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Garden of Joy
“Raoul! Listen to me!” the very drunk Mrs. Radisson-Smyth shrieked, gesticulating wildly, slopping her drink on the patio stones. “I want you to build me a garden, HERE!”
“Ramone,” replied the man with the shovel, “My NAME ees Ramone.”
“I DO beg your pardon, RaMONE,” she leveled her rheumy-eyed stare just above his head adopting that fake British accent that set his teeth on edge. She imagined it made her sound classy. She imagined wrong in his book – she sounded like a pompous oaf.
He calmed himself and said, “Aye cannot deeg here, Senora.”
“For heavens sakes WHY not, Raoul? If I tell you I want a garden here, I want a garden HERE!”
Ramone negated her with a quick gesture of his hand and said, “Aye won’t do eet, Senora! Thee pipes for thee hot tub go right under…”
Mrs. Radisson-Smyth heaved a melodramatic sigh and rolled her eyes extravagantly. So much so, in fact, that one of her false eyelashes unhinged itself and landed in her Manhattan. She appeared not to notice.
“I am PAYING you a LOT of money to do as I ask!!” she seemed on the verge of apoplexy. Her perfectly manicured, jewel-encrusted fingers clawed the air in front of his face. She tottered precariously on her high-heeled slippers. “If I say I want the moon in a cage, it is YOUR job to get it for me!!”
Ramone mumbled something incomprehensible in Spanish.
“WHAT did you just SAY??” a string of spittle tethering her lips together as she screeched at him. He could not look away.
He found her entirely repulsive. He wanted an end to this conversation and mistakenly believed that if he bit his tongue she would stop.
Her face was the exact shade of purple in the petunias he’d just planted by the pool.
“I swear to GAWD, Raoul, I will call immigration and throw you to the wolves! Then you can ROT in that third-world cess-pool you came from!!”
As she turned to go, the bright afternoon sun flashed cheerily off of the shovel head as it arced around.
An hour later, as he lovingly placed the last of the geraniums into the freshly turned mound of sandy loam, he patted the beautiful blooms into place, saying, “My…(pat)…name…(pat)…is…(pat)…Ramone. Then he smiled, and for the first time in many months, he felt
Joy.
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Posted by BootLady on 2008-09-22 21:19:34 | Rating: | Views: 157
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Hey Boots,
FANTASTIC!!! Loved it. She certainly got her garden, he got his joy!!!
I get angry too when people get my name wrong! Lol.
Really entertaining to read too. Excellent.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-09-22 21:36:45
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Awesome boots!!!! Bravo, bravo, bravo!
Loved every word. Striking words mixed all throughout!
Very creative! I give it 5 stars!
I have to admit, I had to look up "apoplexy" am I the only one????
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-09-22 22:18:04
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I loved this little tale. What fun!!!
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Posted by cwzywbt
on 2008-09-22 22:35:34
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Easy, ad, and cwzy: Thank you so much for your kind comments! As I hit the "post" button, I couldn't help but wonder if my turning these lovely Scribbles Challenges into weird little murders was a bad sign. Geez! Y'think I might need therapy? lol
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-09-22 22:42:29
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:D
That was great! The way you say it, I can almost hear her fake accent.
Your stories are really entertaining. Love every bit of them. :)
And I don't think you need therapy, :). I love your stories, they're really unique, you're very creative. No one would've thought of such a story like this. :)
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Posted by EasyBev
on 2008-09-23 09:43:24
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We all have the urge to "kill" someone now and then....you seem to be in need, and this is a great outlet!!!! Loved the story!!!!!
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-09-23 09:45:54
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Oh, yes! bootlady writes again! Love it.
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Posted by circe
on 2008-09-23 10:52:42
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Boots...You are always the smile that graces the macabre....
I LOVED IT!
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-09-23 12:02:22
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I don't know why, but I had Ethel Merman hollering "Everythin's comin' up Roses" in my ear when I finished reading that.
Horticultural Class War. Nice one.
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Posted by Perigo_Minas
on 2008-09-23 13:34:35
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BOOTLADY... Stop telling everyone my LANDSCAPER stories!!! my name is not Mario, Its Marco!
hahahhahaha Loved your story!
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Posted by anonimo1922
on 2008-09-23 15:16:19
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Ai yai yai! Caramba! I weel be yob hunting again. But La senora will be pushing up her own daisies from now on.
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Posted by stillkickin
on 2008-09-23 20:34:19
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Thanks, Bev! I'm nothing if not an outside of the box thinker! :P
LOL slow, hopefully this little "outlet" will keep me from actually doing it :)
Thanks circe! Oh yeah, there's just no stoppin' me!
E, I love the way you phrased your comment - we should co-write sometime :)
Perigo (I love your new bonehead picture!): Damn! I wish I'd thought of embedding that song! Oh hang on, I haven't a clue how to do that...never mind...
Sorry Mario, I completely forgot about our secret pact! :P
stillkickin: If I could stop laughing at your awesome comment, I'd say thanks to you too!
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-09-23 20:44:06
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Marvelous ... Extraordinary ... Outstanding!!!
I Loved It!!!
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-09-24 21:38:20
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Awww, thanks Colorado! That's high praise, coming from you! :)
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-09-24 22:54:01
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Boots- If that is an invite I would be honored...
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-09-25 02:12:18
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oh mine...its another murder ..having inspired by a chain in the picture for the last challenge and the flowers planted on graves in this one....covering a crime..is very enthusiastic...well done...and dont think we got used to this style as to get bored from it...your beautiful pats revives the joy...:P
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Posted by LilSoul
on 2008-09-26 16:45:18
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E - the honour would be mine!
Lil - Although I have absolutely no idea what you just said, I thank you for saying it.
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-09-26 20:13:02
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Great story lol .... I loved it
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-09-29 14:42:21
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