Boots, very human indeed. I don't believe it I think I'm first instead of very, very last to comment again.

Wow Sharn! I'm gonna mark this day on my calendar!! lol Thanks!

Boots, yes definately a red letter day, lol

Oh to be human boots oh to be human.
great post as per usual
have a great humpday
regards fraglerock

Thanks, frags! Happy humpday to you too :)

Very much human, Boots, one that has consideration for the thoughts of others.

Bia! Great to see you back! Thanks for stopping by :)

All 'honesty' is an opinion not the 'truth'. It may be your truth about something but it is without any doubt an opinion. So if I don't like something does that make my dislike the absolute truth, er no, it is a preference on my part. I personally am of the opinion that moles with hairs are kinda cute. Cindy Crawford had a mole right on her upper lip. I am in the know that she would pluck her hair for photo shoots because the photographer was of the 'opinion' it wouldn't photograph well. But her husband just loves it, hair and all! *wink*

Well-said, greunie! It really IS just an opinion. Is it right to blurt your opinion, though, if it is a hurtful one? What if you truthfully believe it's not right to do so? Wow! This can get pretty convoluted if you think about it.

The question is what purpose does blurting out a hurtful opinion accomplish? Will it enlighten the person who has not asked for our opinion? If the opinion is a hurtful one, it is a criticism, and the person who criticizes feels more worthy than the person criticized. So isn't offering a hurtful opinion just a power trip?

When I was a pre-teen, my dad harped on me for being a bit on the chunky side...I was about 20 lbs. overweight. I went to a doctor and got on diet pills...then had to come off of them...(um...it was speed, and I was 12), and then I began a vicious cycle of dieting that included 5 years with anorexia and hospitalization. And now, after hundreds of dollars and diets, and years of trying to make peace with food, I am still gaining and losing those same 20 lbs. ...that's all its ever been...

So, sometimes, maybe your unsolicited opinion should be kept to yourself.

It's amazing the damage a few ill-chosen words can do, eh?

"If you spot it you got it" is an old saying.It means if you go around spotting the bad things in people, that's because you have all those traits yourself to one extent or another. If you dream and spot beauty, more comes your way. Take you tube for instance. The amount of people who tell me youtube is just filled with violence and soft porn is rediculas. "Ahem, excuse me mate, your computer cant think, it just gives you what you want" Thats all a computer can do! It cant make decisions of that nature, it only gives you more of what you watch. My lovily lappie gives me cool shark attacks, killer whale v seal, Mig 29 after burner, new animation, porn, astronomy, science, secular world info, funny people, beautiful women, car crashes etc etc. I love youtube, it's the most freedom of speech media available to us.

Honesty is important about important things. It's ok to lie about vanity and the like but when it comes to what people reguard as important, it is vital. I have a deep hunch that I'm being lied to on a huge scale at the moment and need to find the facts. Until then I'm in limbo and cant trust no-one. Honesty is vital. Here's a little known fact. Did you know that if aliens came and visited us and they saw we had a complex language they should assess that we are in most part an honest spiecies. It's true, the soul reason for language and communication is exchange of information, if we predominatly lied as a spiecies it would make language defunct and a new form of communication would have to evolve. Interesting hey.

Interesting indeed, my friend. Imagine if lying was all we ever did. It's like that old connundrum: "Everything I say is a lie." That one always hurts my brain :P

My husband is utterly and completely honest to the detriment of his relationship with his kids occasionally. I try to explain that sometimes we need to tell little white lies to be kinder. But that, he exclaims, would be lying. So I give up. I try my best to be as honest as I possibly can but every now and then I find myself lying and almost blushing as I do so. With serious issues I think it's incredibly important to be honest. With the small stuff, it's excusable to be 'kind.'

I agree with you completely, E. I also believe that somethings are best left unsaid.

Gosh Boots I am exactly like you on this one. I do not go and insult people. Someone in my family. I can't say who but anyways when I was in the hospital with my two year old. She said OMG you have aged. I was like G thank you...You know you have not been around me much for ten years. You know that is a long time. I was shocked really. Your gonna lose your baby face when you hit thirty lol. Anyways I look for the positive about people and dismiss flaws and that is not a lie:) Great post!

Oh I forgot to mention This person is always too honest LOL. I did laugh and I said you wait I will get you, in a joking manner.

ET hopes you DID get her back, but Boots hopes you didn't stoop :)

I'm like you BL. If I can't say anything nice, I don't say anything at all. If it makes me a liar, then I'd rather be a liar than an asshole.
As always great blog! I love your writing.

That's such a great line, Whit! I'm gonna use that if you don't mind! "I'd rather be a liar than an asshole." Perfect! :)

Have at it!

Baby, lie to me all you want. Good post.

lol, Firewater! Thanks muchly!

There is subjective truth and objective truth. It's true Moley has a mmole on their chin, in an objective way. But it's a subjective truth that you are grossed out by it.

Withholding a truth, and particularly a subjective truth, isn't lying. Your verbal sparring partner is wrong on that score. If you said 'I love your mole, it's very appealing" *that* would be lying. As my mother made a point of saying - if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. I fnd that applies well to blogs.

Good to see you really growing into this Blog Whisperer role. Time for a TV series.

We should just make a "reality" show about a bunch of bloggers! Yikes! They've probably already done one.

Honest and polite can live together
You are both

Thank you, WK! I agree that they make good mates.

I agree with Perigo.. wisdom becomes you.. I've been a few rounds with folks who insist you give them "absolute honest opinions".. and then get huffy.. "you obviously didn't understand.." well, yeah.. wasn't that what you wanted to know? I tire of that real quick...

I think even when asked to be "completely honest," I'd still temper my remarks to keep feelings from getting hurt. We're not here to be mean.

I think if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. I think in some cases, honesty is required even if it will hurt someone's feelings but that's only in some cases - like if your friend asks you if you think she's crazy for having an affair with her boss and thinking he's going to leave his wife. I think, since she asked, the right thing would be to tell your friend that she should move on. But most of the time, saying nothing is the kinder way to proceed. And being kind is not equivalent to being a liar or a phony!

I agree with you Meri, there are times when, if an honest opinion is asked of you, you should respond honestly. I suppose what I'm trying to say here is that there are levels of honesty. It's one thing to say "I'm an honest person," but when it causes pain, it should be softened. And if an opinion isn't asked, but a brutal one is given, well, that's just plain mean, and completely unnecessary.

Good to see you, girl! :)

I vote for human even though I am not sure about your ET. Honesty is one thing, being hurtful so you can say you are 'honest' is another. btw I do not answer the question when my wife asks if her butt looks big in those jeans. it is a no win situation LOL. Have a honestly beautiful day.

You're right Louis, that "jeans" question is indeed a slippery slope. As far as ET goes, she might be known to have a good rant, but I don't think she's ever intentionally hurt anyone. Don't spread that around, though, okay? lol

honesty is more of a reaction- if they'd said "are you staring at my mole?"

if you said no, then your being dishonest.

if you saw someone on the street with a big-azz mole, running up to them and saying "thats hideous" is just bein' an azz.

Exactly! :)

No I'm not staring at your mole, but your mole is staring at me.

Staring is fine, it's when it starts talking to you that you have a problem.

ha. indeed, a talking mole.

I agree with Greunie..sometimes it is just your opinion and opinions can be monitored by you and decision made as to whether it needs to be said. Sometimes, people are not looking for a comment on something and especially if it is negative. Being tactful is important in relationships so we can see things from the other's perspective and then decide if it is worthwhile in communicating your opinion at all. What is the purpose.? How will it serve my need to deliver it? and how will it serve my partners need to hear it? Lots of weighing going on when deciding to give someone feedback honest or not.

Just as mercy tempers justice, so discretion tempers truth. You got to have both, and not at the expense of the other.

Balance. Ohhmmm.

I'm right with you there, Lyn - Ohhmmmm!

I love that Lynbarnes.

Well-said, Moxi. The beauty of being human is that we have a combo gift to work with: emotion and rational thought. As a function of our growth, we learn to use these harmoniously.

I aree Boots, most people know there goods and bads and don't need others pointing out the bads.

Man, look how bad I spell and how bad my word usage is. See, I told you! ha ha

Well, I certainly wasn't gonna say it, Mike! lol

You're right, though, most people are painfully aware of their own flaws, and to have someone point them out to you, is evil. By overlooking such things, you send a message that flaws don't matter to you, that you're willing to overlook them and see the good stuff instead.

Yeah... everyone else up there took my words so I am just gonna say that I love you just the way you are to me. Especially when you told me how excited you are about receiving a flatbed full of violets for Christmas this year from me. You make me more proud of you with every word you say.

Wait...I don't remember saying that...ummm...

Honesty can be hard like a bat to the head but for some people thats just the way they are and all in all there are worse thing to be like. Thats just my take on it.

Excellent point, Mike! There are always worse things to be than honest to a fault.

I believe it not only makes u human but a good human...Don't change sweetie cuz ur tops with me...:)
...Poo Poo on whoever called u that...:(

Awww, thanks, dreamie! You're a sweetie :)

Boots..I am always honest, but I draw the line at being cruel. Obviously the person you were discussing this with doesn't get the difference. I agree with you..Some things are better left unsaid.

peace :) shemelts

I suppose there are people who think in black and white. My own world has many shades of grey :)

Glad you walk away from my posts YIKES Hahahaha ;).x.

As I saw here when I made a comment on a post that was honest but blunt and held a mirrior up to a "popular poster" and his faults, many do not want honesty no matter how it is delivered. Too many people want to hide behind the flowers and music that they have created in their lives and not see truth/honesty.
Even if you are civil and polite and not rude, honesty is seen as being rude because it might hurt feelings. If someone is 500 lbs they are obese, not plump, and if you are asked if you think the person should lose weight you should not call them a cow or a pig because that is rude. But if you state that no one is 500 lbs that does not need to lose at least 200 lbs and do it in a civil tone, that is being honest and not rude.

Honesty is the best policy Boots, but when its mean surely then omission is always the best way.

Well, what you described is what I call tact, which is not exclusive from honesty.
But you're right, you don't have to be outright rude to be honest.

So Boots, Do I look fat in these sweat pants?????
Just curious, OK, now pass the M&M's.....
funnyman
P.S. Funny Post....

umm I need to be honest I think your just a bitter old lady who lives in a shoe err ummm boot... and the oder eaters have gone to your brain... haha just kidding great blog I enjoyed it...

So when you said I type as if I had no fingers... that meant my writing sucks??? DAMN YOU BOOTS!!!

Goodness, this was a LONG way down! Whew! I think Thumper's mom said it best:
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nuthin' at all!

I'm sorry this is so late and now I'm last to comment but had a death in the family and was off for several days so I'mm trying to go back and catch up with what I've missed.

On the subject, I agree with you. I think some people use the "shield" of truth to be just the down- right-rude people they are. Sometimes, things are better left unsaid.