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| It's a Small World and the Room is Closing In!
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It's been a while...
I've not been sleeping well. I'm an active gal and being homebound is frustrating. I went to the mountains last week with my Mom and eldest sister. My Parents have a cabin there, so we went to North Carolina for a few days to get away from it all. I enjoyed lounging beneath a breathtaking few of the Smokey mountains. However, getting into and out of the car to make the trips to and from our cabin freaked me out. I had to talk myself into riding in the car. I'm so nervous about going places now, whereas before (and CrazyBeautiful can vouch), I drove everywhere. In spite of gasoline costing my soul at the pump, I drove just to drive...and enjoyed every minute of it. Now, I don't really want to go anywhere. Sure, I want to hang out with friends and get out of the house...it's the 'getting there' that's getting to me.
Blood pressure medication, painkillers, anxiety pills...my diet.
I've to go back to the neurosurgeon in early July, and he will let me know when I can return to work but he says I won't be driving until August or September. The restriction irritates me, but honestly...transparently, I have no desire to get behind the wheel of any car...UGH! I have to get over this, and I think I will in time. I just hope it doesn't take forever. I detest depending on everyone else for transportation, meals, and even...courage.
So...I never got around to blogging about SuperNerd and his girlfriend.
The day before my wreck, I received a phone call from a friend of mine. I've been close friends with this guy since high school but until he recently moved back to our hometown, we rarely saw each other. ANYWAY, he sounded nervous and asked me about SuperNerd. I'd told him about SuperNerd, earlier in the week. I told him the same stories again and he broke in, telling me that my SuperNerd was someone else's SuperNerd. He said that a girl he worked with was always swooning over or complaining about her boyfriend, they had the same name, worked in the same department at the hospital and enjoyed the same activities. He'd worked with this girl for a long while, and complained often about her- one day, it hit him that this could be the same guy...so he called me...immediately. In spite of how reliable and sincere my buddy is, I didn't believe it. After all, SuperNerd seemed to shy to talk to me...how could he be the wandering-eyes-type?!? I insisted that my friend was wrong about SuperNerd, but decided to investigate. My friend proceeded to tell me that I knew this young lady who was possibly SuperNerd's attachment. When he told me who she was, I laughed...hysterically. Couldn't be! She's...dumb and needy, and wierd...and DUMB...and OH MY GOODNESS...related to my brother-in-law. SMALL WORLD! I had to prove my friend wrong to ease my mind. I thanked my friend for calling, and waited for SuperNerd's next text. We'd been texting each other all day. I asked him if there were another guy working in his department at the hospital who owned a motorcycle and had the same first name. SuperNerd immediately responded, telling me no and asking me what I'd heard. Via text, I told him that I hadn't heard anything negative about him personally but I shared what I'd been told without divulging the source of my information. SuperNerd sent a text, "I'm sorry. This is why I haven't asked you to go anywhere or do anything with me yet. You probably thought I was strange because we've been chatting for a while but I really thought my relationship would be over by now. It isn't and I don't know what to do."
I was shocked, but still amused that SuperNerd was actually dating this particular female...and had been for a year. I didn't get angry. I let him call and explain things. We continued talking, but our conversations took place on the phone- only. He visited me in the hospital, every single day. He sent a lot of messages when I was discharged but then all of a sudden...I didn't hear from him for days.
Saturday evening, he sent a text asking if I had time to talk. I ignored him. It was late. I didn't feel like talking and I didn't understand why he'd stopped talking to me...especially if he'd been trying to break up with his girlfriend since December. What a wuss. I gave up. My family and friends, who met him when I was in the hospital, asked about him...I just shrugged. Sunday afternoon, I crept out onto my front porch. My phone started ringing, SuperNerd was calling. I figured he must've driven by and seen me on the porch- he lives near me. I had to answer. When I answered he apologized for not talking to me but explained that he felt like he should make sure things ended well with the other girl because even though we were only friends, things were different and it wasn't right to talk to me and continue...whatever that was..with her. He was sincere and I could tell he was being honest. Who knows what will happen? I'm not disinterested but I can't say I'm fascinated. Besides, my injuries have caused me a great amount of insecurities. My hands look terrible and I'm creeping around like a feeble old woman. Although I can say I've not compared SuperNerd to Prince Everything, I'm still attached to PE...even if I say otherwise. There is none comparable. Ugh.
I've had too much time to sit and think about things. I've been eaten alive by guilt. I've been recharged to rescue people. I've also grown more paranoid about everything. I'm afraid. I want to try everything but I do not want to do anything...UGH! How frustrating. I must get out of the house...
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| Blog Comments
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I have missed your posts so much - in fact, I check every day. No! I'm not a stalker.
Anyway, your fear of being behind the wheel right now is to be expected. I got hit by a car ten years ago and still freak out sometimes crossing the street. Traumatic events have long term consequences but I am sure the fear will subside in time.
Sucks about supernerd and his girlfriend. Hopefully he will break things off soon. I really don't understand why guys have so much trouble breaking things off. I think it is so much more cruel to string a girl along when you have no feelings for her. Better to cut the cord and let her find someone else.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-06-26 21:32:30
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Meredith, your posts are my favorites. I always go to your page first- I'm totally addicted to your blogs...and I'm not a stalker either. I appreciate all of your comments and I appreciate your encouragement. As we say in the south, "You're a peach!"
THANK YOU!!!
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Posted by BitterSweetheart
on 2008-06-27 04:29:14
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I am so glad you are writing again. I hope you get better soon. It must be hard to be cooped up!
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-06-30 11:02:30
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I've had a few wrecks so I know what you are talking about, Sweetheart. It sounds like you got hurt pretty bad. Any time you need to talk to someone you know where to find me.
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Posted by Pauligan
on 2008-07-02 13:33:55
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I hope your injuries heal quickly! This is the first blog of yours I've read...but I enjoyed it. We were in a bad accident nearly three years ago [drunk driver hit a hayrack ride we were on] and both my children were injured, my daughter severely. My son still has trouble riding in cars & my daughter still freaks a little when she's at a stop and headlights come up behind. But slowly it gets better...
As for supernerd...aren't guys odd? I hate to say it without knowing him...but do make sure he isn't keeping her around waiting to see if this is going anywhere with you. Some guys [well...some people] can't let go until they have someone else on the string...
take care and good luck!
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Posted by princess__spot
on 2008-07-22 10:56:19
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Hey I miss you.
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Posted by Pauligan
on 2008-08-10 09:24:34
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take care of yourself
keep writing
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Posted by roe
on 2008-08-11 02:48:15
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| Views: 132
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