Spring is most definitely for the birds.  They are all finally back from wherever it is they go to keep warm during our long (did I say "loooooong?") winters.  I'm not what you'd call a "bird-watcher" but the....um, how can I say this politely?.....avian mating rituals are hilarious.

First, you have your grackles.  This is a really cool-looking bird with a really nasty call.  They're sleek and black with iridescent blue heads and beautiful boat-tails.  The screech that comes out of these beautiful birds is enough to set your teeth on edge.  It sounds a lot like a rusty hinge.

The boy grackles like to show off for the ladies.  They screech at them to make them look, then they fluff all of their feathers out to make themselves look REALLY big and manly!  They even stick their beaks straight up as if to say "look how TALL I am!  How can you resist my studliness?"

The girl grackles appear for all the world to be yawning and turn their backs.  Naturally, grackle-boy takes this outrageously flirtatious behaviour as an invite and immediately pounces!  At the last possible second, the girl-grackle will leap out of the way.  (Whoa there, big boy, I want some foreplay, dammit!)  So, he does the mega-fluff thing again, and adds some wing action this time.  She yawns again and looks away.  He shrinks back to his pre-fluff size and just sits for a while looking dejected.  She looks over at him slyly and waggles her tail a wee bit.  He immediately responds by pouncing again.  She scoots out of the way again.  Poor guy, he just doesn't get it.  Maybe if he brought some flowers....

Next, we have the wood doves.  These are without question the dumbest birds on the planet.  These are the ones you actively TRY to hit with your car!  (Oops, did I say that out loud?)  The wood dove mating ritual consists basically of cooing and humping.  The girl dove sits on the fence and says "who....who....who's next?"  Pathetic examples of femininity!  Hmpf!

My personal favourites are the cardinals.  You have Mr. Cardinal all decked out in beautiful screaming red feathers and a flashy crest on his head, and Mrs. C., kind of brown and dowdy-looking.  Mr. C. will fly to the bird-feeder and select just the right bit of treasure (usually a sunflower seed) for his sweetie.  He'll delicately remove the shell, they take the yummy part to the Mrs.  Then he'll feed it to her!  How cool is that??  He keeps doing this over and over until she's so wooed (or too fat to fly away) and he's in like Flynn (so to speak).  I like your style, Mr. C.  Kind and patient and a good provider.

Hoo-boy!  Is it getting hot in here?