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| PINCH ME A LOAF AND GO FETCH ME YOUR SLIPPERS |
okay, i'm officially old now.
when i was a teenager i looked at anybody over 18 and did that whole beavis and butthead thing, snickering and nudging whoever i could find remotely within my age range and say " huh huh huh huh that guys old."
as the years wore on i pretty much stopped thinking of old and age in terms of numerals.i always subscribe to the theory that one is simply as old as they allow themselves to act.
sure, i don't do some of the stupid things i used to do.but, i think i have aged pretty well.i don't resemble a prune.i don't smell like pee or poo.i have the same nice hair that i have had since i can remember.
if you saw a picture of me when i was ten years old and then saw a picture of me now you would totally see the same person.the only major difference is the weight thing,and as i have already reported i am dilligently working on that one.
most people i went to school with look like michael stipe or kathy bates now.that is not a compliment in any way.but, i look pretty much the same as i always have.
i'm still into my loud and crazy music.i even still headbang on occasion.but, i stay clear of those mosh pits nowadays.moshing used to be so much fun.that used to be the place to be.right up front.in the pit.the music making your clothes rattle.hair flying everywhere.the smell of sweat and beer.
nowadays , these pits are not such a fun place to be.before it used to be about fun and unity.hold your brothers and sisters high and help them get to and from the stage.if someone fell down you help them back up.now, it's almost like a gang fight or some kind of mass body mash potato genocide where you just let loose and beatdown anyone and everyone within arms reach.
did you know that people used to smile in these mosh pits? we used to pound it out and sweat it out and between each song there was a feeling of comraderie and appreciation for your fellow pitsters.now, it's violence upon violence and kill your mother and rape your dog.
i remember a few years ago i saw a guy in a wheelchair in the pit.this motherfucker was beating the shit out of everyone he could get a contact punch with.i just always remember thinking that was pretty hardcore.although, the show i was at , the headlining band was suffocation,and this guy didn't even bother going near that pit when they came on.i think that idea might have saved his life because that was one of the most brutal pits i have ever seen and this dude would have been torn limb from limb along with his chair.
i guess like anything , the kids today just seem to be getting more and more extreme, and so does their pits.i mean, i remember when the epitome of raging violence was a slayer pit.but, the last time i saw slayer play, hatebreed opened up for them,and that pit took brutality to a whole other level.i saw bloody noses and motherfuckers being carried out unconscious.i think that was the moment i said i would never go into a pit ever again.
you know who used to have some massive and fun pits? fishbone and the red hot chili peppers.man, those were some good times.i mean, you can always find brooding and violence if you go to a death metal show and get anywhere within 100 feet of the stage.actually, if you have a death wish i highly suggest standing in the middle of a deicide pit.bring your id though so that when the paramedics come to piece your ass back together they have some idea who you are.
but the chilis and the bone ......ahhh, man .....fun with a capital F.i remember once i accidentally ripped off a girls shirt in a chili peppers pit.this girl had no bra on underneath and wasn't phased for one second.she just kept rocking out, boobies flapping and everything.
another time my glasses got knocked off my face and i blindly reached out and grabbed a handful of them as they laid nestled in a morbidly obese girls breasts.that was the most fun i ever had being completely grossed out at the same time.
but, fisbone pits .....fuck.my friend steve got gutted by a little girl once.a six foot four goon getting jacked by a little four foot schoolgirl.man, that was a sight.
my friend shawn got clobbered and laid out on the steps at hammerjacks.the crowd just kept on rocking and dancing right on his knocked out carcass.i think the 2-for-1 drafts and test tube shooters helped ease the pain some though.
pits used to be so much fun,man.people got hurt and the bands just kept on playing.the crowds and the action never stopped and it was all in the name of fun.even when somebody got hurt they just usually laughed it off and jumped right back in.
shit man, now they stop shows and have to call the paramedics in to haul out the bodies on a stretcher.i seen that shit happen at a converge show once.
i just feel so old looking at all of this crazy shit going on now.all this karate shit.where the fuck did that shit come from? i remember first seeing that stuff at the coalesce and jimmy eat world show in an abandoned building in downtown baltimore.all these dicks with bookbags doing backflips and jumping jacks in the pit and my friend kevin and i laughing our asses off.
i don't know how i got started on the mosh pit thing though.sorry about that.i was talking about feeling old and .....well, my mind ain't what it used to be.too much psychadelic kool-aid and hash brownies.
today i was driving through my ghetto and i saw this young girl dressed like a hooker.she couldn't have been no older than 15 or 16.young me would have said something like " hey baby" or " whoa" .....but, i saw this girl and what was the first thought that entered my head? jesus, it's freezing outside , that girl is gonna catch a cold dressed like that.
so, yeah .....it's official.i'm old now.
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Posted by BungleGrind on 2009-11-07 01:29:05 | Rating: | Views: 49
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