It has been a long while since I blogged, I've been a busy bee however I feel like I may be making blogs more regularly from now on as a form of release! So last time I logged on I was smoking, drinking and nursing hangovers whilst attending lectures and tutorials, pretty average student life. Things were going ok, Calum (my fiance) was living in Dundee most of the time for uni but we were managing to keep things going just fine. You know its amazing what can happen in a few months!!!!
  First I began to regret my choices regarding uni. I was enrolled for a degree in psychology, a degree which to be honest I had become totally uninterested in. I began to wonder what point there was in completing it. So I did all my research and decided I would apply to college in Dundee to do a part time course in childcare and early education - this is more the area I was interested in, it meant I could be with Calum and also meant I could work pretty much full time. It was all decided, Calum and I were looking at flats, we couldnt wait!! Then came the christmas holidays. We continued to make all these plans for our first proper home together and so on. The week before Christmas we found out Calum was going to be an Uncle, his younger brother and his girlfriend were expecting. As they are 16/17at there was a big fuss at first but everyone agreed that the two will make fab parents and they clearly cant wait for their new arrival! On finding out there news I became somewhat broody, I have always adored children (hence the chosen college course). Now when I say broody I mean I was excited and kind of wished it was me in passing. I believe my exact words to Calum were..."Its not fair, they arent even engaged! I want one" lol this was said in a slightly sarcastic way but at the rtime I was jealous. An hour or two later I had forgotten I'd said it and all baby thoughts had gone - I was back to being excited about our new flat.......there is such a thing as karma.
  One week later I realised I was late - with the fus of xmas and upcoming new year I had kind of lost track. Having been quite safe in that department Calum just shrugged and said "meh take a pregnancy test if it will put your mind to rest but lets face it you cant be!" 12 pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctor later proved Calum wrong of course - thats where jealousy gets you! We had both discussed abortion in the past and we both had the exact opinion - not for us. So the second that blue cross showed up (then the blue line then the two blue lines then the words pregnant etc!) we knew that was it - everything had to change. No college, no flat in Dundee a year out of uni for Calum so we can be near family and now everything is baby baby baby!!
   We kind of carried on in a daze and it finally became real at our 12week scan.  Seeing our baby on that screen just seemed so reassuring - something so amazing cant be bad! We knew then we were making the right decision keeping the baby. We were told our due date August the 31st....it seemed so far away but Im now 21weeks gone and so far its flown by!! Our second scan was last week and again it took my breath away how clear everything was!! Seeing our baby's face for the first time - one of the best experiences ever. I always thought pregnancy would scare me - birth, pain, stretch marks, weight gain and so on as things are I am surprisingly calm! Makes a change but I'm actually taking things in my stride for once - maybe its true that everything happens for a reason!!