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Well, happiness actually lasted longer than I thought it might. But it has gone again, hopefully temporarily. I feel sad and sorry for myself because Sam hasn't come round. He didn't tell me if he was going to or not but he hasn't and it has pissed me off immensly that I could have had plans or something and cancelled them because I was under the false presumption that he was coming round and he hasn't. How should he know whether I thought he was coming or not?

So this has made me sulk like a little girl, meaning I have absolutely nil motivation to do my stupid fucking maths coursework or to dry my hair. Obviously like the fag I am, I'm still sat convincing myself that he will come. What an idiot. See, I'm only saying that because I hope it will make him come. It's a vicious circle.

When he comes we don't even do anything and now I'm in a foul mood anyway it would only end up being rubbish. I just hate it when he does stupid fucking things like this. No, I'm not even annoyed with him, I'm just taking out on him. I'm more annoyed with myself. Can't I just get a grip and stop sulking over absolutely everything? Jesus Christ, I make it seem like I have the worst problems in the whole world. My life is like, perfect. Why do I have to complain all the time, what the hell is my problem :@

I was fine untll it turned 2 o'clock and he wasn't here. Usually comes at one y'see. I don't know why I care so much, I didn't. I just thought well if he doesn't come then it doesn't really matter, I'll see him tomorrow and it means I'll have more time to do my maths. But apparently not. Apparently I'm still completely dependant on him for making me feel good -.-

Stop it now. Go and do maths coursework really nicely.