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Why The Closet Door Stays Locked

I've found there are two kinds of people in the world: those who will accept you for who you are, and those who will pretend to accept you for who you are.

Case in point. The first person I ever "came out" to was a girl in high school who (ironically) was having a lesbian affair with one of our teachers. She swore that she'd never EVER let on to anyone about what I'd told her. After all, this IS the "Bible Belt". Well wouldn't you know the very next day I hear from the guy I'd been having an on-again, off-again fling with that she'd come to him and asked if HE knew about me.

That's when the closet door slammed shut and the key was thrown away. I knew that if everyone "found out", I'd be treated differently, and that's not what I wanted. I didn't want people to feel they had to be someone else when I was around....if there's one thing I can't stand, it's someone being a friend to my face and then stabbing me in the back. As the years went by, I found that this decision has been more of a blessing than anything else. That's not to say it hasn't had some drawbacks though!

First, the good stuff:

......Keeping a low profile has enabled me to be a better friend not only to the men I know, but the women as well. You see, gay guys are excellent listeners...and for the most part are pretty compassionate as well. When a woman friend is crying on my shoulder, I can give HONEST support because I'm not doing it just to try and get into her pants! Yeah yeah I know....not all straight guys are caring and compassionate just to get some, but still....

.......This closeted lifestyle has enabled me to meet guys that are in the same situation as me. They know who they are and what they like, but dare not "come out" for the very same reasons as mine. It makes for much less of a complicated relationship when you're both on the same page.

Next, the not-so-good stuff:

.......Married guys who want to 'experiment'. GAAAH!! Any ladies out there who have found themselves in a situation where they've fallen for someone only to find out he's married with a bunch of kids will know what I'm talking about! Yep! They do it to guys as well! Lead you into thinking that there's actually something there until you run into him at the local grocery store with the Mrs. and little Johnny tagging along. They get the 'deer in headlights' look and pass by you as though you're a ghost.

........Players. They've been around forever. They'll say anything necessary to get the hook-up and then once they've gotten theirs, you look around and see the tumbleweeds blowing by. Some are pretty damn crafty at it too...they may spend weeks playing their game to win the prize and then once they do, *POOF*...they disappear faster than Darren on "Bewitched".

Ya see, being gay isn't so different than being straight. We go through the same things (for the most part).....and so there you have it....my first blog post on Thoughts.com!