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| November 5, 2009 |
this is my first blog, and it's not a cheerful one either.
today was a REALLY long day. i really long suckish day. school was a magor drag and people conintuesly pissed me off. one person made me almost to the point of tears. the worst thing is i don't know why! everyday has gotten like that. i'm getting upset over the stupidest things. i know one person i could blame but that wouldn't be fair. cause in the end i'm the one letting myself getting effected like this. he may have broke my heart but i'm the one who's not picking the peices up. not to mention my mother adding on top of the stress. how can i be the reason she gets drunk daily?! i'm not the one who picks up the beer and makes her drink it. that's like saying my mom is the reason i use to cut myself. heh, the only person to blame for the mistakes you make is you. another person doesn't have that kinda control over you. you make the choice. i'm just sick of getting blamed for everything. it pisses me off. i seriously can not wait til i'm old enough to move outta this hell hole and live alone. i perfer to be alone anyway. i still think about him daily though. i made a promise to that boy that i would never love again atleast not in the same way. so far i've kept that promise three months later. no guy can keep my attention long not more then a day. merly and hour. i actually tryied to date other guys and dated three in a week. now i have a pretty bad repuation :/. why does life have to be so dificult?!
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