Ok so even though I have all this inner turmoil going on, I know that it doesn’t show on the outside. It’s a skill I have, only showing the few I trust how I feel beneath the surface, everyone else only sees the me I wish them to see. It’s almost like wearing a mask. A perfect example of this is when people ask me for advice hahahaha! That’s so funny to me, why in gods name would anyone want my advice? Not only that but today I was asked advice on a subject I literally have no first hand experience in… I was asked what love is. So I gave my answer as best I could:“Ok I’m going to tell you straight up...there is no right or wrong definition of love. There are just many, many levels that you must sort through before finding in which category your love fits. The main categories would probably be friendship love, teenage love, family love, first love, and deep love.
Friendship love is when you truly and deeply care about some one but can’t see them in any sort of sexual way. Its how you would feel about your best friend, or that guy you always feel guilty about when you tell him no.
teenage love is when you are dating a guy for one or two months and you start telling them you love them. Now its not wrong because you do love them, but half the reasons you love this has to do with superficial reasons. It’s a necessary act you see because with out teenage love you cant have deep love, it helps train the brain how to use the cells needed to form the love connection (no I’m not being crazy this type of thing is real)
family love- no need to explain this one.
First love is when you first get that feeling of really truly starting to care about some one, not only as a friend but also as a lover. Your starting to transcends the teenage form of love by seeing all the bad things as well as the good things. It means your well on your way to truly loving, even many people can end up with their first love because while still with them it transcends into a deeper love. You still have the giddy lust filled sensations when you see them.
Deep love is the one that is what lasting marriages are made of… It’s a mixture of friendship love, family love, and first love. But in replacement of always feeling lust filled around them it's kind of like a calming effect they have on you. They are your lover, your best friend, and your rock. With them you feel safe and cared for, but you also still know that you are an individual that can stand on your own two feet if need be. It’s what still married parents have. A lot of deep loves start off as friendships first and slowly build into something more. It’s not a sudden attraction that takes place, more of a steady connection that grows stronger.
Now I’m not saying I’m a love expert...this is just my observation. I observe a great deal of things. Feel free to completely ignore everything I just said but much to my friends dismay I am usually right in the few things I seriously say. Now all you need to ask yourself is how do you honestly feel about this guy? Is it mostly lust or was there a mutual understanding in what was needed for both of you to survive a relationship.”
See I know that I shouldn’t be the one telling her this because I have never fully felt the emotion myself. Knowing my luck those cells that are used for love have become weak and disappeared so I might never really know what love is. The idea of trying to help others when I can’t even help myself is as ridiculous as saying Bryce and I will end up being together for the next six years of our lives. What ever she asked for my opinion and I gave it to her, since I also threw in that last little bit I cannot be blamed if I turned out to be incredibly wrong. Ok well. It’s late. I have to go to sleep! Good night!
~Brooke
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