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BitterSweetNy's Blogs in January 2008

Its A New Year...
So the new year has began. Its starting off for me the way 2007 ended, with me pleading with the world and the gods... Please let me find a job and soon. Someone who I really love and care about is having a birthday soon and I would have liked to get her something special. But......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-03 22:59:23 | Rating:

| Views: 73 | Comments: 1 | Tags: new year

The L Word
So Ladies and Gentlemen and little Lez Girls alike. The L Word Premieres on Sunday.. and I already saw the first episode and its banging. It is my favorite show, because I love women... So for all those who have not seen it... TUNE IT... its a good show... I don't want it to go off the air so......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-03 23:02:27 | Rating:

| Views: 74 | Comments: 3 | Tags: THE L WORD

Lost and Wanting to BE FOUND
Being inside yourself and not really knowing what to do is a scary thing. Its time I just put it all on the line here and just expose myself. I am so lost... I have completely lost my way. So much has changed in the last years, and so much has changed just since last night. For......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-04 13:49:42 | Rating:

| Views: 53 | Comments: 3 | Tags: Losing myself

KNOWING MY SEXUAL (GAY OR NOT GAY)
Knowing my sexual prefernce was at some point humilating. I mean really humilating. I am in looking into the eyes of this hot woman. Thinking to myself. IS my pussy really getting wet, do I really think she is hot. OH and wait... do I really want to shag her. I was not......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-04 15:26:12 | Rating:

| Views: 80 | Comments: 2 | Tags: sexual

Hate is Strong Word..But DO I HATE
Last night, the same thing that happens between me and my ex all the time happened again. I tripped hard, calling her phone like a maniac back to back to back. So tired of having my feelings played with by somebody that I have been nothing but good to.. Okay maybe not exactly all the time. I......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-06 16:25:02 | Rating:

| Views: 28 | Comments: 2 | Tags: relationship mishaps

Lesson's Learned
My heart is bleeding, and I am finally ready to live with that. today was the first day that I made a choice not to talk to someone. I never do that, I always leave the door open, so i can be reached, but today I just didn't want to hear how she wanted to be my friend, and how she thinks I......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-07 05:16:30 | Rating:

| Views: 37 | Comments: 2 | Tags: love and mistakes

JUST LOVERS
We are just lovers, we use to be more than just lovers. We were friends, we were a couple. Now we sneak away time when you like. I wait for your call,and suddenly I oblige. I allow your hands to touch me, your lips to brush my own. I still want forever, but our past is to dark. I......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-08 06:54:30 | Rating:

| Views: 19 | Comments: 0 | Tags: lovers

Late Night
It's really late, closing in on 4am. I should be using this time to write, but its just to many things on my mind. I really fucking hate being told that I have issues. I know what issues I have. Yet, somehow because someone thinks that my priorities are out of line, they can judge me. Glad......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-08 07:03:27 | Rating:

| Views: 38 | Comments: 0 | Tags: life

Oh Haunt Me NOT.. Old Nicotine
Okay, technically I am on the road to quit smoking. Boy is the this road hard. this morning I awoke to the sound of the phone ringing, however I didn't know it was the phone. Somewhere in my head there was a dancing cigarette. No really.... a dancing cigarette. Its been about two days......Read More

Posted on: 2008-01-08 13:48:45 | Rating:

| Views: 51 | Comments: 1 | Tags: cigarettes

Sometimes U Forget
today I did something for a very special person, and I am really proud of it. Like I have said in previous posts, at o ne point in my life I fancied myself a writer. I have always wondered exactly what type of writing that I should do, I love poetry and really thrive on stage, but when......Read More