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 Sexual abuse?
A few days ago a friend came out to me and told me that he had been sexually abused by an uncle less than a week ago. He was sleeping over the night he confessed and it took him a long time to tell me; probably about an hour. But he finally admitted to it...he said it felt so good for him to finally talk to someone about it, because it was "choking" him and he needed to get it off his chest.

He doesn't want to go home because his uncle lives nearby and visits frequently, and he does not want to be abused again. He cried for hours after he told me and I'm really worried about him because although he didn't tell me WHAT his uncle did to him, it must have been awful for him to be so scared and upset. I don't really know how to support him because I've never been in that situation before.

So...what can I do to support and help him get through this? He doesn't want me to tell anyone because he promised to tell someone himself (he hasn't yet but he promised.) Physical contact, maybe? Something else? I don't get out much, as you can tell :P. I don't know how to be comforting.

Thanks for your help

    Posted by BrennanEckhardt on 2009-03-10 23:14:59 | Rating: | Views: 148
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As a victim of that myself....unless he is a might strong willed individual...he won't tell anyone....and even if he does....it is doubtful they will respond. If that sick man did that to his own nephew I promise he will / has done it to others. You can call and report it and remain anonymous but it MUST be reported. Your friend might be upset for a while but the horrors he will feel if this happens again.....I feel completely panicked now myself...I beg you ...PLEASE TELL SOMEONE! tell someone who will actually do something!!
Posted by  brokenprincess  on 2009-03-10 23:20:30 
  
Ive never been in that situation b4 either. But if he doesnt say something to someone, u have to. i know u promised him u wouldnt, but if he doesnt say something it can happen again and again. And if u say nothing, u only allow it to happen again. and how is that helping him. getting the details wont help anything, it doesnt matter what was done. There really isnt anything to do but be there for him, and pray. Jus be there so he can talk and persuade him to tell someone ASAP, the longer he doesnt say anything, the easier it is to keep quiet. And then it can happen again. Nothing else u can really do, u have done all u can. Just make sure he tells someone. Hope everything works out.
Posted by  mbarbour  on 2009-03-10 23:24:42 
  
He may never say anything due to embarrasment. It's most likely up to you to say some thing. Please say something if not this will most definatley happen again to your friend or somee other.
Posted by  smitty41  on 2009-03-10 23:27:34 
  
Oh yeh, def tell someone who is actually gonna do something. Figured u knew that. But she's right. Make sure its an adult that will do something. And if he wont, u have to.
Posted by  mbarbour  on 2009-03-10 23:27:57 
  
IF you don't want to be involved....send me a private msg with as much information you can give me....and I will do it. You can play dumb and still know that your friend will get the help he needs. PLEASE!!
Posted by  brokenprincess  on 2009-03-10 23:36:23 
  
Hi. I am so sorry your friend went through that, but you HAVE to tell an adult. Maybe your friend will hate you for a while afterwards, I dunno. I didn't hate my cousin when she told my mom i was cutting myself. I was thankful. But i do not think that your friend will tell anyone. I think the only way you can find out if he tells someone is if you GO with him. So if you won't tell anyone personally, drag him to like a school counselor if you are in highschool or something, but take him somewhere to an adult he can talk to and trust. Stay with him. I wouldn't just take his word for it that he told someone if i were you.

That's one of those things that usually don't get told. If worse comes to worse, have him call a crisis hotline.
Posted by  Xxbl00dyxangelxX  on 2009-03-10 23:51:20 
  
Hello! This is just too sad! It is nice that your friend was able to talk to you about it. I am almost sure it will be hard for him to report this because he probably feels ashamed and embarrassed. I know that when you are being sexually abused, you blame yourself. Maybe you and your friend can go together and talk to someone about what happened. His Uncle is sick to do this to him and has most likely done this before. If not, he will do it again! He (his Uncle) probably thinks he got away with it, so he will do it again. I am sorry that this happened and I am sure you are confused on what to do, but please do something. Do not let this creep get away with it any longer. Best of luck!
Posted by  Kimberlysblog2009  on 2009-03-11 15:07:18 
  
It could end up that his uncle sexually abuses him and he decides to stand up for himself. Then his uncle may get angry and kill him. He is obviously sick and you never know his capabilities. Even though you don't want to betray your friend and tell someone, it is so SERIOUS and something needs to be done before it's TOO LATE. His life could be at risk. His uncle will have done this to others and should not be able to do this. PLEASE TELL THE POLICE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. HE MIGHT NOT BE HERE TOMORROW IF YOU DON'T ACT NOW.
Posted by  GottaGetThroughThis  on 2009-03-12 17:15:04 
  
HI, THIS IS A CRIME AND THE UNCLE NEEDS TO BE CHARGED WITH THE CRIME. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. DRIVE HIM TO THE POLICE: TOGETHER THE TWO OF YOU CAN BE STRONG. PRAY AND ALSO GET HIM TO A PSYCHIATRIST...HE NEEDS SOMEONE WITH KNOWLEDGE AND HE NEEDS HELP TO GET THROUGH THIS. THIS HAS DAMAGED HIM. PLEASE POST US THE RESULTS...
Posted by  doglover  on 2009-03-14 07:53:13 
  
the best thing you could ever do for this friend it TELL SOME ONE of this abuse. Even if it ruins your friendship you will be comforted in knowing that you stoped this abuse from ever happening again.
PLEASE TELL SOMEONE of authority
Posted by  barblama  on 2009-03-17 21:36:21 
  
ok .. being a victim of sexual abuse is a very terrifiying thing.. it changes your whole world.. the best thing you can do, is to not pressure him into talking about it.. and do no treat him any different.. he will talk to you about it when he wants and is ready.. phyiscal contact is a very hard thing... maybe just try to hold his hand and see how he reacts.. if its good try to hug him when his upset.. but dont push any of this onto him... just listen to him.. and treat him just like you use to... he needs to know that life can still be normal.
keep safe
sarah
Posted by  learningtocope17  on 2009-03-18 09:11:10 
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BrennanEckhardt
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