| View Blog
|
|
|
|
|
Today is Saturday, June 23rd, 2007. It's six months from when I had my surgery and so much has changed; I've seemed to go through a sort of metamorphosis, but still find myself almost near full circle. Every day is a gift, as half a year ago I wasn't sure if I would be given another one.
We're human, we make mistakes, but we should learn from them, as it's a process. Why repeat a wrong, when you know it's not right? Sometimes, we do things we know are bad, but still think good of them.
Battles with alcohol and drug dependency surfaced on and off through college. I also earned a few trips to rehab, debt, poor health, struggles in schools, doubts in ability and a deminishment in confidence and self-worth. It's not worth trying to make everyone else laugh and be happy when you can't truly join them in their joyous feast. For years, I pretended to be a sarcastic, spontaneous, border-line flamboyant ball of energy to enlighten people. However, consequently, my tenure of lies caught up with me and I hit rock bottom.
As the change with my health, and lifestyle away from drugs and booze came, so did some of the faces and supporting cast I've had in recent years. It's pointless to name people, because in all honesty, they are the same person... the type to try to save someone through a hypocritcal cesspool of deceit and calculated malicious intent. They pretend to care, only to get what they want from you. Despite some of the lackluster and sting from the hurt and emotion still linger. But overall, it's for the best. I think a lot of people notice the difference.
I don't have the anchors to my feet, and dead weight on my back from these people, being behind me. I look back at the 'friendship' and I normally wouldn't give these people the time of day if I had my head on straight because I don't associate with those toxins. Sure, I'll admit I had some good times, but there's thrills from speeding, but it's still illegal and you can get yourself in to trouble, or worse.
The second half of 2007 look promising. Working three (3) jobs, and making money, paying bills, getting back on track, my involvement for my advertising major and marketing minor. There's a lot to cover. I'm still taking care of me. Eating more and right, working out, lifting, running, spending time alone, taking up boxing, mixed martial arts, and playing volleyball. I have more vices that improve me than harm me. I don't know which was worse, the lines of blow I'd snort and the shots I'd chug, or the involvement and relationships with losers. I'll leave it at that, for reasons undisclosed.
I went through the counseling, therapy, surgery, more group sessions, slips and bumps, anxiety attacks, moments of weakness and loneliness, angst and hatred. But I can still smile writing this weblog because life is good. It's wonderful! Treasure it.
I got a lot of big moments ahead of me. Paying off credit cards, getting my car back, working out on phase 2 of my plan, starting my third job officially, 44 more days until my JT concert and vacation to Memphis and Germantown, Tennessee. I'm gunning it solo and need the break. I got my surgery in December, and I got my internship starting May 26th, 2008. Big things!
21 credit hours, three jobs in the fall still, AAF, Business Fellows, and writing for the Daily News more. Damn, all for my senior year. People tell me I should take a break and enjoy my last two semesters, and I tell them "I am, what do you call this? ... I'm not in and out of doctors' offices, sick, on medication, with poor addictions, bad company and self doubt. There is no misery here. That's taking it easy for me!"
|
|
Posted by Bounce on 2007-06-23 11:19:39 | Rating: | Views: 146
|
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
thats great news bounce. replacing your negative additctions with positive ones is the way to change paths and succeed in your new life. anything is possible. stay focused and stay committed to your new life. doors will open that you did not see coming, and this new life that you have begun will shine 1000 times brigther than the one you left behind.
|
|
Posted by jason
on 2007-06-23 11:39:56
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks Jason. I appreciate this response/post, too. I never thought it would be as sudden, drastic of a metamorphosis in my life. But drug and alcohol addiction counseling helped. I can tell that alcohol is a no joke depressant, since it affected my past that much. I'm finally no longer settling for content. Take care!
|
|
Posted by Bounce
on 2007-06-28 13:07:39
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
