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| Good Girl GONE REFOCUS CRAZY
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So today has been one of those no holds bar, I am tired of my life days. Now that I have basically gotten what I wanted out of my relationship, I am stuck in the daily funky funk of when am I am going to get a damn job charade. Oh I am doing the tango here with this one. While it hasn't been exactly two weeks since the job interview with The Home Depot, it has been long enough to know the results of the drug test. Yet, still nothing. So of course I am thinking that I didn't past. What else is a girl suppose to think? She is suppose to think she is damn tired of just being a girl and wants to have the change and become a fucking woman. I am tired of playing the role. I know what I fucking want. What am I doing to get what I want. I would have to say whatever it is that I have been doing, it ain't fucking enough. I can tell you that loud of clear. I am becoming a cynical lady folks. My birthday is now offically two days away and I am thinking. How the fuck did I get to May without a job and do I really live with my mother? Oh and then there is my favorite... Chica you have to be kidding me, can't you put your mind to anything. The one thing about being at home...you think to much. So of course at this juncture in my life I am very sure of what the hell I don't like about myself and my situation. I am screaming outloud "GRRRRRR" when I am not happy. I cannot write so the dream is looking more like a fucking joke. Where is the get up and go. I will tell you where it is. It is lost in fear. Completely doused in the flammable liquid of fear. I am so close to burning down the eternal bridge to life I can't even believe it. So you know what a person does when they are not happy when themselves and their life. Oh, they take it out on everyone else! And I am doing that with full vengence. So... I am going to try to calm the hell down. I am going to try and refocus. HOW many times have I done that.......                                 Â
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Posted by BitterSweetNy on 2008-05-21 03:16:55 | Rating: | Views: 64
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Pull yourself together..girlfriend!!!! I have been where you are and believe what you are going is not helping. First, you need to let it out and you have done so now you must meditate on what you want. Trust me it will come sooner than you think.
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Posted by Nubian
on 2008-05-30 16:44:36
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