Thoughts.com Blogs - France, Fruit, and Women!

View Blog

France, Fruit, and Women!

Time for another post, I suppose. I would have done so earlier but every time I tried something came up or I wasn't in the mood. Now that I've made an excuse for my absense, I can get on with the rest of this post. I have been doing okay, I suppose. Been having my ups and downs, but for the most part, I think I am finally just about over Cass.

She doesn't go to my lunch period anymore, thankfully, though she has returned to appearing in my study hall. She's back to her normal, uncaring, morally-bankrupt self. I guess I kind of prefer it that way. At least this way she isn't pretending to care or talking to me. I feel more than ever like I still want to beat the crap out of that dumb Jordan kid, but she would probably chalk that up as a win for her.

I tried to give her a note some day last week, I don't remember when. Someone had said something insulting to me, perhaps they were just making it up, but it should have been something only Cass knew about. The note was asking her about that, if she was talking shit. I threw it away when she brushed it aside and then ran after her when class ended. Jordan and her were talking and they spotted me and split apart. I caught her before the door closed and said her name. She stopped and looked back.

"I heard you were talking shit?" I asked, glancing back to make sure nobody was trying to get past me. A quick shake of her head before she responded, "I don't talk shit". "Then why do you lie to me?" "What have I been lying about?". Another glance back to make sure once more, and then I turned that cold glare back to her. "Like Thursday?" She turned and walked away then, and I wanted to yell at her about how she was so good at walking away from her problems, but I just turned and left too.

That was about the biggest thing that has happened dealing with her. Otherwise the past week has been filled with lots of homework and assignments and just trying to get through each day. I am almost done with all of it, thankfully, which means I should be able to get it all in before it's too late. In History I, we had to pick partners. I had one, and one of the students that doesn't really do his work wasn't there. There was only one kid without a partner and he was going to get stuck with him.

Well, the History teacher sends everyone off to the library except my partner, another group, and me, and tells us all that he doesn't want the left over kid to get stuck with the slacker as his partner. Basically tells us that we are all students that are good at getting our work done and says that he would like one of us to be partner with him. Reclutantly, we all agree (I wonder if it was a choice?) and decide to play Rock, Paper, Scissors for it. I had to play one person from the opposite group first. I lost. My partner lost too. See where this is going? By now I had noticed I kept losing with paper so I picked rock. My partner picked rock. I picked scissors. My partner picked rock. I said it wasn't my day and the history teacher laughed so hard.

I think Aja has been thinking about asking to date me lately, but I can't be sure. We talk more often now. I have just been hearing things that make me wonder. I hope I am wrong, because I don't want to say no to her. I don't want to date anyone right now, really. People poke fun at us though because we are always hanging out and talking. It's not like that. She is just my good friend. The only one I really talk to on a regular basis in real life.

There have been good things happening, of course, but even those seem to have their downsides (they know what I am talking about). That, and I seem to be on and off about Cassandra. I'll miss her so bad it hurts and then I'll be back to not caring. Maybe it is just my subconscience purging itself. That would be nice. I still don't feel like I want to get back with her, even when I'm feeling low. It's more the companionship now.

Lately I have been indulging in forbidden fruit. Interpret that as you will, but I understand why some people find it so attractive now. It's a pretty unique feeling. By now it doesn't feel so taboo, but I have adjusted to the idea of it and now it feels normal. I think some people would consider it a no-no though. It's just that I've gotten over the fact and it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore when I look at it from the view I do now. Of course, this little blurb doesn't mean I am going to indulge you as to what I'm talking about. Silly reader.

I haven't had many post-worthy interesting thoughts lately, with perhaps the exception of my recent fascination with French history, but I did have a dream this morning. It's pretty rare that I remember my dreams. I know I had at least three. I'd wake up and fall back asleep. I only remember the first, and I wasn't actually in it. I remember there was a guy running from a police officer and he entered a tunnel. It must have been a city because there were cars everywhere. Anyways, this guy tore off through a door, in to a service tunnel I guess they're called.

The police officer was still following him, he looked pretty athletic and slim in comparison to the fleeing man who looked more bulky. The policeman followed after him but Mr. Flee fell down the stairs and was struggling to get up. Everyone knows how the cops always seem to be able to outspring the perps anyways. There was a dead person down there though and they both stopped. It was sick, because it looked like something had happened to the side of his face and someone had placed a cloth over it or something, and Mr. Copper removed it. Then I woke up.

I had two other dreams but I don't really remember them, just that they were really short. It was pretty late in the day before I actually woke up, after all. The rest of the day has turned out to be decently routine, with arguments and all. One of our dogs got taken away though. It wasn't ours but it practically lived here. It was my brothers girlfriends dog and had to stay out here because it couldn't live in their apartment.

My brothers girlfriend called up my Mom at like three in the morning though when my Mom was getting up to go to work and asked for her to bring her to the city. Mother was really angry because she had to be to work and couldn't really do it and his girlfriend kept asking until they were yelling at each other and Mom told her not to call her or ask her for anything else ever again. She couldn't keep the dog because it is not ours, though, so she took it and now it's probably never coming back.

I am not too heart broken, but I will miss the dog, and I know my Mother isn't taking it to well. She really loved that little menace. It could be worse, it is not like the dog is dead. My. step-dad came downstairs and talked to us like it was though. I pointed this out and he said, "Well it certainly isn't in a better place." which was funny because my brothers girlfriend is a crazy like Cassandra and the dog will be miserable in comparison to how it was out here, where there are other dogs and lots of open space.

Recently, I have taken a fascination to La Hire, and more importantly, Joan of Arc. There is a PSP game out that kind of follows the story. French history, remember? I said so earlier. Pretty old stuff, but that is the stuff that fascinates me. It more started when La Hire appeared in the game and I began to question if he was an actual person. I have played another game that follows her story and he was in it, so I wikipediad him. Sure enough, Etienne de Vignolles. So is Jean Bureau and Bertrand du Guesclin. Wow, even moreso, Gilles de Rais is too. Never heard of him before though. I might have the wrong Jean though, the one in the game might be Jean d'Aulon, who was her bodyguard.

One of my friends said it was odd though that someone like me, an athiest, thought it was so interesting. Joan was someone that lived and died because her belief in her god was so absolute. I think it's more what she did that I am impressed with in comparison to how or why she did it. You don't hear about too many people today, if any at all, that believe in something so much that they're willing to die for it. I read that she didn't stop claiming to hear God even when she was about to die. Admirable, really.

Well, there you have it. I've purged my soul and mind of just about everything I've been thinking about lately. Sometimes, when it comes down to Cassandra and me though, I wonder if I'm not the crazy one. Nobody seems to have a clear cut answer when it comes down to questions like that, but some things simply don't have concise answers. Ah, well, I am done rambling, so...

Thanks for reading, and good luck out there.

Posted by Chance777 on 2008-02-03 00:55:02 | Rating:

| Views: 123

Email This to a Friend

Bookmark:

Permalink:

Blog Comments


		brain shackled ..I'm not so good with words of comfort, but I do know what it's like to go through relationship problems and I'm sorry to hear your having problems with Cass. and the forbiddon fruit bit about not telling us readers was pretty cute.
Posted by Jeshikan on 2008-02-15 02:21:32