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I didn't know that there was a maze...Learn something new everyday I guess. Anyway..I am glad that you have set goals for yourself. Way to stand up and take errr not take what you want....

I am not mad that you don't want to hang out with everyone...I am not sure if I am partying either.... I did last weekend and we both know how that ended (refresher...not so good) I still haven't decided. But I promised byron that we would hang out. And now we don't have to find someplace to go that won't be awkward for everyone involved.... I have to work that wed, but I told my boss that I am leaving at 2 to hang out with you...I will just be with byron when we are done....

I have been having a lot of problems spiritually lately. I don't know, I am trying to discover myself and who I am...Which has been hard on me. You know sometimes people have to fall before they can learn to pick themselves back up... Well in my life I have always been surrounded by support which has been great but I think that it has held me back from making my own mistakes. I don't know how far I can go before I break because I have never had to. Every time I fall, someone has been there to pick me up, my parents, you, janet, friends...the list goes on, but with someone else picking me up...I haven't learned how to get up myself. I have been relying on other people to save me for so long that I never learned how to save myself.

I don't know if any of that make sense, but it is really complicated to explain how I feel. I need to take some time, and teach myself to get back up. I am worried that one day, I will be out in the 'real world' when I fall for the first time, and no one will pick me up, and that is where I will be forever....

I am glad that you have learned when enough is enough, I guess that is one lesson, I am still working on.

Sorry that this post is all about me and my life...I just need someone to talk to. I need someone that will listen, and understand, and not judge. If I were to tell this to my roommate, I am sure that I will get a huge talk on why religion is so important. I know that God is my life and I love him with all my heart, but he is going to put me through the fire and I have to learn to walk through it.

And as for Trevor....I think he needs to pick a girl that he actually likes (not that he doesn't like you) but he didn't like me like that and now everything is so messed up between it that I can't fix it. Which is sad... But I will learn to be with out him. I mean it is not like we talked all of the time anyway....

I love you more than I love caffine in the morning!