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To Coin a Pitaism..."Good Grief!"
I've always found that I do my best communicating in the car.  I think it's the whole captive audience thing.  You're in your car rolling down the highway, and your passengers can't get away!  I've had some of the greatest conversations with my kids in my car.

Once, back when they were probably 10 and 12, we were out on the highway on our way to meet His Lordship for dinner somewhere.  I asked the usual mom stuff to get the conversation rolling...you know, how's your buddy whatzhisname?  Did you eat your apple?  How was your day at school?

So, I'm driving along, sipping on my cardboard cup of coffee, just making chit-chat.  When I get to the How-was-your-day-at-school question, my daughter, the older of the two, replies "The wooden dick ladies came to our school today!"

After I had sprayed my coffee out my nose all over the windshield and corrected the unintential swerve into on-coming traffic I'd just executed, I ahemmed and said something brilliant like, "oh yeah?..."  (Sorry, that's all I could come up with under the circumstances)  To which she replied, "You know, mom, the ladies who bring the wooden dick to school and show us how it works!" 

Uh yeah, of course I knew you meant THOSE wooden dick ladies....

By this point her little brother was laughing to the point of hyperventilation, while I'm just trying to keep the damn car on the road!

I prompted her to continue...."They're nurses or something, mom.  They bring in this wooden dick and show us how to put a condom on it"  (God's teeth!!!) 

So....what I learned that day was that "sex ed" in schools has wooden dick ladies now....and that it's all very blase for 12-year-old girls (times have sure enough changed since I was 12)...and that I'm a much more skilled driver than I ever imagined!

And you wonder why I have to dye my hair??
Posted by BootLady on 2008-04-29 22:36:51 | Rating: | Views: 99


Comments


Posted by
pitapie50
on 2008-04-29 22:40:36
 
LOL priceless! Thank goodness you were able to keep the car on the road. Good grief, thats just too funny! Wooden dick ladies,lol. Bootlady awesome post!
 
 

Posted by
tonyrayhutchison
on 2008-04-29 22:42:49
 
OMG!!!! I'm home schooling!!!!
 
 

Posted by
girlzone
on 2008-04-29 22:42:57
 
Very funny story...and ya' know, I seem to be able to pick my kids' brains in the car too! It's like truth serum!!!LOL Have a great night!
 
 

Posted by
Perigo_Minas
on 2008-04-30 06:23:27
 
I re-read that three times, and I'm still struggling with something. Why wood? Aren't splinters some kind of health & safety hazard? Is this likely to confuse a generation of young American women about the tru meaning of the term 'woody'?
 
 

Posted by
missmarie
on 2008-04-30 12:56:22
 
Ha ha, thats brilliant bootlady
i can just hear you
"oh thoose wooden dick ladies" ha ha

thanks for the giggle xxx
 
 

Posted by
Meredith
on 2008-04-30 16:56:09
 
That was the funniest post I read all day. Kind of scary, in my opinion, that schools have to teach 12 year olds how to put on a condom. I had my first KISS at 12 and I think that was kind of the norm back then.
 
 

Posted by
CynicalSweetheart
on 2008-05-02 13:53:39
 
He he. Real pick me up. Funny as. I got taught sex ed in year 9. And that was soon enough for me, but I was a late developer who got boobs at about 16. I think for the girls who develop super young sex ed is crucial, as they can get pregnant at 13 (pretty scary.) I think the average age of sex is going down for girls and boys, but I don't think it's hit 12 yet!
 
 

Posted by
EasyToSay
on 2008-05-04 03:33:09
 
HAHA - that is a classic...... thanks for sharing.... I wonder if we will have those ladies come to the Aussie schools!? :)
 
 


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Ontario, Canada

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