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I'm still excited about the boarding school in England, but it is after all a boarding school...and it can't be that cheap. The deposit alone is about one term's fees, and I'm worrying for my parents.
I owe them so much...I'll never be able to fully let them know how grateful I am, but I keep thinking that if I don't live up to theirs, and my expectations, I would let them down. I know it's a huge blow on them financially (the school doesn't even supply books) but my mum still encourages me bravely. She keeps telling me how she would rather spend all her money on me and my brother's education, rather than save up to give us all their savings when we're grown up.
But she also says that we must work well, always, and to not disappoint her...But what she doesn't know is that it gives me a lot of pressure. If I don't become the daughter of her dreams, how would I ever be able to repay her?
I know that parents genuinely wish their child the best, and that they do not seek a repayment of any kind, but sometimes it does seem that way. I have confidence that I'll do well in the new school, but how well is well enough?
I'm not giving up, I've waited so long to study in England, but...what if it's not all it's said to be? What if the students there are so academically gifted that I have no way of competing with them? What if I don't make any friends? What if the teachers don't understand me? What if my peers don't understand me? What if...?
There's so many questions like these floating around my head now, that I can hardly concentrate on revision, much less completing the visa aplication form for the UK. Sigh........ |
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Posted by bubbly on 2008-05-23 21:10:53 | Rating: | Views: 44
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