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| Seperation: What part of the Game was this?
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Who loves the single life? Not me. I put four years into a relationship with someone that I was truly emotionally, mentally and physically attracted to. Now that it is pretty much done. I found myself thinking about the fact that I am the one who did't want to break up. I tried to finish the day out without checking my email to see if she had written me. Of course she hadn't. I am sure she is out having a ton of fun. Now I am not completely miserable. I am actually filling my time with things I need to get done. But I can't help it... I am sitting here thinking about her. Knowing that if I don't blog I might find myself in tears. I hate being the one who didn't change her myspace first. I hate being the one that is waiting by the phone. Because I am not dumb, nor am I a idioit dreamer. I know she is having a ball her first day back at school. I also know that while she was not calling me yesterday she was making plans to see the new people in her life. I hate that I know this and that at moments of the day I can feel how she has moved on.
I find it extremely sickening that I think of ways to get her back. Those moments and plans keep me from crying throught the day. I really don't care for the advice so I just keep a closed mouth. I can't help it... I miss the woman so much. I just wanted it to be...like yeah she is in school. We see each other on the weekends and talk on the phone a couple of times a day. I was going to thrive with that arrangement. But now she can fuck who she wants... and here I am not wanting to fuck anyone. She is not the same. I have a break up theme song and as I thought... The new Ashanti CD is going to get me through. Anyway... it's time to get back to the books.
Until the next time
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Posted by BitterSweetNy on 2008-09-13 00:04:23 | Rating: | Views: 30
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Anya, sweetie, remember that time heals wounds and if she is meant to be in your life, things will happen and she will be there. If she is not, well then maybe in time you will find someone so much better for you than she was. *hugs*
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Posted by heatherslife
on 2008-09-17 22:25:13
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