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| My first ever blog |
So this is my first ever blog...I havve taken that leap and joined the free blogging world. Why? I have so many thoughts and frustrations and I feel bad always venting to my friends and family. I doubt I'll stop venting (thats just my nature), but maybe I can come to some resolutions if I am able to get whole thoughts out all at once. Writing is always better than talking anyway.
This is me:
I have been married for nearly three years and have a two year old son. He is my pride and joy. I always thought it was cool to have dogs because they always made you feel so good after a bad day, all tail wags and happy to see you; that's nothing compared to my son hopping up and down, giggling, and yelling "HI MOMMY." Awesome.
My marriage has been difficult since before we were married; sometimes I am sure it is because I am so picky about everything. I like things my way. I try to be understanding and not too pushy, but if I'm too quiet, things get all messed up and if I say anything, I'm an ogre. My friend best defined it as being a prickly doormat. I get walked all over, get pissed, but never confront the person wiping their feet on me. I don't think my husband really likes me; I think he loves me, but like me?...not so much. It's sad because I like him (most of the time). We've both changed alot in the past 4 years. I have become a mom - everything I do is for my son and most of my focus in life is on him and my husband. I am attentive in everyway to both of them. My husband is rarely attentive to me in the way I am to him and that really bothers me. He still wants to be single in alot of ways I think. He's in a band, likes all the attention, likes to chat with the chickies...our sex life has diminished to an embarressingly low level for a couple in their twenties.
Part of his problem with me (without a doubt) is that after I had our son, I became a Christian. I'm not preachy, but my morals have changed some. There are certain things I used to think were ok that I can't support anymore. To him, I've changed in a way that doesn't fit into...his lifestyle, I guess. We're going to thrapy; I just pray that we can make it work. I'm just tired of being alone and lonely all the time.
I thank God everyday for the blessings in my life. I pray for wisdom and strength and the ability to get through this hard time.
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Posted by BelovedFool on 2009-10-28 12:08:40 | Rating: | Views: 13
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