I have been wearing the same panties for going on 30 hours now.  And they aren't even a pair of my favorites. 

See, what happened is, my luggage did not make it to Birmingham with me.  REALLY pissed me off until I got a voicemail from the site I was supposed to inspect at 10AM, cancelling the visit.  Now, I still want my stuff, I still want to take a shower using products that won't burn my skin off (even the nicest hotels don't always offer quality toiletries), so I'm still not happy, BUT, this also means I spent the night in a very nice suite, slept in, and then didn't have to go anywhere.  I just got a call from Delta and my luggage should be here in about 45 minutes.  This whole scenario just proves that there is, in fact, a God, and a God that understands NOT wanting to conduct a business meeting in dirty underwear.  After I get cleaned up, I'm driving to Covington, GA for tomorrow's meeting.  Then flying to Roanoke, VA.  Then, hopefully, coming home.  Is it too much to hope that I make it home with my luggage?  I'm planning on using this to my advantage, as I need to call Delta today anyway and make flight arrangements for my vacation.  I have a gazillion frequent flyer points and I'm going to use the many inconveniences of lost luggage this month alone to wrangle some poor, unsuspecting agent into letting me transfer those miles however the hell I please, and thus covering not only my own flight to South Carolina, but Mindy's too.  I'll let you know how that goes.  I can usually make a decent enough presentation that people start to see things my way.  Airlines are funny, though, so I'm not completely confident in my ability to finnagle with them.  It'll be helpful that TSA won't be there to escort me off the premises if I have to get hardcore. 

The comments back n forth on my posts with Easy,  Pita, Meri, and Prelude can always make me think.  Hell, a good gust of wind can inspire some trend of ridiculous thought for me, but these women, in particular, can always leave a note that causes me to rething my position.  I don't always CHANGE my position, but I do rethink it.  And, sitting here in dirty underwear, all the work I can possibly get done right now complete, emails answered, I thought I might blog it all out.  Or blog some of it out.  Or just blog.

I had horrible nightmares last night.  I mean horrible.  I have no clue what sparked this kinda dream-evil, but if I never have anything close again, I will die a happier woman.  I don't care to go into the details, but let's just say I was living in substandard conditions, almost subletting with a very, very frightening older man that I suspect represented Satan.  He was clearly a child murderer, as evidenced by graphic dream scenes I don't care to detail.  I don't think I ever dreamt something so real, so frightening, just so incredibly evil.  I'll have to refer to the dreammoods website for an interpretation.  I have nightmares frequently, but they are just of the kind where I wake up, nonplussed for a bit, wondering if it really happened, and then realizing it was a dream.  What makes them nightmares, most of the time, is that I am forced to realize the events DIDN'T really happen, if you can understand that.  But other than that, my true nightmares are pretty much similar.  I'm always in a dark place and someone is trying to get to me that I suspect is good, but I can never find them.  I'm sure Freud would have something to say about all this, but then he pretty much had something to say about everything, didn't he?

Anyhoo, so back to the comments left and away from dirty, scary, child murderers..........

You know, maybe at some point in time, I will be able to trust.  Maybe I won't.  It doesn't seem possible right now, but I suppose stranger things have happened.  And maybe some of my trust SHOULDA been taken.  Maybe I gave it too freely.  Maybe I assumed that since I have no problem admitting such atrocities as wearing the same underwear for 100 years, other people aren't so afraid to be open and honest about themselves, either.  I dunno.

But I do know this much from my dating history since the divorce, which admittedly is minimal........there is a shortage of men who truly want to get to know the person.  I realize that men primarily and typically are physical beings, and are immediately attracted to physical qualities.  Women tend to be just as focused on the untangibles as  they are the physicalities.  Personality, kindness, reactions to different stressors, and so forth......

So, what happens when I think I trust the person that presents, but find that he apparently has no immediate interest in learning anything about me?  Asks no questions?  Hell, I dunno....and I've got a two hour drive ahead of me to think about it, I guess. 

Need to clean up and change underwear