Ok so i know i've been talking about by boyfriend alot so you all know that i love him dearly. Well i was going to my last class (today was my first day back to college) and I see that i got 5 mins before class starts I will call him. I call takes him forever to answer then he does and i say "hey what you doing?" and he says "its a bad time" and i'm thinking why ..just as i think this my question he answers it "i was just in a car accident" then he hangs up.... Everythings going through my mind.. I'm freaking out  then i have to go into my new class. ug ..I'm holding back tears .. now my boyfriend dosen't even when hes in super pain sounds like anythings wrong so I can't tell anything from his voice other then he's alive and talking/breathing.

i'm watching the clock in the class room every second seems like and hour. Part of me is saying hes ok .. you talked to him you know it..but another part of me is saying hes hurt ...it might just be hitting him now who else from his family is hurt (I love the people in his family) my heart rate picks up I putt my cell on vibe (normaly I turn it off) half way throught the class I get a call I rush out to answer it. I say "hello?" and its just sarah (not taht I don't want to talk to her ..its just, its not Dereck (my boyfriend). So i talk.. kinda ignore.. hang up and fill with dread.. I think whats taking him so long?

Then just before the class is over i feel my phone vibe and I rush out its him thank god!
He promises me he's ok just a few bruises and cuts,  i;m still worried. He said the car side swiped them on dereck and his step-brother side of the car. the driver derecks step-mom broke her arm in the crash. ... when he told me all this it for some reason made me cry more.

I will be writting the whole story someday but to put this short to maybe explane to my fear more is that my father died when i was 2 the man i called on as my father latter on when i was around 10 died. I fear death of all the loved ones i know. My mother has very bad medical conditions too. So i really worry about her live aswell. so this incident just sparked my fear .. i keep thinking he was so close something bad really could of happened .. its still making me shake. he means the world to me... i can't imagin losing him.

so 2008 day two has left me scared and in tears .. Can't wait for this year to start looking up ..
honestly my heart can't take another life lost not right now.. not one so close to me....not one so close to my heart.

I hope my love stays safe 
by best picture for love