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Normally here you would find the next chapter to the book I am writing. Not this time. I must blog. As I sit here with my drink I am fully aware that blogging can be dangerous-right not, I don't really care. My best friend always says be careful what you say b/c words can't be unheard. I am fully aware of these things. So with outh further hesitation i give to you - my blog.....
I blog tonight because I have just reached stage in this horrible break up that I would call not just an ephiphany but also the hurt stage. For 5 months I have battered my self for the choices my husband has made. I have been solid and strong, supportive and accepting and God knows I have just stood fast in the midst of this storm. Today my friend, the winds and the rain have broken down the walls that have protected this structure. The plywood has given way to the gail force winds and this foundation has begun to crumble under the stress. I have begun to cry. Cry not because the man that I loved traded me in for a model similar to himself. But I cry becasuse all that we had built, the dream that I bought into, had to be a lie. The future that I reached for was not to be. Now don't get me wrong, I may not have been the wife that he expected me to be, but I can never be the man he was meant to have. So I cry. I cry because for so long I have held it in and because all that I know is no more. Because there is a new beginging that must start now. Regardless of it's impact. It must start now.
To be cont.... |
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Posted by C_Rainne on 2008-05-03 01:25:31 | Rating: | Views: 105
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