am not sure I am even comfortable divulging on to the public that much information. Oh well. It's there now and there's no point in deleting it. Besides, things run much deeper than that and I still have plenty of secrets. Perhaps I will expound on the points above in later posts, and maybe even bring up other things! After all, there are things I'd love to get off my chest but some of them I feel too guilty about or don't feel comfortable giving out. Ooh, interesting!

Trimester finals are finishing tomorrow, Friday. Today I had them and it sucked. Luckily it was an early dismissal for reasons I am clueless to. That means I have second hour, fourth hour, fifth hour, sixth hour, and eigth hour Friday. Second hour should be interesting. It's with Aja. Someone should give me some feedback on how to act about her, by the way. Fifth hour will be fun - an hour and a half of not doing anything in Tech period? Sa-weet! We aren't allowed to be wandering the hallways during Finals so we can't do anything in Tech.

Oh, yeah, I guess I should warn everyone. I have been having problems with my modem lately. Basically it's on its' last leg. I've tried everything I knew how to do. My internet connection has slowed down because of it too. Randomly, my internet will disconnect and I'll have to restart my computer to get it to work again. I've been in the hardware manager and uninstalled my modem (big mistake, it wasn't PaP compatible and I didn't have a disk or anything), refreshed my hardware list, scanned for changes, everything. Should I get a new modem or try to get that new computer I was promised? This one has had a good life, after all. It deserves a rest. So if I don't login for awhile my modem probably finally exploded. I won't blame it.

On a random note, you know what's a great surprise just randomly in the day? When you're drinking a can of pop(soda)(coke) and forget about it. You come back thirty minutes later to clean up after yourself, pick it up, and realize, gasp! It's not empty! Yummy! Gulp, gulp! I get a big kick out of that. Happened just last night.

Okay, I guess I will wrap this up. I can't think of anything to type about. If anyone knows a good place where I can make my own computer from scratch, please e-mail me a link. Otherwise I will be forced to buy some stupidly unbalanced computer from Best Buy or something. 150 gigs. Like I'll ever use that. Anyways, comments, comments, comments! Leave me some with advice and feedback please! Thanks!

Good luck out there!