Thoughts.com Blogs - Mid-life crisis? HAH!

Why getting older is cool:

- With age comes wisdom. I'm not sure who coined this expression, but it seems to be true. Or possibly we only discover that previous concerns no longer matter. Let me give you an example of this one: For a while there, I was concerned about the infiltration of grey hairs into my realm of existence. Then I discovered that hair dye is our friend. Problem solved! Damn, I'm wise!

- Nobody scares you anymore. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but I find I am not intimidated by anyone anymore. Possibly this is only because I have become unaware I could get POUNDED by someone who disagrees with me. Has my fear gene become deactivated? Hmmm...

- We eat better. Okay, that one I just made up. But we SHOULD eat better as our health becomes more iffy.

- Our kids finally realize that we're not complete and utter idiots and that maybe we DID actually know what we were on about.

- You don't really care what people think of you. Seriously, do you think old guys would wear their pants pulled up to their armpits and sport those goofy golf hats if they really CARED what anybody thought?? (I can't help but wonder if some of the fashion faux pas you see on older people are a result of the fact that the image in the mirror is pretty fargin' blurry....just a thought....)

- You can flip pretty much anybody "the bird" and not get beaten to a pulp. (All you have to do when someone takes exception to this behaviour, is explain that you were having some sort of seizure and are not to blame.)

- Two words: Plausible deniability. By this I mean that you can say things like "Why no, I most certainly did not just make a lewd remark to Raoul-the-poolboy! I'm a diginified middle-aged woman!"

Why getting older sucks:

- There comes a time when you discover that your arms are no longer long enough to read properly. Why wasn't I told that one's arms would shrink with age? C'mon - I knew about the height thing....

- I wasn't going to mention this one, but inasmuch as hair dye is our friend, gravity is most definitely NOT our friend. Nuff said.

- You spend more time wondering why the hell you went downstairs, and then trying to remember where you were and what you were doing when you had the sudden pressing urge to GO downstairs in the first place, and....sorry...what was I saying?

- You tend to repeat yourself. Sometimes you're even aware that you're doing this, but you don't care because whatever you're repeating is far more interesting than whatever the person you're talking to has to say.

- You tend to repeat yourself. Sometimes you're even aware....oh sorry...lol

- You discover that the concept of "spontaneous human combustion" can be scientifically explained by the dreaded hot flash. I find it useful to shout "I'm currently experiencing a power-surge! Please stand well back and no one will get hurt!"

Hopefully, we can all age with a little grace and dignity and have some fun along the way. When I was younger, I couldn't imagine approaching middle-age and loving it, but I guess life is what you make of it regardless of age. (See? Older 'n' wiser? You thought I was kidding??)