Thoughts.com Blogs - Pregnancy so far, the perks and pitfalls!!

21 weeks and 4 days down, that means 18 weeks and 3 days or a total of 129 days till my due date!! Doesn't sound like much at all, yes its sad once you become pregnant you literally count the days or at least Jen and I do. Damn her.....54 days till she drops hers

Ah well it means I have someone put my mind at ease about upcoming scans, midwife appointments so on and so forth.......I think I may avoid her after she gives birth, won't be needing any scare stories in that department!!

I have been trying to think what things would be like at the moment if I wasn't pregnant..... I know I would still be smoking, drinking regularly and heavily, preparing to move to Dundee and start a new life at Dundee College. Things with Calum and I were strained before we found out.......being young students we enjoyed the party lifestyle but when Calum drinks he can get violent. Nights out seemed so necesarry before, I mean what else can students do with their time? Avoiding alcohol seemed near impossible if you wanted friends...especially for Calum if he didnt drink much he got the mickey taken out of him for being under the thumb but if he did it always lead to us fighting and him being a dick. Then there was a baby in the picture.....suddenly alcohol wasn't important. If I had an excuse to not drink so did he, so that I wasnt feeling left out. Nights out are no longer on the agenda - the occasional game of pool at the local with an OJ is still fun but now we spend our time at home together watching movies and playing chess lol it seems pathetic but we are genuinely happy for the first time in a LONG time! Who would have thought a baby would solve all those problems we were having!

As for pregnancy itself - its a bit of a rollercoaster!! I am one of the lucky ones, pretty much escaped morning sickness barring a few days of nausea. That was one thing I was not looking forward to so I feel rather lucky in that sense! As for hormones.........I am the kind of girl who does get very moody when its my time of the month. Now imagine these moodswings multiplied by 25 - Calum didn't know what hit him at first!! I have been all over the place emotionally. Crying at everything, and I mean everything. Calum can no longer make silly jokes about how I look that usually I would laugh at....now its pretty much guarenteed I will end up sobbing for hours! I cried because a child walked past our flat and he looked sad, I cried because mickey asked what I would do if he was going to turn into a zombie and I had to kill him, I cried because I had to spend two nights alone in my flat and the ultimate I actually cried because Mickey cut the OJ carton wrong and I didnt want to spill the juice. As well as crying I would have manic happy phases where I laughed at everything and then there were my stroppy phases.....I was like a monster. Seriously no-one could do any right around me....and by no-one I mean Calum. Poor guy put up with a lot thankfully my hormones seem to have calmed down a LOT so hopefully it will stay that way.

Pregnancy brings a number of amazing changes other than emotions of course. I love my bump which is currently quite small so managebale hehe. However I do not love my belly button any more. Read all the books which say blah blah blah, round about 20 weeks you will really start to show, bout week 24 your belly button may begin to flatten or even pop out. AHEM - mine has been sticking out since last week. Quite frankly its gross, especially when I get a fit of the giggles...then I can feel it protruding and feeling like its gonna pop! And Im barely half way there if I grow much mor I fear I may actually burst!! Back ache is another pain Im having to get used to. I usually lay about in awkward positions cause I find them comfy. Now if I stay in any position for more than five minutes my right leg and or back seize up and I am left in immense pain and unable to walk for aaages. At Calums house we atched a DVD, I stood up and then had to have him hold me up for a bout 20minutes completely still because any movement sent a sear of pain to my back. Must invest in one of those pregnancy cushions and hope it works.

Its safe to say pregnancy is not without its pitfalls, and Im assured that as I grow they will too joy of joys. However I have to say its definately worth it! After my 12 week scan I didnt feel pregnant for a long time. I didnt have morning sickness or any sypmtoms of pregnancy, I wasn't showing at all and I couldnt feel my baby or anything. Although I had seen it on the screen I would panic that something had gone wrong because surely I should FEEL pregnant. This feeling seemed to last ages however now with my bump, an yes EVEN the belly button puts my mind at ease!! The best thing ever was feeling my baby move inside me! It started of like feeling a fluttering in my tummy....like butterflies. Very faint - I doubted whether I was actually feeling anything but then on 15th April I felt the first definite kicks while lying in bed. It was amazing - Calum could even feel it! Since then the movements have gotten stronger and stronger, on the 22nd I even saw movement! Its so amazing (once you get over the fact its a wee bit gross) I find myself just lying in bed watching my tummy and waiting for signs of life and smiling. Theres no way to explain how amazing and exciting it is to feel your baby move inside you - I wont even try but its good lol. I am so excited about this tiny life I'm growing - how can it not be worth all the pain??